The Preacher's Priority: Protect His Family from the Peril of Pornography Pornography has long been a destructive element in our society but since the arrival of the Internet, it has grown to proportions that no one could ever have imagined. Unfortunately, it has infiltrated our churches through the lives of Christian men and women and it is clearly undermining the development of godly character and leadership. The human body has become an object of worship, a god in our society. In his book Sexual Healing: a Biblical Guide to Finding Freedom from Sexual Sin and Brokenness, David Kyle Foster is right when he says, “One of the greatest problems that we have in dealing with pornography is that we do not recognize that it is evil. We minimize, rationalize, and deny the truth behind it. We do not repent for being idol worshipers and grieving the heart of our God” (205). Pornography not only destroys the man but it is ruining marriages, families, and even churches. It has created such a stronghold on men within the body of Christ that many have become neutralized from being any kind of force for the kingdom of God. Ephesians 6: 12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (NASU). Pornography and sexual immorality are from the supreme ruler of darkness. It is one more device to draw men away from serving God. Pornography is not just a secular problem. It has infiltrated the church also. Unfortunate as it may be, Christian minister’s exposure for their involvement in pornography has resulted in severe consequences and has dealt a devastating blow to the witness of the church. The secret lifestyle it creates prevents men from fulfilling their full purpose for God and can only be exposed by the light of Jesus Christ. In his book Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time, Stephen Arterburn describes what life was like during his own battle with lust and pornography. He writes, “I was paying the price, and the bills were piling up. First I could not look God in the eye. I could never fully worship Him. Because I

dreamed of being with other women, I knew I was a hypocrite, and I continued feeling distant from God” (18). To gain a proper perspective on the reality of this pandemic, ministers must first examine the current statistics of pornography. The statistics of pornography today are staggering and warrant attention on the part of the church. Sadly, pornography’s effect on the family has, too, dealt a serious blow to the sanctity of the marriage covenant. Pornography has long been a major contributor in destroying fidelity within the covenant of marriage. The only solution is mounting a biblical defense that will provide a defense against this trap. All ministers must have a battle plan in place to stay victorious in this battle. It is imperative that in the sex crazed culture of today, the minister must protect himself and his family from the devastation that can come if he should fall prey to pornography. Pornography is a cancer in our society that has reached terminal status. A look at the statistics of pornography will reveal the prevalence of this pandemic in society. According to Top Ten Review, an Internet website that reports reviews on Internet Filter comparisons, statistics show that worldwide pornography revenues for 2006 totaled $97.06 billion. The worldwide revenue generated from pornography is larger than combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises. In the United States alone, revenues generated from pornography totaled $13.3 billion, up from $12.6 billion in 2005 (Ropelato). According to these reports the pornography industry worldwide is larger than the revenues of the top technology companies combined: Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix and EarthLink. In the United States US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC. If one were to do World Wide Web search on pornography, just typing in the word gives a results of 19,300,000 hits. These figures are astounding and the church must realize the very real threat these statistics pose on men trying to serve God. In his book True Sexual Morality: Recovering Biblical Standards for a Culture in Crisis, David Heimbach affirms,

“Pornography in print, celluloid, and electronic forms is exploding, and what shocked our parents is considered standard for entertainment and advertising today” (30). Heimbach details one particular event in America’s history that illustrates just how tolerant its citizen’s have become toward lowering of sexual morals. That event was the scandal surrounding former President Bill Clinton. In 1999 President Clinton had engaged in immoral sexual acts with a White House intern named Monica Lewinsky. The nation was shocked and refused to believe what they heard. Sadly, what happened turned out to be true but Clinton never resigned from office (30). After the initial shock, most people had decided what he had done was not all that important. In fact, most people became convinced that it was not his immorality that was shocking, but their reaction to it was wrong (30). Heimbach reaffirms, “While Clinton’s self-justification and refusal to resign affected many, it was in reality a small part of something much larger. Sexual morality in America has been changing dramatically for decades, and what some called the Clinton Factor was itself more a symptom than a cause” (30). While not directly related to pornography per se, the Clinton scandal involved sexual immorality. The unethical way in which it was handled lowered the bar on the sexual standard in America. Most disturbing are the results from a confidential survey conducted by Patrick Means and published in his book, Men’s Secret Wars. This study confirmed that 64 percent of the evangelical pastors and lay leaders surveyed struggled with sexual addiction, which included pornography and other secret sexual activity (Means 78). Pornography is now considered chic and acceptable. With the increase in exposure and availability of pornography through print, Internet, and television, ministers must acknowledge the pandemic if they are to stay faithful to God, the church, and their families. We are fallen creatures, and even as Christians our redemption is not yet completed. We must still deal with the fact that we will confront desires which are attractive to us by virtue of the fact that they are prohibited by God.

