Pastoral Counseling Reflection Paper
Joyce Gerald
Liberty University

Table of Contents Abstract 3 Rationale for Class Enrollment 4 Handling Anger with Online Clients 5 Is it Easier to Label than Support? 6 The Hardest Thing to Counsel an Individual about is Forgiveness 7 Conclusion 9 References 11

Abstract
The author presents a reflection on the class content presented during the first week of PACO 500:BO1. The author has limited pastoral counseling experiences that stem from an online ministry. The majority of the counseling experiences are conducted online view confidential instant messaging and or a closed prayer group. The construct of pastoral care through the medium of counseling is an area of interest that warrants further study and research. The support materials presented through class lectures have afforded the author a clinical and biblical viewpoint of pastoral counseling. The processes and methodologies presented in the readings infer that all person who are in need of counseling benefit from the materials presented in this class. The lecture notes and online resources provided for pastoral care fledglings under pines the foundation that is being laid for effective pastoral counseling. The readings for week one are the main focus of this reflection.

Rationale for Class Enrollment Being the leader of an online ministry is a daunting task at best. However, providing the type of care, counseling, and communication within this venue is even more challenging than face to face counseling. Hawkins (2015) presented seven guided principles to remember in the counseling process that immediately clarified the biblical viewpoint of pastoral counseling. This paved the way for understanding the importance of communication.
Christian counselors, and the counselee, bring their life experiences to the communication table. These experiences can impact the counseling session positively or negatively. According to Petersen (2007),
We never ate a holiday dinner with fewer than twenty people. We jockeyed for attention, teased and sparred, argued, and protected ourselves with “friendly sarcasm.” Most of us talked better than we listened, though we appreciated each other and would defend the family against any outside criticism. (p. 5).
This statement resonated with the author because that was how her family was at dinner time. If we had guests for dinner it was the same thing. However, eye to eye contact clarified for the guests how much the family members loved and cared for each other. Listening with one’s eyes requires concentration. Eye contact is not possible in an online environment.
The author’s numerous experiences with leadership styles and personality traits fostered an understanding of how to communicate online. The question this writer asked herself on numerous occasions was, “Is this the individual’s ‘temperament of human behavior’ in print or is this an online persona (Carbonell, 2008, Chapter 1, Section 2.)? That was especially true when attempting to diffuse a situation that resulted because of a reaction to anger.
Handling Anger with Online Clients From the standpoint of the online ministry, this writer has learned that human beings bring all of their life experiences to the table when they are being counseled. They also bring their coping mechanisms with them. Facebook is an environment where anger resonates; tempers flare, and dramatic outbursts are common. This milieu makes teaching people how to handle their anger in a Godly manner a challenge. Clinton and Hawkins (2009) proffered some poignant thoughts on anger management,
Anger is a God-given powerful emotion (see Eph. 4: 26) with intensity that ranges from being frustrated to severe fury. It can last from a few seconds to a lifetime. Anger itself is not a sin. What we do in our anger determines whether we sin. Anger is best understood as a state of readiness. It is a natural response to a real or perceived injustice, and it inspires a powerful alertness that allows us to defend good or attack evil. Even Jesus showed anger (see Mark 3: 5). Anger is mentioned more than five hundred times in Scripture; the only emotion in the Bible more common than anger is love. Anger first appears in Genesis 4: 5 and last appears in Revelation 19: 15. Anger can lead to healthy or unhealthy/ sinful behavior. Careful assertiveness is a healthy response to anger that involves problem-solving and compassion. Aggression is an unhealthy, sinful response to anger that involves hurting or controlling others, revenge, or hatred. Anger, when it is an automatic response to a situation, is considered a primary emotion. Anger can also be a secondary emotion, meaning it is felt in reaction to another feeling, such as fear, hurt, or sadness (Anger Chapter, Section 2 Definitions and key thoughts).
Clinton and Hawkins (2009) presented questioning techniques for anger management that were clear and succinct (Anger Chapter, Section 3 General questions). The realization that the writer was using some of these questions left her with a sense of empowerment. There is still a lot to learn about anger management. This writer is prepared for the task at hand.
Is it Easier to Label than Support?
The Welcome to PACO 500 (n. d.) indicated that the course will provide the tools needed to develop the author’s areas of strengths. Over the years, this writer has counseled with numerous persons who present the list of their diagnosis as if it were a badge of honor (Clinton and Hawkins, 2009). However, the intensity of their unhappiness is evident in how they describe their daily lives. This writer is not a pastor, but she does have an online ministry. The ministry spends a large part of its time praying for and with people. The team also speaks an inordinate amount of time talking to people about their emotional problems. Johnson and Johnson (2014) quantified the amount of time that pastors spent counseling their parishioners,
