Nurture vs. Nature
Blessed Beyond Measure
Nathan T. Thomas
PSY202
Janet Cagley
June 3, 2012

I. Things I remember about my childhood a. Meet my parents b. A broken home c. A Positive role model II. A life of service d. In the Army now e. Hard times III. Marriage and my family now f. Married with children g. The wonder years h. Tomorrow and beyond IV. Final thoughts and conclusion

In retrospect the journey that my life has taken from childhood to the present, has been a whirlwind of ever-changing dreams and desires. I’ve gained an appreciation of who I am today, the factors that have motivated me to continue, and a deeper understanding of the path I would like to follow as I pursue future goals. In my development I believe the foundational building blocks of who I am can be traced to the nurturing that I received from multiple parental sources within my environment. I was born a black child and raised initially within a dysfunctional poor family environment. The very nature of my parent’s genetic make-up with alcohol issues, abusive tendencies and intellectual differences. Leads me to believe my life should have turned out much differently if genetic nature was more at play in my development. There for I think that for the moment I feel that nature along with the nurturing environment shaped who I am today. I feel my life is a text book argument for nature vs. nurture.
My life’s journey from birth to present day has been an exhilarating, ever-shifting tumultuous trek. I was born the only child of a Southern–Baptist couple; my father was a high school dropout while my mother was a college graduate. With this information and understanding nature vs. nurture it could be easily said that my life could have gone in any direction when it comes down to my educational future. Based off of the understanding of nature it could be said that my father the high school dropout possessed weaker intellectual genes than my college graduate mother. But while my father was indeed a dropout his intelligence was far from below average. In fact he had a very keen since of understanding for the mechanics of the world around him and how things worked. While on the other hand my mother was a college graduate who excelled in every manner of exhortations. Both my parent’s education not withstanding provided me more with a since of accomplishment through hard work more than by manner of what they each accomplished in life.
The very fact that I was destined to attend public school because of my parent’s low financial standing would have little impact on my educational development. The reason I can make such a bold statement in regards to my development is because throughout my school years my mother single handedly guided my educational development through nurturing No matter what subject I was having trouble in my mother would garner me one on one time with my teachers or find someone well educated in the subject if she could not. I remember many times that I was loaded into the family car and driven to a teacher’s home and my mother would wait in the car while I was individually schooled by the teacher in whatever subject I was deficient. Despite my parent’s inability to provide me with education in a higher level teaching institution my mother took steps to provide me with addition educational benefits when I needed them. Thus it can clearly be seen that my mother would go to great lengths to insure I was in the proper environment (nurture) to receive strong cognitive educational development. This also supports the statement made in Adult Development and Life Assessment book. Our environment plays a huge role in how we develop, what pathways are open to us, and which are closed. The multiple influences of the environment (nurture) over many years are largely responsible for shaping us into the unique individuals that we are (Witt & Mossler 2010) Section 2:10.

