Running Head: ADOLESCENTS IMAGE OF SELF

Parental Influence of Adolescent Image of Self
Liberty University
David W. Appleby, PHD, PHD
May 2012

Abstract:
Of the many different relationships people form over the course of life, the relationship between parent and child is among the most important. The quality of the parent-child relationship is affected by the parent's age, experience, and self-confidence. It can also be affected by the stability of the parents' marriage; and the unique characteristics of the child compared with those of the parent (Lian and Yusooff, 2009.) The parent-child relationship consists of a combination of behaviors, feelings, and expectations that are unique to a particular parent and a particular child. Wounded children - those who have experienced maltreatment, loss, and disrupted attachments - are often defiant, angry, biologically disorganized, and afraid to trust and love. (Academic Press, 2000) This paper will show how the relationship between a child and a parent affects body image and self-esteem.
Important words to know: Self-image, Self-esteem, Body-image, Autonomy, Puberty, and Myelination.

Adolescents deal with numerous issues while going through physical and psychological changes. This paper will focus on is an adolescent’s view of self, which includes self-esteem and body-image. Adolescents are no longer looked upon as children, but cannot yet be considered adults (Feldman, 2011.) Self-image is defined by Wikipedia as,” the mental picture, that depicts not only details that are potentially available to objective investigation by others , but also items that have been learned by that person about himself or herself, either from personal experiences or by internalizing the judgments of others.” Self-image is a threefold internal view an adolescent has of themselves: how they see themselves, how others see them or how the adolescent thinks others see them. Numerous studies of adolescent self-image indicate that parents play a crucial role in its development. The relationship between the two parents also plays a part in the positive or negative development of self-image in an adolescent. The environment in which the adolescent is surrounded by can either have lasting positive effects or negative ones (Felety, 2003). This is why it is vital for parents to be sensitive with their adolescent during these developmental years. Nurturing and dependable relationships are the building blocks of healthy childhood development. Secure attachments are basic to every aspect of an adolescent’s well-being, mind, brain, emotions, relationships, and morality.
Adolescent physical and psychological development usually begins at age 11 or 12 for girls and 13 or 14 for boys. Puberty not only affects physical changes in the body, but also psychological (Feldman, 2011). The physical changes girls’ experience, an increase in body mass, can lead to negative self-image. The physical changes are not always wanted changes and this can lead to stress and poor body image. They feel that society only excepts thinness and the development of larger hips, buttocks and chest areas they are no longer thin (Markey, 2010). Boys tend to embrace the physical changes of becoming bigger and muscles more defined. This is why boys tend to have a more positive experience with puberty than girls (Davison, and McCabe, 2006). The physical changes that occur in both girls and boys lead to psychological changes. Parents need to be aware of the physical changes that are occurring in their adolescent, which is not always easy, and help the adolescent understand what is happening. Girls seem to be a little more open about the changes, but boys are more secretive about them and sometimes embarrassed (Markey, 2010).
The brain is also going through many different developmental changes. Myelination is occurring in an adolescent’s brain which increases an adolescent’s cognitive abilities. The prefrontal cortex is also developing more, but not fully until about age 20. It allows the adolescent to think more independently, evaluate more thoroughly, and make complex judgments (Feldman, 2011). The result of increased brain function in adolescents can be both positive and negative for them. It gives them a better awareness of the environment around them. This awareness can promote positive or negative behavior, which then can produce avoidance responses. The part that does not fully develop during adolescent age is impulse control. This is why when adolescents have to deal with certain environments and situations they do not consistently exert behavioral control (Luciana, 2010).