The explosion of pornography throughout society represents a mounting threat to the family that cannot be ignored. Pornography communicates dangerous messages about sex and the value of human beings that are destructive to the ability of men and women to form and maintain healthy relationships. It also puts every man, woman and child at risk for sexual addiction and sexual violence. In An Affair of the Mind, Laurie Hall recounts how her husband's addiction to pornography devastated their family. The son of missionaries, her husband Jack had secret obsession with pornography that began in college with soft-core magazines and escalated to watching X-rated movies, going to strip clubs, and eventually hiring prostitutes to act out his pornography-induced fantasies (16-21). Throughout their marriage, Jack was emotionally and mentally distant, frequently absent, and neglectful of his wife and kids. By the time Hall discovered why, they were thousands of dollars in debt, and she was faced with the possibility that Jack had exposed them both to AIDS (3-8). In a letter to her husband, Laurie wrote, “I don't understand why you won't let go of the pornography and the hookers. How could you choose them over the children? How could you choose them over me? You were all I ever wanted. How come I wasn't enough for you?” (49). It is painfully obvious through this and many other stories of shattered marriages that the effects of pornography on the family are devastating. Many of the problems that couples face in regards to intimacy, self-esteem, sexual expectations, and sexual fulfillment can be directly traced to involvement in pornography. The availability is endless, and the results of continued use and exposure are devastating. The biblical requirement with regard to marriage is very plain. Exodus 20: 14 says, “You shall not commit adultery" (NASU). A husband who wants his home to be built on a biblical foundation must be very clear about the nature and requirement of this commandment. Obedience to God’s sexual law is very important. The minister needs to understand the motives to purity which God sets down in His word. The biblical standard of sexual morality and purity is

not difficult to understand. Job describes adultery as “a lustful crime” and “iniquity punishable by judges” (31:11, NASU). Jesus makes it plain that married men are to be absolutely faithful, mentally and physically. His words on the subject are well known. In Matthew 5: 27-28 Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (NASU). According to Jesus, adultery is not something that requires a physical act. It is something that also occurs in the mind. Pornography introduces an outside person in the man-woman marital relationship ordained by God. The minister must never think that mental adultery is something out there in the world that he is exempt from. Peter begs Christians to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul (1 Peter 2: 11). Paul tells Christians to put to death their members which are on the earth, and listed among those members are fornication and evil desire (Col 3: 5). If a minister exposes himself to the filth of pornography he is setting himself up for ultimate failure. Involvement in pornography ultimately chips away at the very foundation of the union between a husband and wife. Ultimately the minister will look at his wife and say, “Why can’t she look like that centerfold model?” This is the problem that pornography creates for the minister and his wife. It creates unrealistic expectations of the spouse and sex. In The War Within: Gaining Victory in the Battle for Sexual Purity, author Robert Daniels says, There are few dangers to the sanctity of this divinely ordained institution (marriage) that exceed the threat of pornography. It is here that the holy communion of a sexual relationship between a husband and wife is trivialized. Pornography attacks the concepts of love, affection, contentment, and fidelity. In fact it despised them, and it literally teaches contempt for the very glue that holds the marriage and family together. There is no longer any connection between sex and families, between sex and love, between sex and commitment (156).

Continued involvement with pornography will ultimately destroy the minister and his family. The impact of involvement in pornography on his children has equally distressing results.

Adverse consequences include potential exposure to computer-based pornography, involvement in parental conflicts, lack of attention due to preoccupation with the computer (Carnes, 181). Pornography is a sin designed to draw men away from God, entrapping them in the slavery of their own desires. Over time, pornography will become addictive and intensify, drawing the minister into deeper and darker depths of depravity. God created men and women in His image (Gen. 1:27) as sexual beings. But because of sin in the world (Rom. 3:23), sex has been misused and abused (Rom. 1:24-25). Pornography attacks the dignity of men and women created in the image of God. Pornography also distorts God's gift of sex which should be shared only within the bounds of marriage (1 Cor. 7:2-3). Ministers must realize that pornography can have significant harmful effects on the user. These include: a comparison mentality, a performance-based sexuality, a feeling that only forbidden things are sexually satisfying, increased guilt, decreased self concept, and obsessional thinking (Gallagher 83-86). Ministers, therefore, must do several things. First, they must work to keep themselves pure by fleeing immorality (1 Cor. 6:18) and thinking on those things which are pure (Phil. 4:8). As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Prov. 23:7). The minister must make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). Pornography will fuel the sexual desire in abnormal ways and can eventually lead to even more debase perversion. He, therefore, must "abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul" (1 Peter 2:11, NASU). Second, ministers we must evaluate their exposure to media (magazines, TV shows, rock music) with inappropriate sexual themes (Arterburn 126). Ministers should warn their congregations about the dangers of pornography and instruct them in a proper view of sexuality. Like Joseph in the Old Testament, we should flee immorality which can lead us into sin. Messages should also be given to build a strong Christian home. Every minister of Christ must have a battle plan in place if he intends to thwart the efforts

