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Managing Conflict
Joshua E. Watts
Excelsior College

Managing Conflict When relationships become closer, more personal, and more interdependent, conflicts become increasingly more likely, hence inevitable. (Cahn and Abigail, 2014, p.5) This is call the inevitability of conflict principle which I experienced several years back when my wife and I took her two younger brothers in to live with us after their mother passed away. They were in high school at the time and had been in their lives since they were 5 and 6 years old. I had a great relationship with them both with no conflict at all until they moved in. Back then I didn’t have much knowledge in regards to conflict and how conflict should be accepted as a fact of life and is seen as a part of all relationships. (Cahn and Abigail, 2014, p.5) I didn’t use conflict management very well after her brothers moved in and it took its toll on our marriage causing problems as I would avoid the conflict all together and not come to any kind of resolution until it was too late. I never exchanged verbal or nonverbal messages in the conflict situation sidestepping conflict communication all together. (Cahn and Abigail, 2014, p.11) Finally came the trigger event when enough was enough and it was time for them to move out so our lives could get back to normal. We came to a resolution that her brothers would move in with another family member. I think this situation would’ve turned out differently if all parties involved were a little more prepared for what was going on and how we got there. Maybe the use of civility would’ve helped as our readings suggest, civility is a way of being attentive, acknowledging others, thinking the best of others, listening, being inclusive, speaking kindly, accepting others,

respecting their boundaries, accepting personal responsibility, and apologizing when necessary.

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