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My Big Fat Greek Wedding Review

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Movie Review
Movie Review
COMS 4100 Summer2013
Andrea Holmes
COMS 4100 Summer2013
Andrea Holmes

The movie I chose to analyze is “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” starring Nia Vardalos, John Corbett and other bigger than life stars. This movie is about a young Greek woman, Toula Portokalos, who struggles with her identity and does not feel like she fits in. She desires more in life and is confused as to how she will fill the role her parents require of her. Toula’s family migrated from Greece to give her and her siblings, Athena and Nick a better life. Their father, Gus, is sure to remind them of this every chance he gets. He believes the Greek way is the only way and is very intolerant of pushback from his children.
Toula’s mother, Maria, is a strong woman who believes in working hard, loving hard, and cooking huge meals at any given moment. Toula fights the fact that she is nothing like her family. She is quirky and finds that she is a square peg in a round hole.
The Portokalos family is very big and exceptionally close. Every occasion calls for a party and every party calls for the most food any person could ever imagine. This rambunctious lifestyle has always been a thorn in Toula’s side and no matter how hard she tries, she is unable to find her niche in life.
As a Greek woman, she is expected to marry young, have many children and work in the family business, a diner called the Dancing Zorbas. Not only is she to marry a nice man, he is to be a nice, GREEK man. While trying to come to terms with her cultural distinctiveness, Toula meets and falls in love with a non-Greek.
When Toula meets Ian Miller, a non-Greek, she is forced to come to grips with their differences. She also must try to get her family to accept him and love him for who he is. This will be a difficult task since she is the first of the family marrying someone of not her own cultural background. She realizes that whatever she decision she makes will have a bearing on her future, relationship with her family and ultimate happiness.
While watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding, there were numerous examples of intercultural communication. To begin, the first thing I noticed in the movie is how much emphasis was placed on family values. Family values are defined as values especially of a traditional or conservative kind which are held to promote the sound functioning of the family and to strengthen the fabric of society (Merriam-Webster, 2013). Revealed in the film, family is to be cherished, honored and respected.
Their family met on a weekly basis for dinner and it was a joyous occasion to be enjoyed, not endured. In addition, regardless of how old the children got, parents still provided emotional and financial support even into adulthood. An example of this would be that at Toula’s and Ian’s wedding, her parents bought a house for them as a gift.
Toula even made reference to realizing she would cook for everyone in her family until the day she died. Children in the Greek culture do not simply grow up and move on with their lives. They stay connected and the family just gets larger.
Ethnocentrism is defined as the tendency to place one’s own group (cultural, ethnic or religious) in a position of centrality and worth, and to create negative attitudes and behaviors toward other groups (Neuliep, 2012, p. 195). An example of ethnocentrism in the movie is the fact that Gus, Toula’s father, continually states that he can trace any word back to Greek origins. In addition, Toula’s family believes that being Greek is the only respectable way of living and raising a family. Gus is also passionate about Greeks being the greatest and how “Greeks should only be with Greeks to produce more Greeks.” Gus firmly believes that “There are 2 types of people in the world- those who are Greek and those who want to be Greek.”
When Ian’s parents, Harriet and Rodney Miller, attend the family get together at the residence of Toula’s parent’s (Gus and Maria) house, there is an apparent contrast of individualistic vs. collectivistic culture. Harriet and Rodney are a quite, traditional white and upper middle class couple who are very quiet and to themselves. They seem very uptight and as though they have never experienced anything outside of their lily white world. Gus and Maria are polar opposites. They are loud, well-traveled and very friendly. They thrive off of lively and chaotic parties and are at most times the center of them. While studying proxemics (the perception and use of space, including territoriality and personal space), there was a scene that was a prime example of how personal space can be an issue among different cultures (Neuliep, 2012, p. 287). As Ian, Toula, Harriet and Rodney pull up to the house, there is a front lawn full of dozens of family members waiting to welcome them. It is very noticeable that the Millers are very uncomfortable and unsure how to approach the situation. Toula can feel their stress and in turn looks very tense. When Gus and Maria make introductions, they hug Harriet and Rodney and you can tell by the stiff body language that they are not used to lots of physical contact and affection and feel that their personal space is being violated.