Regardless of how much a minister does or does not enjoy helping church members with emotional problems, survey data suggest that when people experience distress, 40 percent go to their clergyperson first. 3 As a result, the average pastor reports spending between 10 percent and 46 percent of his or her time counseling. Unlike healthcare professionals, clergy cannot simply refer— at least not at first— a suffering parishioner (Chapter 1 Why a minister’s guide pp 3).
Members of the ministry team believe that they cannot simply refer the counselee to a professional counselor. They come to the team when they have tried everything including their local pastors. Persons providing pastoral care in a world “. . . . of human frailty and an often [considered] insane world” need a quick reference guide to identify the condition referenced by the counselee. Then they can proceed with a knowledge base that correlates what they are hearing with research and combine that knowledge with the word of God. Application of this construct produces a solution. Koller (2011) explored and detailed a process for solution based focus to counseling. His approach is the opposite of the clinical approach to counseling. It was eye opening to compare and contrast the labels and the focus on the problem rather than the solution that the author presented (Koller, 2011). All of the books presented in this week’s reading have bridged a gap in the thought process of this writer or clarified a point of interest or concern. The last area addressed in this paper is the area of forgiveness. It is a construct that is extremely difficult for angry, hurt, and disillusioned individuals to grasp. Unfortunately, without it complete healing does not take place.
The Hardest Thing to Counsel an Individual about is Forgiveness This writer learned why it was so hard to counsel an individual in the area of forgiveness. They are so “stuck” in their past and the cause of their pain that they cannot see a solution in their future, even a solution presented in God’s word (Koller, 2011). A Christian’s character is being formed as God sculpts it. The best methodology for a counselor to use in easing the emotional pain is finding a solution for the cause of the problem. The reference guide helps pastoral caregivers to understand the neurosis or psychosis of the counselee. Then we can help them to reach a solution for their concerns and move on to the forgiveness that will free them from their burdens (Johnson and Johnson, 2014, Chapter 1, pp 6). This fledgling pastoral caregiver has ascertained that within the counter culture of the church, where grace and forgiveness are the cornerstones of our belief system, forgiveness should be the easiest thing to acquire. However, that is not always the case. According to Koller 2011,
Christianity is in its truest sense a counterculture. That is, it is its own world—the entrance of the kingdom of God on earth, with all church leadership being in submission to Jesus Christ. It has its own mores and ethics, its own definition of value and success, its own community and support systems, even its own music and literature. Many within the church have become accustomed to going outside of this counterculture to obtain business opportunities, as well as education and medical care for their children. As the church becomes more acclimated to the present secular culture, some may also look within it for their entertainment and identity needs. The more Christians are at home in this present culture, the more they adopt its values and definitions of success (Koller, 2011, Chapter 3. Counter Culture section).
The culture outside of the church does not operate from the premise of forgiving wrongs to heal emotional turmoil. This misperception of forgiveness occurs because human beings do not comprehend what forgiveness is and or is not (Clinton and Hawkins, 2009, Forgiveness, Section 2). The case study from Crossroads heightened the need for forgiveness (n.d. Week 1: A case study on crossroads). It also presented a conundrum in that while absolute forgiveness occurred in one sense a solution for the imbalance in the familial relationships was not acquired, and the emotional needs of a family member were not met. (n.d. Week 1: A case study on Crossroads). This case study in forgiveness negated the connections between “head, heart, and stomach” that Petersen (2007) explained. According to Peterson,
Language that communicates best, that is, connects us with others at a deeper level, includes elements of all three – our views (head), how we feel about them (stomach), and openness to another’s concerns (heart). The words “our” and “how we feel” also indicate openness (heart).* As we come to understand how important openness to others is and the difference between thinking and feeling, we can use that information to improve our interactions with each other. We can share safely in a way that accepts people. Let’s now look further at how communication works (pp. 16-17).
As this student of pastoral care masters the counseling process for healthy forgiveness, helping others reach internal peace through forgiveness will become easier. PACO 500 has all the supports in place to foster the development of those skills.
Conclusion
Pastoral counseling is not an art form. It is mastering how to communicate with counselees effectively. It is acquiring the skills needed to use the solution based process of problem-solving to lead counselees to acquire inner peace. It is a construct that requires understanding that people have similar emotional needs. The guiding principles of this class heightened this student's awareness of how to apply the class assignments to real-world experiences. They also resonated with correlating acquired knowledge to the practical application and use of the resources to help their Christian brothers and sister find a resolution for their emotional needs. Understanding the constructs being presented by the medical profession bolstered this pastoral care giver’s ability to serve their counselees effectively. This course has open a door for this writer that did not exist before. The readings have installed a sense of relief, and a yearning for more knowledge resides in the heart of this pastoral caregiver.

