Living with Abuse, an interview with a young adult

The struggles of living as an adult after being abused as a child are numerous. I was abused by my stepmother when I was between the ages of 1.5 and 4 years of age. She cared for me alone at times when my father was at work. She would punish me by making me stand in a corner for hours or the entire day. If I would lean on the wall or try to sit down, she would handcuff me, stuff a washcloth in my mouth and put me in the dark closet. Other physical punishment would include pouring salt on my applesauce and forcing me to eat it, stomping on my toys to destroy what I loved, making me touch her private areas, her touching my private areas, threatening to hurt my mom or my dad. These memories come to me like an old time movie reel. My father punished me for trying to tell him that she was hurting me and he reprimanded me for me telling my mother what was happening. Ultimately my mother did her best to protect me. She put me through counseling, went up against my father and stepmother, and reported the abuse to the state each time something new came out. She stated to me recently that she would have fled with me had she not been pregnant with my brother at the time. I have struggled all of my life. I had learning difficulties as an adolescent, I seemed to always get myself into trouble in school for fighting or talking back. I started smoking when I was 12 years of age and began drinking when I was 17 years of age. I began my arrest record at that age as well. I am now a convicted felon for theft, drugs, and breaking an entering. I am an alcoholic that has tried pot and pills. My mother once asked me why I drink. My response to her after thinking about it was, "It is the only thing that takes the pain away". I have feelings of rejection from my father. He gave me up when I was 7 years of age and I see