In the Greek culture, portrayed in the movie, Gus plays the role of the one in command, no questions asked. This was displayed in several scenes. One that stands out the most to me is when Ian proposed to Toula without first consulting her father. When they finally go to Toula’s home, you hear Gus yelling at Ian for not speaking with him first. Ian explains to him that he doesn’t understand why he would need permission to marry Toula since she is an adult. Gus replies, “I am the head of this house!”
Toula wants to better herself and go to college but her father forbids her. This is another example of social stratification. Social stratification is defined as the rank ordering of roles within a culture (Neuliep, 2012, p. 215). She understands that unless he agrees, she will not be allowed to attend, regardless of her age. When he tells her no, she does not argue with him or try to make her point. She simply cries and accepts the fact that college is now a distant memory.
Her mother, Maria and aunt, Voula, also understand their roles. When Toula wants to work at her aunt’s travel agency, they realize that they need to speak with Gus first. However, in this case, they make Gus think it’s his idea; therefore, getting the answer they desire.
Maria was very good at not outranking her husband or usurping his authority. Instead of arguing with him or disrespecting him, she cleverly changes his mind without him knowing it. Like she so slyly states in the movie, “Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.”
Gus was very territorial of his membership group. Toula, however, sometimes recoiled at the thought of being a part of this group involuntarily (involuntary membership group). Gus did not want anyone outside of his involuntary membership that was not Greek. This is why Ian offered and followed through with getting baptized into their faith and said, “I’m Greek now.”
In addition, it was difficult for Ian, at times, to feel a part or the group since he did not know the language. When all the family was together, Toula had to translate at times. On two occasions, Toula’s brother, Nick, tricked Ian into believing he was speaking their language. On the first occasion Nick told Ian to say, “eho tria orchidea,” which supposedly means: everyone, let's come in the house. When Ian says it, he then realizes later that he was tricked and really said, “I have three testicles!”
Another instance of this is when Ian is given a plate of food by Maria and wants to tell her thank you. He is erroneously told by Nick that thank you in Greek is, "Oréa viziá." Ian repeats it and has really said, “Nice boobs.”
Gus is a very emotional and passionate man. Not only does he speak his mind, his facial expressions speak volumes for him, as well. He has numerous scenes which outline his affect displays, nonverbal presentations of emotion, primarily communicated through facial expressions (Neuliep, 2012, p. 279).
In one particular scene, Maria walks out of their bedroom to find Gus sitting in the dark. His face is very forlorn and he is silent. She walks around the room turning on the lights and tells him to stop sulking. Before he speaks, you can already tell that he is terribly miserable regarding his daughter’s decision to marry a non-Greek.
Another scene is when Ian is being baptized. As the camera pans to Gus’s face, you can tell that he is thinking this whole ordeal is downright ridiculous. He rolls his eyes, blows out a long sigh and then lets his face fall into a blank stare. Those 2 seconds of his facial expressions said more than his words ever could.
Ian had a high intercultural willingness to communicate. He wanted to learn more about the Greek culture and language so he could better converse and relate. As mentioned before, he wanted to know how to say certain Greek words but was tricked. Also, at the end of the movie he allowed his daughter to attend Greek school. Although he was a minority in the group, he wanted to not only stay true to who he was, he also wanted very much to combine Toula’s Greek culture with his own, hence, the baptism.
Also, at their family get together, he was celebrating with Toula’s family in the same manner that they were. He ate their food, drank their beverages and chanted, “Opa!” at all the appropriate times. He agreed to a church wedding and a reception at Aphrodite’s Palace although his parents preferred a quiet affair at their country club. At their wedding, he even did the traditional celebratory Greek dance to commemorate the auspicious occasion.
References
Zwick, J. (Director). (2002). My big fat Greek wedding [Motion picture]. United States: HBO Home Video.
Neuliep, J. W. (2012). Intercultural communication: a contextual approach (5th ed.). Los Angeles: Sage.
Values - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary. (n.d.). Dictionary and Thesaurus - Merriam-Webster Online. Retrieved July 22, 2013, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/values?show=1&t=1374716509

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