Adolescents are asking themselves the questions, “Who am I?” And “What is my place in this world?” Their thoughts about themselves become more concise and determined. They will discover things about themselves that they never knew before and determine if they like them or not (Feldman, 2011). Parents can help this process by recognizing that just because their child does well in areas does not mean they have a positive view of self. The parent who recognizes and vocalizes their child’s achievements will encourage them to begin to develop this ( Bulanda and Majumdar, 2009). Adolescents also have a tendency to give up when they do not succeed at tasks, but parents need to encourage them to push forward and try to do better next time. Adolescents begin to realize they cannot do anything they want in life, but need encouragement to recognize the things they could do (Feldman, 2011). The more confident the adolescent feels about themselves the higher the goals they will set. This will help them in their late adolescent years when having to choose a career to enter into. Parents who are negative during this process can make the adolescent feel that they cannot achieve the things they want to do in life. This is why parents need to be careful what they say, learn to find the good in their child, and encourage them to reach their goals in life (Sabbah et. al. 2009). The parent child relationship has many variables to it, but all studies seem to conclude that it is one of the most crucial relationships for an adolescent development of self-image (Hashimoto et. al. 2011). The parents who create an affirmative environment help the adolescent create a more optimistic image of self. One factor that is influential is the relationship the parents have with each another. Those parents who have more of a loving relationship with each other seem to be more patient and loving to the adolescent (Bulanda et. al, 2009). The parents who are conflicting with one another tend create a wedge in other relationships within the family unit. A father’s relationship with their child seems to be affected more than the mothers, but not in all cases. Parents who do not have harmony in their marriages sometimes then have poor parenting skills, which can lead to negative adolescent behaviors. The adolescent will develop high anxiety, depression, and delinquent behavior that leads then to a poor self-image of self (Lian and Yusooff, 2009).
In general studies have shown that it is more difficult for an adolescent to talk to their fathers than their mothers. The mother has a more nurturing response usually is more educated on topics (Sabbah, et. al. 2009). A positive parent child relationship can prevent the adolescent from making mistakes that can affect them for the rest of their lives. What role do fathers play in their adolescent’s life? The relationship between a father and their child is sometimes overlooked as important. Researchers have concluded that this relationship is very important for the child to develop a positive image of self and healthier relationships with others. The relationships an adolescent has during those years will come and go, but the relationship with the parent is lasting. The father son relationship comes more natural for the father and can be seen as more important than his relationship with his daughter (Allgood, Beckert, and Peterson, 2012). Some researchers feel that each relationship with the father is equally important when dealing with self-image. Allgood et. al. (2012) says, the better the relationship the father has with his daughter, early on, the better image of self she will attain. Choices that the adolescent makes during these years could have lasting effects on their lives (Feldman, 2011). The healthier the relationship with the parents the better the choices an adolescent will make during this time.
There are many adolescents who live in one parent homes due to parents being divorced, separated, or one parent deceased. These adolescents tend to struggle more with having a positive image of self. The more amicable the parents are with one another after being divorced the better the chances of the adolescent developing a positive self-image Adolescents also are affected by parental discord prior to divorce with all the arguing that can go on and sometimes abuse (Felety, 2003). This causes the adolescent to stress about what is going on at home, which then causes stress at school. Stress is one of the main causes for adolescents to have a negative body-image and low self-esteem. Stress is something that adolescents will face a lot during these years and parents of unhappy marriages make it even more difficult (Murray et.al, 2011). The child who grows up in a single family home does not share as much negative stress as those who transition to it during their adolescent years. They have already been accustomed to not having two parents, but they sometimes wish they did during adolescent years. Single parent adolescents still have a greater risk of becoming delinquent, which is a direct result of poor negative image of self. The parent needs to recognize that the adolescent might seem alright with the situation, but internally trying to make sense of it (Waldfogel et. al, 2010).
The parent of single family homes has more challenges than most parents. They not only have the normal difficulties that come with raising children, but all the household and financial pressures of running a house. This can cause them to be more stressful and less patient with their adolescent. They are usually struggling with their own emotional issues and this makes it more difficult to be supportive of their adolescent’s emotional issues (Faltey 2003). Parents of single homes should develop a support system not only for their child, but for themselves. An absence of one gender in the home can have negative effects on the adolescent and their peer relationships. The most common situation in single family homes is the absence of a male adult in the family. Fathers who do not live with their children often become disinterested and detached from them (Waldfogel et. al, 2010). Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1989) did a study and found, “more than 60 percent of fathers either did not visit their children or had no contact with them for over a year” (Faltey 2003). An absence of a father or mother in a child’s life can have lasting effects on them, but do not always have to be negative ones.
