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Personal Narrative: My Greatest Obstacles

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My greatest obstacle is one I almost never discuss. I suffer from infertility, and my obstacle is a direct result. My husband and I have been trying to have a family since we married twelve years ago. In 2009, I underwent in vitro-fertalization and got pregnant. Consequently, we started out with triplets. Finding out early on that one embryo was not developing at the rate of the other two, and that we would most likely lose it, we prepared ourselves for that loss. However, we were woefully unprepared for my going into labor just shy of twenty weeks. The doctors never figured out what went wrong, but the loss of our son and daughter was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with; my obstacle. I had to give birth to my babies knowing full …show more content…
You don't get over losing babies. It's always a wound that's raw just under the hardened surface. I spent months making myself get up, get dressed, and get out of the house whether I wanted to or not. I forced myself to go through the daily tasks of just living. I made myself go visit my newborn niece, who had arrived a week after I gave birth. I even made myself attend a baby shower for a close friend, and then a funeral for a cousin. I hated every minute of it. I didn't want to be anywhere, I only wanted to be home with my husband, with no one else around. I wasn't asking, “Why me? Why my babies?” I didn't blame myself or God, or anyone else, and I wasn't angry with anyone or anything; I just did not want to be around people. When my sister, whom I'm not close with and who was afraid I was mad at her because she'd just had my niece, asked me how I was feeling, all I could say was, “It is, what it is. It just happened, and I can't change it.” She got angry with me because I wasn't reacting the way she wanted me to; apparently I was being too “Zen” for her taste. Part of me wanted to get angry, to blame someone or something, to lash out; but would good would that have done? None. It would do no one, including me, any good to be angry about it. Being angry was futile because there was no blame to be had, no one to be angry with, and no one was ever going to have an answer for me about why it

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