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How to Be an Orange

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Submitted By anniegoldberg1
Words 551
Pages 3
Chapter 1: Physical Appearance

You, being an orange, want to stay fit and healthy. You want people to enjoy eating you. Here are some tips about the way you should look:

1. Work out to ensure maximum juice inside you.

2. Make sure you take care of your peel. Don't let it get brown.

3. Brush and floss daily to ensure you don't go bad while waiting to be eaten.

4. Enjoy being eaten; it is what you were made for. Let out lots of juice. People like it.

5. Don't squeal or make any noise when being eaten. People will get scared and will not eat you.

Now that you have some idea of how to stay fit and healthy, let's take a look at how people react to oranges of different physical states.

If you exercise lots, you gain lots of juice, and bigger wedges. People love this because the juice is refreshing and they get more of it from the bigger wedges. People will eat all of you instead of just half or part. You also want to be aware of not getting too juicy. If you do, you turn out to have sour juice, and people will call you 'poop', throw you on the table, and then in the trash. No orange wants to have their self-esteem crushed like that.

If you take care of your peel, people won't just throw you away without even opening you. When your peel turns brown, they think you have gone bad and are rotten. So for all of you California oranges, no sun tanning! That goes for all of you. You should stay nice and cool in the fridge. Plus, if you stay cool, people will enjoy your large amounts of juice better. Also, brush and floss daily to make sure you don't go bad. One key factor in living the life of an orange is to make sure you don't go bad. (Note: if people leave you on the counter, try not to go bad. They might put you in the fridge later and you will still have a chance!)

Enjoy being eaten. It's self-explanatory. You were made to be eaten. And let out lots of juice with each bite a person takes. They will like it a lot more if you do.

DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE WHILE YOU ARE BEING EATEN! If you do people will get totally scared of you and never eat any oranges again. Your relatives would never forgive you because you made the child in the house hate oranges. You would be disinherited! No orange wants that...

Chapter 2: Your Goal In Life

As an orange, your goal in life is to be eaten. Ways to make your goal as easy as possible are listed in the previous chapter. Take good care of yourself to make sure you are eaten and enjoyed. Make sure you achieve your goal in life; it is very important to an orange. Here are some things that will happen if you do achieve your goal.

1. One certain person will be immensely satisfied with your great juicy taste.

2. You won’t be disinherited by your relatives.

3. You might get to actually see your relatives [naked :O] if you’re lucky.

4. You will be happy because you

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