My father was a very heavy drinker and would often times become abusive to both I and my mother. I feel my mother put up with the abuse simply to keep the family together, a choice that almost became fatal for her. It was at the advice of her mother that she finally got out of the abusive marriage and continued to raise me on her own. It is believed by many that a predisposition to disorders and personalities are handed down genetically. Personality is also significantly influenced by heredity. For example, Kagan and Snidman (1991) found that about 15% of children followed in a longitudinal study seemed to have been born with a predisposition for shyness, making them unusually anxious about unfamiliar objects, places, and people. Rothbart (2004) reports that shy children often have shy parents. Here you would be correct to question whether nature or nurture is at work (Witt & Mossler 2010) Section 2:10.
I did not start drinking until after the death of my mother, I do not think I would have started drinking otherwise simply because I had strong family influence directing me. I truly believe my drinking was a combination of coping mechanisms and a direct result of peer pressure not a genetic predisposition passed on to me by my parents. During my adolescent years I was not without a positive strong male influence in my life despite the absence of my father. My mother’s brother my uncle did everything to ensure I had positive guidance even good discipline when needed. During my late teenage years while my mother was battling cancer my uncle went through a nasty. This greatly reduced the amount of time and direct influence he had in my life. Following my mother’s death I was attempting to cope with the enormous change my life had just gone through with limited parental guidance. The reductions in positive parental environmental input in my life lead to an increase in negative environmental inputs in the form of peer pressure. This is a point where it could be argued that in the absence of a positive nurturing environment I was driven by natural genetic traits inherited form my parents.
I do not possess the clinical ability to completely dismiss the argument for genetic predispositions but I feel personally that my environmental influences played a much greater role at that stage of my development. My uncle moved in with me following his divorce and the impact he had on my life was immediately evident. I reduced my level of drinking considerably; I had dropped out of high school following my mother’s death but my uncle persuaded me to return to school. With the positive nurturing back in my life I went on to graduate with honors. Thus proving to me that my environment won out over my genetic predispositions to drink and be classified as intellectually inferior by genes passed on by my parents.
I chose a life of service in the military before my mother’s death. I did so in an effort to try and help provide for her during her failing health. I chose the Army because my uncle the positive male influence in my life was a soldier and there was a part of me that wanted to be just like him. I served two years in the Alabama Army National Guard along with my uncle who now not only influenced me in the home but also had a great deal of positive influence in my early military career. Shortly following my twentieth birthday I expressed a desire to strike out and live life on my own. Now my family relationship with my uncle had by this time undergone enormous change. I very much emulated him in my daily life from the very way I dressed to how I spoke to people; I even shared in his world view. His influence in my life had become so intense that I asked him if I could refer to him as my dad, of course he agreed as long as he could call me son. I left home February 1993, after laterally transferring from the National Guard to Active duty service. I was shipped off to Fort Hood, Texas, for my first assignment thus removing me from the direct positive nurturing environment of my home.

The effects of the removal from that positive environment were apparent almost immediately; the first impact being my financial decline. Having freedom to buy what I wanted without any oversight was disastrous for me. At the behest of my peers I spent money on things I did not need and often people I did not know. The only reason I did not go hungry or live in a card board box was the fact that the Army was providing me with 3 daily meals and a bed to sleep in. Otherwise I was leaving as a destitute and often found myself calling home asking my dad for money. After several months of begging and receiving funds I was cut off financially by my dad. I was instructed to take finance classes and stop hanging around the wrong crowd of people, neither of these pieces of advice I followed.
I could not wait to start drinking again I wanted desperately to look and act like my older soldier comrades. Two day following my twenty-first birthday I woke up in Darnell Army Community Hospital suffering from severe alcohol poisoning. A direct result of Binge drinking, which is defined as elevating blood alcohol levels to .08 or higher over a 2-hour period, is especially dangerous. I allowed the influences of my peers and my current life style of living to drive my decision to drink to excess. Through continued binge drinking I became addicted to alcohol and cigarettes from those addictions I experimented with other controlled substances. Among youths who smoke cigarettes, the rate of illicit (illegal) drug use is over 9 times higher than among those who didn’t smoke. Those data do not mean that cigarette smoking leads to drug use. They simply show that the kind of person who smokes at a young age is more likely to also use drugs. Personality factors may be more important than the actual behavior of lighting up (Witt & Mossler 2010) Section 3:1.

