English 102
November 26, 2007
Communication is the key Communication is the key to any relationship. These are seven words frequently given as advice to a person struggling with a relationship in her life. Whether a person is having problems with a boyfriend, not getting along with her parents, fighting with a friend, or struggling in school because of a certain teacher, these words can help resolve her problem. Talking about the conflict will lead to a resolution. If communication is not available, two people will not be able to develop a relationship. When a person is constantly surrounded by people she is unable to have a conversation with, she will began to feel very alone. This can affect the way she feels about herself. A person’s self-esteem is lowered dramatically when she is unable to communicate with the people around her. In the world today, being different is seen as a bad thing. While growing up, if a person doesn’t have the same clothes, shoes, or hair style as the other children, she is often made fun of. Most people do not interpret being different as simply an expression of ones own unique style, rather they simply view them as being “strange” or out of the norm. Along with not dressing the same as others in their class, speaking a different language is also associated with being “strange”. This is becoming a bigger issue because America is becoming more diverse. According to Farai Chideya, “Nearly one-tenth of the population is foreign-born” (Chideya). This means that there are more kids that primarily speak Spanish or other foreign languages who are attending schools with the majority of the students speaking English.
When kids are made fun of because of their clothes or shoes, they can normally find a way to obtain the ones that are accepted, but what happens when they are harassed because of the language they speak? Are they supposed to just go learn a new language? Not only are the young people looked at differently for speaking a different language, but it also keeps them from developing friendships with the other people their age. This means that the minority children are not only being picked on, but they do not have any friends to comfort them. They are forced to suffer from all the pains of growing up alone. This can be hard on any child. They will eventually begin to believe that because they speak a different language they are outcasts or not as good as the other children. This will cause their self-esteem to be extremely low. I personally have never attended a school where my language was of the minority. So, I can not even begin to understand how these students must feel, but I do know that growing up was not easy and there where many occasions where I don’t know how I would of made it without having someone my own age to talk to. For example, when I was in the sixth grade two girls that were in my group of friends decided one day that I was too annoying for them and they just couldn’t be my friend anymore. I was devastated. As a sixth grader, this was some of the worst news I could have gotten. The friends I played with at recess were everything to me. These girls even went as far to say that we had to share our other friend, Jill. Jill had been my best friend for as far back as I could remember and now I had these cold-hearted adolescents telling me I could only hang out with her on certain days. Luckily for me, my best friend was not like the others girls in the sixth grade. At first, she just stayed in during recess to escape the fighting. Then, she realized I needed her and got me through this tough time. Eventually, I made new friends, but I owe her for getting me through that incident and many other tough times in my life. She is still my best friend today. I can’t imagine going through difficult times like that with no one to talk to. If I spoke a different language than any of my peers and had no one my own age to help me through tough times, my self-esteem would definitely be lower. Discrimination towards people who speak a minority language does not only occur while growing up. The discrimination also occurs for many adults. “While 39% of employees overall say having a diverse work force is very important" (Study: Diversity), there are still employers that have trouble hiring minority employees. According to a study given by the New York Daily News, “Some 19% of the workforce knows someone who they believe was passed over for a job, promotion, or raise because of race or ethnicity” (Study: Diversity). This is sure to have an affect on a minority’s self-esteem. How can they feel good about themselves knowing that no matter how hard they work, how much experience they have, or how much schooling they have, they will be judged based upon their race and the language they speak. Richard Rodriguez , the author or “The Achievement of Desire”, would definitely agree with my idea about the relation between a person’s self- esteem and the language they speak. In Rodriguez’s essay, he explains how he entered the second grade speaking very little English as the son of an immigrant, and ended up an amazing scholar with no trace of his minority background. Rodriguez was extremely embarrassed by his parents for their lack of education not because he thought that they were stupid, but because they were not like his teachers. (Rodriguez 568). He moved so far away from his past with all of his schooling he had almost no connection left with his family. Now, as you read the end of his essay it is apparent that finally towards the end of his education he did feel regret for loosing his family, but that means his self-esteem was suffering so much as a child his only goal was to be like the other children. He never once thought about how his transformation could affect his relationship between himself and his family. Adam Phillips, the author of “Houdini’s Box,” tells the story of a famous escape artist, Houdini, in his essay. Houdini would also agree with my belief about the relation of self-esteem and language. Houdini was the son of a failed rabbi immigrant. Growing up, his family was constantly struggling for money. “As a young boy he sold newspapers, shined shoes, and ran errands to ease the family’s persistent financial worries” (Phillips 490). Unless he did something about his future, it did not look too promising. Houdini was embarrassed of his father’s life and did anything he could to escape his father’s past. He even went as far as changing the name given to him by his parents. Eventually, Houdini became a famous escape artist and showed no sign of his past. Houdini, just like Rodriguez, must have felt enough pain associated with being a minority that they were driven to actually change who they really were and where they came from. There are some people though that would not agree with me. Some people believe that speaking a different language than others around them is something that makes them unique. With everyone wearing the same clothes that are in style and using the newest slang words, some would say it is hard for people these days to be unique. While I agree with them that speaking a different language would make a person unique, I do not think the people that hold this opinion realize that uniqueness is not always seen as a good thing. Some people also believe that with America becoming more diverse, speaking a foreign language can be an advantage in the work place. There are employers that look for employees who are bilingual, but having a job is not everything. It is like the saying, money doesn’t buy happiness.
