Discussion Week 11
#1
I found the Nature vs. Nurture topic interesting because I don’t believe the environment makes the person. We are all responsible for the choices we make. We can rise above our environment. In the case of the pedophile it can be nature or nurture. Some people are either not strong enough to rise above their environment or do not wish.
There are people who can’t do any better because they don’t know how and people who can’t do any better because they just don’t want to. I feel nurturing is apparent in the way people treat others, their mannerism and their decisions in life.
I also enjoyed the topic of language less thinking. I do think it is possible to communicate without language.
Consider facial expressions: •Happiness (sincere broad smile, raised cheeks, round eyes) •Anger (lowered eyebrow, tightly pursed lips, and intensive stare) •Surprise (wide open eyes, open mouth, raised eyebrows) •Fear (open mouth, round eyes, pale face) •Disgust (wrinkled nose, raised upper lip, lowered eyelids) •Sadness (lowered corners of mouth, sad eyes)
Touch and Eye Contact are also non-verbal means of communication. We also have to consider cave drawings or hydroliphic's. I feel sign language is also nonverbal even though it is based on verbal language.
Thru this course I have learned to be more aware of my thinking and feelings as well as their connection to each other. Emotions can make our thinking irrational:
Anger – Where anger appears, reason disappears. Anger not only clouds our perception of a situation and our ability to think clearly about it, anger has a severe influence on self-control. Instead of thinking rationally anger makes us strike out, hurt and destroy. The text offers ways to deal with anger. I have applied these to my daily life and they do help: 1. Do not vent – pick a time to talk when both parties are calm. 2. Get advice – don’t make angry decision 3. Become assertive – but do so in a non-aggressive, self-controlled manner. 4. Learn to relax – stress management. 5. Don’t get angry In Chapter 2 (Personal Barriers) we learned about stress. This is something I deal with every day. We also learned to identify stressors and the effects on us cognitively and physically. We also learned to how to manage them, more specifically identifying their source. After we have identified their source we can remove it. If we are unable to remove it, we can at least manage our response to it through relaxation tapes, meditation or exercise. Stress can rapidly remove the B complex vitamins our bodies need so I have added this to my vitamin regime. I’ve also started trying to schedule myself more appropriately. Through this course I have learned that I cannot be all things to all people. It is unattainable and should not be expected by myself or others. In Chapter 3 I finally learned to listen. I thought I was a good listener but I found out I was not an effective listener. We learned reasons to listen: 1. We know more. 2. Our decisions will be based on facts. 3. We will understand the speaker’s values and position better. 4. Our interpersonal skills are better. 5. Our responses carry greater effectiveness. 6. We remember how good it felt when we were listened to and give our speaker the same courtesy. 7. The speaker will in turn speak better. I have always been told that we learn more by listening than we do by speaking. We learned how to be effective listener by: 1. Listening to the speakers tone and the feeling behind their words. 2. Reading the speakers body language. 3. Using our memory. 4. Understanding the speaker’s needs, values, beliefs and goals. 5. Organizing what we have heard. 6. Paraphrasing the speaker’s words out loud. 7. Ask questions. 8. Summarize the others ideas. In Chapter 6 I was particularly struck by the section on writing. I love to write; sometimes it is the most effective way to get my feeling out. This would follow along with the Inspiration Method. I learned that I could artificially arouse these feeling before I start to writing. I also like the Recollection Method of writing. This is when we pick an experience that was emotionally moving and just start writing without worrying about what comes out. I like being able to just let the words flow out as opposed to the last method which is the Conscious Selection Method. In this method you start by picking an emotion, making a list of tangible, seeable words and consciously constricting phrases. In Chapter 11 we learned about persuasion and how to influence others to think, feel or see things the way we do. We can do this through: 1. “Likeability” (we like those who like us). 2. Purpose = If we have a purpose we can direct our persuasion. 3. Proof – (The Rational Appeal) facts, evidence or photos. We need to appear rational. 4. The Emotional Appeal - (The Root Element) our bias, needs and beliefs. When our appeals are stirred by emotion we get a far better response. We also need to know our audience and how much they know. We need to be aware of their needs and values to persuade them. We should follow the persuasive structure which is: 1. Establish credibility. 2. 2. Acknowledge the audiences position. 3. Construct our rational. 4. Transplant the Root Element or Emotional Appeal. 5. Ask for the response or a formal acceptance. I have tried this on friends and the technique works. I can always perfect it more and will continue to polish it.
In closing I have truly enjoyed the class there were some assignments I feel behind on but I have enjoyed interacting with my classmates and enjoyed their viewpoints on the subjects discussed. I have to admit going into this quarter I looked at the cover of the book and as I read the title of the course, “Thinking” I thought “This will be a breeze”. I found out there was a lot I didn’t know.
“Never judge a book by its cover”
#2
You’ve spent a whole quarter learning how to think more critically, and now it is time to reflect back over the course. Please respond to the following:

• Identify two (2) or three (3) key concepts or skills you have learned from this course that you think will be helpful to you in your current or future positions.

1. Fallacies: I learned how to identify a fallacy in a persuasive argument. This argument could be one that I am presenting or one that is being presented to me. I am very guilty of using the fallacy of pride to get someone on my side even though the comments I am making sometimes don’t have anything to do with what is being debated. An example would be when I am trying to coach an employee. I will say to them, “I know you care so much, I know you work so hard to do a great job”. I use this fallacy to get the person on my side and to get them to put less of an argument up against my concerns that I want to coach them on.

2. Language less thinking: I learned it is possible to think and communicate without words. This is accomplished by body language, location, and the situation present. For example, I may ask an employee to come to my office. I have already created tension before a conversation starts by creating a setting that is intimidating to an employee.

3. Self-evaluation of thinking: I learned it is important to be aware of one’s thoughts and the situation present. One must understand and leverage their emotions before speaking. Having verbal or written communication while under duress can cause problems by sending messages that should not be sent.

• Explain why you believe these concepts or skills will be beneficial to you.

I am able to recognize when a fallacy in my argument starts to occur. After completing this class I now understand to not get caught in this mode of thinking that may not be effective and may allow room for dissenting opinions to gain credibility against my views.

As discussed, I will think about my body language and location before having a conversation. In my personal life, if I ask my son to leave the room before talking to my wife, I realize I may be setting her up for a defensive stance. I will wait until my son is already not in hearing before having any tough conversations, such as when he is asleep.

Finally I will be aware of how I am thinking. I will recognize external bias and wait to have a conversation when that bias is neutralized. This is obtained by waiting to cool off or waiting for something that is bothering me emotionally to subside.