Parents are also influential to their adolescent’s positive or negative development of self by how they directly or indirectly talk to them (Haines et al. 2008). Parents bring their childhood upbringings into how they raise their own child and this does not mean they had a positive example. Enten and Golan (2009) talk about Baumrinds three types of parenting styles which are, permissive, authoritarian and authoritative. Authoritarian parents put more pressure on the child and are more controlling. These parents can also be constantly critical of everything the child does and expects perfection from them. The permissive parent is not as controlling and sometimes to lax with the child. Authoritative parent finds the balance between setting boundaries for the child and being nurturing. Studies show that Authoritarian parents cause adolescents to have a poorer image of self than that of the other two. Parents need to recognize the parenting styles they have and try to find a healthy balance when raising their adolescent. The parent can inadvertently cause the child to develop a low image of self due to their parenting style (Enten and Golan, 2009).
Autonomy is what every adolescent strives for and can sometimes be resisted by the parent. The parent is not used to them having their own opinions and questioning their advice. This then has them doubting that the adolescent will make positive choices. This can lead to the parent becoming more authoritarian with the child (Felman, 2011). The adolescent will begin to rebel more if some freedom is not given. Authoritative parent “tend to view their role as a parent as more collaborative and guiding than the authoritarian parent, but still remain in a position of authority and do not attempt to be the child's friend” (Enten and Golan, 2009). The permissive parent plays more of the role of friend to the adolescent and does not create appropriate boundaries, which can lead to negative behaviors (Enten et. al. 2009). Research reveals that adolescents who grow up in an appearance-focused environment are more concerned with their appearance and tend to have a poor image of self (Kluck, 2010). Parents want their child to be healthy and not over weight, but they need to be careful not to be too consumed by this. The parent thinks they are encouraging the child by telling them what to eat and giving tips on diet and exercise. This can be interpreted by the adolescent that they are fat and can lead to a negative view of self. This can also lead to poor self-esteem and feelings of never being good enough (Markey, 2010). In a recent study reviewing parental influences on the body image and eating patterns of young women (Kluck, 2010) parental encouragement to control weight and size has even been revealed as the strongest predictor of body dissatisfaction. There has been evidence that parental encouragement to control weight and shape is the most common aspect of parental pressure perceived by girls and boys (Helfert & Warschburger, 2011). This then develops into a negative body image that can lead to eating disorder. Girls and boys can develop eating issues, but it is more prevalent in girls. Wikipedia states, it is the view of one’s own attractiveness and “Human society has at all times placed great value on beauty of the human body, but a person's perception of their own body may not correspond to society's standards.” Society and media have influenced adolescents on how they think they should look and usually this is unattainable by the average adolescent. This then can result in them trying to obtain the unrealistic body and can also lead to eating disorders and depression (Markey, 2010).
Parents who ignore problems or who are in denial of issues will cause their adolescent to begin to develop low self-esteem (Lian et. al 2009). They need to recognize the signs of their child having a negative image of self and help change it. These signs include, but are not limited to depression, social anxiety, adolescents making frequent negative remarks about their bodies, and drastic changes to appearance. There is the misconception that an adolescent who is overweight has a poor self-image and thin adolescents do not struggle with poor body image. Adolescents of all body shapes and sizes deal with low self-esteem and body image (Feldman, 2011). Eating disorders are one of the most common results of a negative body image and can have very dangerous outcomes for the adolescent beyond having a low image of self.
Parents can do things to help their adolescent have a more positive image of self and make better choices. Communication is a key component for a healthy adolescent parent relationship, which will help them have an enhanced image of self. Studies have shown adolescents with a poor image of self have a harder time communicating with their parents (Haleama et. al. 2009). Lian et. al (2009) emphasizes that parents who approach “problems realistically, honestly, and non-defensively produces favorable self-evaluative thoughts, which lead to the self-generated approval that raises self-esteem.” The adolescent needs to feel like they are being taken seriously and this in turn will help them feel positive about themselves (Hendel 2006). Adolescents also need to feel supported emotionally and socially by their parents. They want to be accepted by their peers and the conflicts they have with them need to be taken seriously (Sabbah et.al. 2009). The parent who listens first and talks when needed will have a better relationship with their adolescent.