Just because a person has a high-paying job doesn’t mean they don’t need the satisfaction received from having relationships with friends and significant others. There may be some advantages to speaking a different language than the others around you, but in reality when a person is unable to communicate with others she feels isolated. This greatly out-weighs most of the advantages. Gloria Anzaldua, the author of “How to Tame a Wild Tongue,” would be one those people to disagree with my idea about self-esteem and language. In her essay, she makes it very clear how proud she is of her language although it is extremely different from those around her. Anzaldua believes that she should not have to change her language to fit in, but others should learn her language. She indirectly tells us this by writing some of her essay in Spanish that is unable to be translated. Her entire essay explains her frustration with always having to change the type of Spanish she speaks, according to the people she is around. Houdini and Rodriguez were ashamed of their language and identity, but Anzaldua is extremely proud of hers. She even goes as far as to say, “Until I can take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself” (Anzaldua 81). Her self-esteem is actually higher because of the language she speaks. There are many conflicts, other than speaking a different language, which a person may face when trying to communicate with the people around them. A person who is deaf is unable to communicate with the people around her who do not know sign language without a translator. I am sure a person’s self-esteem is lowered when she constantly needs a person’s assistance to hear what others are saying. A person with no schooling may have a hard time understanding someone who is highly educated. The uneducated person may not understand any of the larger words the educated person is saying, but is too embarrassed to ask the definitions because she will feel stupid. Even people of different generations have trouble communicating. Each generation of children create their own slang terms, and it is hard for them not to refrain from using these words as they get older. People from different states have problems understanding each other also. Although, two people from different states may both speak English they could have completely different accents. To someone from Kansas a New York accent is strange, and difficult to comprehend. Communication doesn’t always have to be the way you speak. It could be the hand gestures you make. It would be very easy for someone from the United States to meet someone from another country, and without even saying a word to them offend them. For example the thumbs-up gesture means good job or good in America. In some Islamic Countries it is a gesture that is considered rude. Hand gestures can even mean different things to the different people in your family. If one brother was proud of another for beating a video game, it would be acceptable for the boy to give his brother a high-five. If that same boy was pleased with the meal his mother had cooked him, a high-five would be seen as disrespectful. From people all the way across the country, to the people living under the same roof there are always conflicts in communication. For me, my experience with the different meaning of gestures was a great lesson learned. When I was little, I was just like every other child and believed the only way of doing things was how they were done in my family. I was oblivious to anything going on outside my game of dolls or my first-grade class. I was growing up in a time where most parents were not as strict as they used to be. I had my share of rules, but for the most part I grew up in a relaxed atmosphere. I wasn’t punished for letting out a burp during dinner or not calling my parents sir or ma’am, but one week my parents went out of town and things changed. My grandpa, who held a little different set of beliefs, was my babysitter. By the end of the week he was extremely irritated with us. He had only raised one boy; not three girls. At dinner that last night I made the mistake of putting my feet up on the table when I was done eating. He was furious. To me this just meant I was done eating and wanted to relax. To my grandpa it was an extremely disrespectful gesture. I have never seen my grandpa get angry like he did that evening. I did not fully understand what I did until my parents got home and explained it to me. Even though I was young, from that day on I began to realize that it is important to watch the things you do because they have different meanings to everyone around you. No matter how much money a person has, or how many luxuries she owns, there is always times where she just needs someone to talk to. When a person is unable to communicate with those around them, whether it is because she speaks a different language, she has a different level of education; she comes from a different state, or is from a different generation, her self-esteem will be lowered. It is important for people to be aware of the others around them and include those who do not communicate in the same ways they do.

Works Cited
Anzaldua,Gloria. “Entering into the Serpent.” “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.” Ways of Reading:
An Anthology for Writers. Eds. David Bartholomae and Anthony Petrosky. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2005. 62-89
Chideya, Farai. ”A Nation of Minorities: America in 2050.” Civil Rights Journal. 4.1 (1999): 34
Expanded Academic Index. InfroTrac. Wichita State University Lib. ,Wichita, KS. 25 Nov.
2007 < http://find.galegroup.com.proxy.wichita.edu>
Phillips, Adam. “Houdini’s Box.” Ways of Reading: An Anthology for Writers. Eds. David Bartholomae and Anthony Petrosky. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2005. 515-529
Rodriguez, Richard. “The Achievement of Desire.” Ways of Reading: An Anthology for Writers.
Eds. David Bartholomae and Anthony Petrosky. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2005. 515-529
“Study : Diversity Remains Elusive in the Workplace.” Daily News. 22 Jan. 2007: 10 Your Money. LexisNexis. Wichita State U Lib., Wichita, KS. 25 Nov. 2007