References
Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding personality patterns[Kindle edition]. Retrieved from Amazon.com.
Clinton, T. E., & Hawkins, R. E. (2009). The quick-reference guide to biblical counseling: Personal and emotional issues[Kindle edition]. Retrieved from Amazon.Com.
Hawkins, Ron. (2015). Week 1: Guiding principles for pastoral counselors [Html]. Retrieved from Liberty University PACO 500:BO1 Blackboard:http://blackboard.liberty.edu.
Johnson, W. B., & Johnson, W. L. (2014). The minister's guide to psychological disorders and treatments[Kindle edition] (2nd ed.). Retrieved from Amazon.com.
Kollar, C. A. (2011). Solution-focused pastoral counseling[Kindle Edition] (2nd ed.). Retrieved from Amazon.com.
Petersen, J. (2007). Why don't we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships[Kindle Edition]. Retrieved from Amazon.com
(n.d.) Week 1: Welcome to PACO 500[Html]. Retrieved from Liberty University PACO 500:BO1 Blackboard: http://blackboard.liberty.edu.
(n.d.) Week 1: A case study on crossroads: A story of forgiveness prepared to support the central learning activities in PACO 500: Introduction to pastoral counseling [Document]. Retrieved from Liberty University PACO 500:BO1 Blackboard:http://blackboard.liberty.edu.

Pastoral Counseling Reflection Paper Grading Rubric Element | Criteria | Excellent:Satisfies criteria w/ excellent work | Good:Satisfies criteria | Average:Satisfies most criteria | Poor:Does not satisfy criteria | PointsEarned | Instructor’s Comments | Introduction | * There is a clear thesis statement. The topic is identified. * The introduction provides a clear overview of the paper’s contents. | 4–5 pts. | 3 pts. | 2 pts. | 0–1 pts. | | | Structure | * There are clear transitions between paragraphs and sections. * The treatment of the topic has sufficient organizational clarity and logical flow. * Assertions are properly supported by evidence | 9–10 pts. | 8 pts. | 7 pts. | 0–6 pts. | | | Content | * The major questions in the assignment document are thoroughly addressed. * The paper meets the page length requirement. | 21–25 pts. | 16–20 pts. | 11–15 pts. | 0–10 pts. | | | Conclusion | * The conclusion offers a good summary of issues treated in the paper and offers practical application. | 9–10 pts. | 8 pts. | 7 pts. | 0–6 pts. | | | Materials/Sources | * Paper meets the reference number requirement. * Materials are properly cited and quoted. * Quotations are relevant to the topic. * The references page reflects all sources cited. Required sources are used. | 9–10 pts. | 8 pts. | 7 pts. | 0–6 pts. | | | Style | * The paper properly uses current APA. It has the correct file name, cover sheet, abstract, and table of contents. Proper headings, in-text citations, and references are used. Rubric is pasted on the last page. * The paper reflects a graduate level of vocabulary. * The paper is without spelling and grammar errors. | 14–15 pts. | 11–13 pts. | 6–10 pts. | 0–5 pts. | | | Total: | Out of 75 pts. | |