Coping Mechanism Disparity between Men and Women after a Breakup

It can be distressing when serious relationships come to an end, especially if one or both parties have put in so much love and devotion into the relationship. The people after this incident encountered complicated challenges of disentanglement with their previous mate, they had negative feelings about the overall situation, and bound themselves the need to let go and move forward in life, distracted from their pain. According to the article Surviving A Relationship Break-Up,” Surviving a relationship breakup can be one of the most difficult things people ever do and on an emotional level can be one of the most painful processes in our lives. Losing a boyfriend/girlfriend or a husband/wife can feel like your heart is literally being torn out.” When faced with interpersonal mayhem, individuals tend to do things as a mean for coping with the loss of the previous relationship. But how does anyone deals with these heartbreaking situations? How does the coping mechanism of women differ with the men? In the article Gender, Love Schemas, and Reactions to Romantic Break-Ups, Patricia Choo and her colleagues indicates that “Men and women relied on somewhat different coping strategies for dealing with break-up. Although men and women were equally critical of their own roles in break-ups, women are more likely to blame their partners than were men.” Men and women tend to deal with breakups differently. Sporadically, women have a tendency to engage in the blame game than men are. After the breakup, some women develop this idea that the reason why they were dumped because their partners had gone all loco or might have been screwing up with somebody else. In these way women expressed their havoc and somehow made them feel good about their selves. Sharing pain and turning to friends for comfort and re-assurance is another way for women to express themselves. Women usually cope with their loss by spending time with girlfriends, shopping, wallowing, or engaging in activities that will help to keep their minds distracted from their pain. According to the article Surviving A Relationship Break-Up,” it is an equally powerful tool to manage feelings when talking about anything related to the breakup. Talking to friends and family members can bring about some new understandings and relieve some pain. Keeping all of these negative feelings in just doesn’t work, although there may be times when this is necessary, such as in public settings, at work, or in class. Discovering that these feelings are normal and that others have survived these feelings can also be attained when talking to others. “Through this way, women can help themselves cope up with what they had gone through. If women spend their time crying, men, on the other hand, hide their pain behind alcohol…and possibly a new woman. It is very uncommon to see a man staying in on his first Saturday night unattached - crying, and watching A Walk To Remember. Men are built biologically stronger, while women are the more emotional sex due to their biologically given weaker frame. Therefore men tend to ‘man up’ after a break up, and hit the bar, and sometimes hit on a few girls, too. This helps boost their self-esteem. Women tend to show the emotions of the break up more than men, but in a study conducted at the University of Hawaii in 1996, “researchers argued that it is men who suffer most after break-ups. Men tend to have more of their emotional and practical needs met in their love relationships than do women; thus men suffer more when such close relationships end” . This would be unusual because men tend to hide their emotions – especially when it comes to breakups. They do not want to be portrayed as weak; the male has been portrayed as the stronger sex since essentialist views began centuries ago. But men are still human. They tend to be all “macho” but they still can feel emotions such as pain. And according to Amanda in her article It’s Science: Men Suffer From Lovesickness More Than Women,” It turns out, 25% more men suffer from lovesickness than women at a relationship's demise.” Men suffer more not because they don’t know how to cope, but because of how they are conditioned to react to situations like these. If they want to change that, then they should change the way they deal with their emotions. Even though this research shows that men are the ones who suffer lovesickness after a break up, very few men will actually admit to being that distraught over a break up. They hide behind things that are deemed male dominant by society. Women and men will always handle break ups in ways that work for their genders. For some women, it might just be a night on the town to cure her sadness. And hey, – maybe there is a man out there who appreciates a sappy romance movie. People shouldn’t be judged by how much emotion they show, but by how they handle difficult and painful situations.

Works Cited

* Maertz, Dr. Kim. . Surviving A Relationship Break-Up- Top 20 Strategies. University of Alberta. <http://www.mentalhealth.ualberta.ca/en/~/media/>.

* Choo, Patricia, Timothy Levine, and Elaine Haftfield. “Gender, Love Schemas, and Reactions to Romantic Break-Ups.” Journal of Social Behavior & Personality: Handbook of Gender Research Vol. 11 No. 5. 1996 <http://www.elainehatfield.com/96.pdf>.

* Chatel, Amanda. “It’s Science: Men Suffer From Lovesickness More Than Women.” 2014 <http://www.yourtango.com/2014204040/breakup-men-suffer-love-sickness-more-women> .

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[ 1 ]. Maertz, Dr. Kim. Surviving A Relationship Break-Up- Top 20 Strategies (University of Alberta).
[ 2 ]. Choo, Patricia, Timothy Levine, and Elaine Haftfield. “Gender, Love Schemas, and Reactions to Romantic Break-Ups.” Journal of Social Behavior & Personality: Handbook of Gender Research Vol. 11 No. 5. 1996.
[ 3 ]. Maertz, Dr. Kim. “Surviving A Relationship Break-Up- Top 20 Strategies” (University of Alberta).
[ 4 ]. Choo,Patricia, et al. “Gender, Love Schemas, and Reactions to Romantic Break-Ups.”. Journal of Social Behavior & Personality: Handbook of Gender Research Vol. 11 No. 5 p. 144. 1996.
[ 5 ]. Chatel, Amanda. “It’s Science: Men Suffer From Lovesickness More Than Women.” 2014.