An adolescent’s image of self relies heavily on perceptions, as mentioned earlier. This can affect the communication between them if the adolescent feels the parent does not care about them or what they are saying. They can misinterpret nonverbal cues and a parent’s lack of focus during a conversation. It is important for the parent to stop what they are doing and focus on the conversation or let the child know when a better time to talk would be. It is crucial for the parent not to forget to have the talk if put off until later, since the adolescent will perceive this as parent not caring about them (Hashimoto et. al. 2011). Adolescents tend to decrease communication with adults during this time, so it is critical that parents take the time to learn healthy communication skills. Frederick, Leong, Altmaier, and Johnson feel that, “Both the quality and the content of parent–adolescent communication serves as the framework upon which values and expectations are shared, information seeking and monitoring are influenced, and explanations and deeper understanding of behavior are obtained.” The more the adolescent can feel comfortable about talking to their parents with issues, the better image of self they will develop.
Parents also need to have quality time with their adolescent, to promote positive image of self, and this can be hard to do for many reasons. The adolescent is not as reliable on the parent as when they were a child. Parents are then able to work more and stay out later. The adolescent is also increasing the amount of activities they are doing, sports they are playing, and older adolescents are working themselves (Hendel 2006). The parents are being pulled one direction and their adolescents another. They both feel a sense of independence, but the parent needs to remember not to neglect time with the adolescent. The illusion of independence does not mean they do not want or need time with the family. Activities are great for the adolescent to have for positive peer relationships and accomplishment, but these things cannot take the place of time with parents. This is where the parent needs to create a balance of activities verses quality family time. It is during the quality time that the adolescent will share what is going on in their lives and the parent will positively influence them. The more time parents create for their child the better the image of self will be for them (Ashbourne and Daly, 2010).
Adolescents are watching parent’s behaviors very closely; therefore they need to be positive role models for them. The parent who drinks, smokes, and is unreliable will cause an adolescent to loose respect for them. This will in turn correlate to how they view themselves, which usually becomes negative. Parental relationship is built on trust and respect. An adolescent will do what they see not what they are told majority of the time. Parents also who have a negative view of themselves will hinder the adolescent from having a positive view of themselves. Adolescents are the most influential during these years and parents influence their thinking the most. Parents need to recognize that they set the bar for their adolescent’s development of self.
Lastly, something that can help parents boost their adolescent’s image of self is being affectionate. There are some parents who have a hard time with this and others who do not. The parents who are more affectionate give the adolescent a better sense of worth. A hug, kiss, holding of a hand, and just sitting near them can send positive messages to the adolescent. The affection parents show to one another is also part of helping create a better image of self for the child. This is one of the easiest things a parent can do for the child, yet often parents forget. Adolescents can tend to push parents away at times, but this should not stop the parents from trying again. They cannot take the things the child says and does to personally or they will unconsciously distant themselves from them. The more affectionate a parent is with the adolescent the more loved they will feel.
In conclusion adolescent’s years of development are not easy and can be detrimental to their futures. Parents who can promote healthy environments in single parent homes or two parent homes will help their adolescent tremendously. The adolescent is struggling to find their way in life and is overwhelmed with the pressures they are facing. Mothers and Fathers need to reach out not only to the same gendered children, but both genders. Parenting styles will differ in each home, but parents need to be aware of harmful styles of parenting. Parents who seek help or counseling before their child’s adolescent years tend to be a better help to their development. Quality time is something that will always be needed by the child no matter the age. Parents who can develop time management skills tend to find more time to spend with their child. Driving in the car with the child to and from places can be used as quality time. All the studies show that adolescents who have a better relationship with their parents, during these years, have a better image of self and make better life choices.

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