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Hidden Truth

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Hidden Truth
Veronica Lee McDowell
Heritage College Knowing oneself and understanding oneself are two completely different things. Upon completing a few personality tests I discovered qualities about myself I was not aware of as well as qualities I have been aware of for some time. The Myers-Briggs test found me to be a guardian, or “security seeking (Profile of the Guardian (SJ) Temperament),” by nature. That same test then found my personality to be that of the protector, where my primary mode of living is focused internally (Profile of the ISFJ (Nurturer/Protector)), whereas the Locus of Control Survey showed me to have an external locus of control Before I had ever heard of the Myers-Briggs test I would never have considered myself a guardian but upon further reading of the description given my Tan’s Profile of the Guardian (SJ) Temperament I would agree with the title I received. The Profile of the Guardian (SJ) Temperament states that guardians tend to be very traditional because they prefer (judging) the way things are (sensing), with changing being a source of discomfort unless it increases the security which they seek. In following the guardians profile I take pride in being helpful, hard-working, dutiful, cautious, and focused on credentials/traditions. I have always found myself more comfortable with a routine always following rules and procedures word for word, it’s like the Profile of the ISFJ (Nurturer/Protector) says speculating and experimenting do not intrigue me rather I would prefer to make do with time-honored and tested products and procedures. Only under rare circumstances where I have taken the time and determined doing something a different way is for the best whether it be safety or save on time will I go the route of change. In associating the guardian with the protector the Profile of the Guardian says this is the guardian that is less likely to seek positions of leadership but to do whatever is necessary to keep things running smoothly to prevent problems. Responding to this I have to disagree, any position I have ever held I have always sought management, if not for me just to ensure the rules were enforced because I did not believe the current management was doing a well enough job in doing so. But that may have been my downfall in every job I’ve ever held and been promoted at, because even in the position of power I found myself caught between trying to enforce the rules and still having everyone like me; it felt as though I was losing all control and internalizing the stress from it just became an everyday occurrence. Reading more into the Profile of the ISFJ (Nurturer/Protector) I realized it was because being extremely aware of the feelings of those around me I did not want to be seen in a negative light so to avoid it I just internalized everything turning thoughts into firm judgments against others that I could not remove even knowing what I was doing was wrong, I just could not change my view. Finding outlets to vent my emotions and feelings has always been difficult because I refuse to allow others to see me in any other light because in almost word for word with the article I strive on positive feedback and if I allow another to criticize me in a way that I become discouraged I lose all motivation. In further reading of the Profile of the Guardian (SJ) Temperament it says people such as myself are attracted to fields in medicine which is where I find myself today, studying for career as a medical assistant. Which I must say is the best choice considering the Profile of the ISFJ (Nurturer/Protector) says the best career direction for people like me will be something I am extremely interested and in-tune with how other people are feeling as well as where I can enjoy creating structure and order. The last survey I took, the Locus of Control Survey, gave me a six out of 23 meaning I had an external locus of control. Locus of Control Survey Results states that lower scores such as mine are a reflection of an individual’s sense of being “done to” or even victimized. To which I must disagree I do not consider myself helpless or having the world made me to be a victim, I own my mistakes and turn them into lessons learned doing my best not to repeat them. Yes, I believe heavily in fate only because my life has taught me to do so. I may try to fight fate to make sure things go according to my plans but fate always wins out, leaving me wondering why I fought so hard to do it one way when it still finds a way to do it its own way in the end. At the end of the day I just have to go with the flow because nothing is completely under my control. I understand my results may contradict one another but I am only human, and just like every other human on the planet I am a complex being with multiple layers to peel back and understand. Even taking my entire lifetime I do not ever expect to fully understand why I may do something, say one thing and not another, or eat what I do. I do know I look forward to tackling the challenges my everyday life enjoying every step of the way on my pathway to success.
References
Tan, M. (n.d.) Profile of the Guardian (SJ) Temperament. Retrieved from http://idigitalcitizen.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/profile-of-the-guardians-temperament-sj-types-pdf2.pdf
Tan, M. (n.d.) Profile of the ISFJ (Nurturer/Protector). Retrieved from http://idigitalcitizen.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/isfj-profile-nurturer-protector-pdf2.pdf
Locus of Control Survey Results. (2009). Retrieved from http://www.careerdiagnostics.com/surveys/locus_results.htm

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