“Why should I have to read this book”, a question that typically lingers through the mind of young adults today, including me. Most kids around the same age as me will tell you that leisure reading is almost a thing of the past. However, this book, seems like a must read that should be assigned to seniors in high school. Reading is just about seen as boring, but in my opinion it is equivalent to the opposite of just that. My primary goal in this paper is to bring hard facts as to why this book should be read; on the other hand, my secondary goal is to ensure to the reader that I have read the text. The book begins with a brief description of Dale Carnegie himself, which is the author of the text. He was born in 1888 in Missouri on a farm. From here it goes on to discuss his education and reasoning as to why he wrote this book and also how he wrote the book. In the text, Carnegie describes the biggest problem people will come across is the fact that we have to deal with each other, especially if you are in a business career. He read numerous magazine articles, records, writings of philosophers, and more to get a better understanding on how great leaders dealt with people. Carnegie even hired a trained researcher to spend one and a half years in several libraries to search over things he possible could have missed. From all this material is how he developed, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” As the years begin to lengthen, the book did as well. Dale Carnegie started off with a set of rules printed on a card. Of course, the list is now the book we are discussing currently. The next part of the book is very informative, Carnegie writes nine suggestions about how to get the most out of his book. It’s very important to stop and think about what you are actually reading, rather than to keep on reading without actually comprehending. I think is very helpful because I tend to read along without actually having a understanding of what the author is discussing. Taking a moment to go over the text and summarizes the paragraphs is a great way to comprehend. Reading with a highlighter also gives the reader a way to emphasize key points and come back to these sentences at a later time. People should understand that humans, including you, might not react to criticism very well. According to Carnegie, “criticism is known to be futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves” (Carnegie, 27). I am a living witness that this is the truth. I love to sing, but around others, I tend not to belch out songs I know and love today. Why you may ask? This is because I am simply afraid of criticism. Criticism can be harsh; In fact, many humans only seek for approval and do not want to be rejected. So, this is why I tend to keep my singing to myself. With this being said, you don’t want to criticize anyone, especially if you don’t find it pleasing yourself. If you have a complaint about someone, hold it back, this is so your conversation is not negative and you can actually have a friendly conversation with a person. After getting an understanding about criticism, Carnegie then goes on to explain how to deal with people. You should always be nice to others when talking to them. Compliments are always great attributes to a conversation, and can also be a great conversation starter. Sincere appreciation is also a great way for handling people. Once people are shown that they are appreciated and are important to you, they will feel comfortable around you, and have no problem conversing with you. Think about it, if you didn’t make eye contact or showed someone they mattered while talking to him or her, do you think that they would want to you again? Probably not, and this is because people want to feel as if they are admired. Essentially, you should become genuinely interested in others, which may be a challenge to some. Always listen and respond when possible throughout conversation. Humans are known to only remember the first and last things with most of the stuff they know. So, bringing fourth a smile when they first see you proves to have a positive effect. In fact, Carnegie states that, “actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, you make me happy and I am glad to see you.”” (Carnegie, 75). Just remember that your first impression with someone lingers. You don’t want someone to remember you as a bitter and not so friendly person. Everyone knows how hard it is to win an argument once you are in one. The easiest way to make an enemy is to tell them that they are wrong. Most of the time, people don’t even come to a conclusion and things never get resolved. So, to overcome all of this, it is best to not even get in an argument. Arguments is known to cause heartache as well as confusion. If it does come a time where an argument does happen, listen first. You don’t want to jump down the other person’s throats with your feelings. Begin with positive points, and then end with things you dislike and offer suggestions about what can be done to fix these things. While you are listening, let them say what they have to say (all of it), and then try to look for areas of agreement. The person may complain and even accuse of many wrong acts. Then, begin to apologize for any mistakes, this will reduce defensiveness and disarm your opponent. But remember, the only way to get the best of an argument is to simply avoid it. If possible, lead them to the conclusion of the argument, suggest a way things can be fixed or handled, and ask them if they agree with it as well. This will cause them to think the idea is theirs and they will finish the argument thinking positive and feeling positive. In a nutshell, you want to win people to your way of thinking. Once you start to get out more, and talk to people more you may come across people that are hateful and may seem hostile. Luckily there are ways to change someone in a friendly way, and the steps are written in this book. Try criticizing them indirectly, perhaps you would say that you hate when people do a certain thing, but instead of saying it directly to them, maybe you would write it somewhere they would see it, or even say it to someone else when they are around. However, take note that you don’t want to start off criticizing them, you want to start off with positive attributes first, and then move on to the indirect criticism. Another effective way to change someone is to criticize yourself first. It will show them that not even you are perfect and there are some things you still have to work on. Once this person or people begin to show improvement you want to tell them in a clear way that they are doing better and you appreciate them. I love when I am at work, and my manager pulls me to the side and tells me how she notices that I am doing a great job and that I should keep the hard work up. This builds confidence and now the person will continue to keep it up. Overall, this book showed me that making new friends and communicating with other people is not that difficult. One major aspect of this book is when arguing I should actually listen first. Taking the time to actually hear what the problem is can help big time in coming up with an actual conclusion. A lot of times I listen to just make a reply or a counter argument, rather than listening to understand. Now, I know that I should be hearing out the other person, and creating ways that I can better the situation and myself. This is a great book for an introverted individual that may be petrified to talk to others.

References

Carnegie, D. (1964). How to win friends and influence people. New York: Simon and Schuster.