Due to increased peer pressure from negative influences I convinced myself that I no longer needed the positive influence of my dad telling me how to live my life or tell me who I am. The new environment that I chose to immerse myself in was absolutely counterproductive to my young adult maturation and adult development. I surrounded myself with other lost and confused young adults who were searching for the identity they did not have. I was among the most fortunate of my peer group that lived this most dangerous life style of substance abuse. I married when I was twenty-eight, to a young woman who shared in my life style. The combination of two destructive personalities normally does not end well and my failed marriage was no exception.
Despite several years of physical neglect and mental decline a direct result of my life style I was able to overcome my addictions. I restored the broken relationship I had with my dad and started following his advice on how to begin restoring my broken life. Being that I did grow up in a very Christian environment it is of no real surprise I was directed by my dad to return to church. I removed myself from the negative daily influences the surrounded me and reacquainted myself with more positive surroundings. The change was instant in me, being around young adults who wanted something out of life pushed me to desire something out of life for myself. While the withdrawal form that life style was difficult it was extremely rewarding to look back and see I was free from that part of my life. I would like to say I owe the all success to the nurturing environment that I was in but I’ll interject here and point out that while my father was addicted to alcohol he was to my knowledge never addicted to any other controlled substances. So my biological father’s predisposition to drink may have had something to do with that time of my development. But it was again the nurturing that won out over nature.
While stationed in Fort Stewart, Georgia I met another soldier who soon became my wife. Not long after the marriage I became dad too her children from her previous marriage. Due to possibility of both I and my wife deploying and leaving our children, my wife opted to leave military service. To support my family, I continued to serve in the army working on civilian and military education. My greatest achievement by far has been my role as a dad. My happiest moments have been those shared with my wife and children. We have developed strong bonds through many extremely challenging times in our life. My family has been a key contributor to my motivation for excellences; they have inspired me to always do more than merely achieve success. I strongly agree with the text found in the Adult Development and Life Assessment book where it is stated that. We see a strong correlation between a richer set of life experiences and performance in school at all levels, greater acceptance of others who are different, better understanding of the world, and better preparation for the opportunities that life offers. Education has a high correlation with prosperity and lifetime earnings. As an adult learner, you are back on that path now, perhaps after overcoming many obstacles. As noted in the section "Self-Esteem," you should feel proud (and your family should feel proud of you) for finding a way to go back to school so that you can achieve your dreams and for the work that you do in taking each step down that path (Witt & Mossler 2010) Section 1:3. I know that my family is very proud of my steps taken to complete my degree. That bust to my self-esteem makes achieving the goals I’ve set for myself and my family that much more achievable. While I am knocking on the door of middle adulthood it seems to have arrived on me all of a sudden I feel like one moment I was twenty and now I am forty. Truthfully I know the arrival was not that sudden I did not notice gray hair until I was thirty-eight. I have not seen any major physical declines in my body due to daily exercise and highly active life style. I have never had issues with my weight but I have read that countless articles that show reducing your weight to a healthy level pays big dividends physically, emotionally, and socially. Knowing that I ultimately want to live longer in order to further enjoy time with my family I plan on taking steps to improve my diet along with the exercise I enjoy. In the next three years I will retire from active duty military service with twenty-five years total time in service and twenty-three years active duty. All time that I can assure you I’ll be honored to have served with some very interesting, often fascinating and truly remarkable people. I look very much forward to my life after military service, one where I will contribute to my community in a different way. The prospect of earning my college degree is both somewhat frightening and exhilarating; knowing that the accomplishment will be due to my personnel efforts. I also look forward to passing on the value of a good education on to my children. Who am I? If someone had asked me this question fifteen years ago I could not have answered it with true conviction or real honesty. Today however thanks to the efforts of the man I call dad I know who I am. I think largely because I know where I came from. I am a man in control of my life; I have lived through personnel tragedies and reclaimed my identity. I am a soldier who through a life of service has come to greatly appreciate the Nation I serve. I am a father a dad to my children who look up to me for guidance and direction. I am a husband who looks forward to growing old with my wife. I am a believer and follower of Christ who enjoys sharing my love of the Lord with everyone. But most of all I am happy knowing that today I am who my God is shaping me to be. I am a man who by all accounts has been truly Blessed Beyond Measure.

The journey my life has taken has been anything but uninteresting, boring, dull, or tedious. No. My life has been a true whirlwind of discovery some good, some bad, but all necessary in the pursuit of finding out who I am. I was raised in a broken home but I was not subject to a broken environment I was provided love and support by multiple parental sources. Despite the poverty I lived in my mother ensured I was provided the best education possible. I was challenged by lost at a very young age despite the negative set back that proved to be in my life I was alternately provided positive reinforcement that countered the negative. My family Microsystems were a large influence on who I am today more so than my genetic make-up. I have taken control of the who I am and now use that control to insure I will continue to work on becoming the who I want to be. I know I have no clinical back ground that allows me to pass a physiological review on myself but I feel I was a product of a truly nurturing environment that overcame predispositions handed down by my parents. But I guess this is all very subjective and open to interpretation by the reader. I close by revisiting a statement I made earlier where I said “I’m in control of my life now.” I know that I can influence the forces around me for good with a Godly purpose and in doing so I can use those forces to propel me onward in the right direction. “Success is not given to us it is taken by us,” and I plan on taking my share of life’s successes today.