of Satan to derail his ministry at all costs. The first duty of the minister is to know the word of
God. Titus 2: 11-12 says, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age” (NASU). As God’s word makes its imprint in the mind, it teaches us how to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts. This means learning that they must give themselves to learn what the Bible teaches about the grace of God in Christ. Learning the gospel and growing in the grace of the gospel means much more than nodding at the appropriate places at some modern, watered down version of what is thought to be the gospel. The gospel is more than “receive Jesus into your heart.” Given the version of the gospel peddled in much of modern evangelicalism, it is not surprising that the church has not learned to deny much of anything. Related to this, he must learn what the Bible teaches about sanctification, particularly the relationship between the Spirit of God within him and the remaining lusts that dwell their also. The relationship is one of war. In Galatians 5:16-17 Paul says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please” (NASU). This is the main reason ministers (and Christians) are frustrated in their desire for personal holiness. The answer is this war between the flesh and the Spirit. Third, he must realize the value of discipline and suffering. Usually someone who is lazy and self-indulgent in other areas will find it much easier to be lazy and self-indulgent in the area of sexual purity. Peter says, “Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries” (1 Pet. 4:1-3, NASU). Peter plainly says that suffering in the body for the sake of Christ is an effective weapon against lust. Self-control learned in one area transfers to another. An effective accountability partner is important in the fight to stay sexually pure. Some men frown at the thought of accountability. The purpose of accountability is nothing less than to each day become more Christ like in all our ways and imitate him in all that we say and do
(Morley 337). The more weapons that the minister has in the battle of the flesh, the more victorious he will be in the war. Societal standards and traditional values have declined. Over the latter half of the twentieth century, the forces of moral relativism have gradually destroyed the foundation of the church, the minister, and the family. Instead of adopting stronger moral standards, our society has embraced the lure of personal fulfillment. The mainstream acceptance of pornography has become a social fact. Faith and family have been replaced with a warped image of sex and self-fulfillment that ridicules the concept of purity and mangles the most sacred ideals of matrimony. Unless the minister faces this reality head on and develops his own awareness of the situation, he sets himself up to become casualty. Pornography on the Internet is out of control and countless men are trapped, even at the risk of losing all they hold dear. A godly man is one who rise above this sickness that has infiltrated the walls of churches and hold himself accountable to someone he can trust. He will flee youthful lust, hold fast to God's word and follow the Lord Jesus Christ. The writer of the Hebrew letters says, "Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (NASU).

Bibliography

Arterburn, Stephen, Fred Stoeker, and Mike Yorkey. Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time. Colorado Springs: Waterbrook, 2000.
Carnes, Patrick, David L. Delmonico, and Elizabeth Griffin. In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulive Online Sexual Behavior. Center City: Hazelden, 2001.
Daniels, Robert. The War Within: Gaining Victory in the Battle for Sexual Purity. Wheaton: Crossway, 1997.
Foster, David Kyle. Sexual Healing: A Biblical Guide to Finding Freedom From Sexual Sin and Brokenness. Ventura: Regal, 2005.
Gallagher, Steve. At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. Dry Ridge: Pure Life Ministries, 2000.
Hall, Laurie. An Affair of the Mind. Wheaton: Tyndale, 1996.
Heimbach, Daniel R. True Sexual Morality: Recovering Biblical Standards for a Culture in Crisis. Wheaton: Crossway, 2004.
Means, Patrick. Men’s Secret Wars. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1999.
Morley, Patrick. The Man in the Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1997.
New American Standard Bible – Updated (NASU). Kenneth Barker, gen. ed. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1999.
Ropelato, Jerry. Pornography Statistics of 2007. 2007. 13 April 2007. http://www.toptenreview.com/.