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|Student Number |31848254 |
|Surname |Hogan |
|Given name |Tonia |
|Email |thogan@au.westfield.com |
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|Unit Code |SSK12 |
|Unit name |Introduction to University Learning |
|Date |31 March 2012 |
|Assignment name |Essay 1 |
|Tutor |Kersti Niilus |

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Assessment Sheet - For Tutor’s Comments Only

|Student Name: |Tonia Hogan |
|Tutor Name: |Kersti Niilus |Date: |14 April 2012 |

|1 |Task Fulfillment |Yes/No |
| |Does the essay answer the topic and/or directly refer to the topic? |Yes |
|Additional Comments: |
|The essay demonstrates a sound understanding of the concept of ‘world views.’ However, parts of the essay provided autobiographical |
|details without sufficient critical analysis of how these factors contributed to your present beliefs about education. |

|2 |Structure |Yes/No |
|Does the essay: |
| |Contain an effective and structured introduction and conclusion? |Sort of |
| |Contain a statement of thesis? |Yes |
| |Contain reasons or details supporting the thesis? |Yes |
| |Develop in an organized and logical way? |Yes |
|Additional Comments: |
|Try to provide more specific details of the key points discussed in the essay in both the introduction and conclusion. In short |
|essays such as this, ensure the essay and conclusion are single paragraphs. |

|3 |Content and Research |Yes/No |
|Does the essay: |
| |Focus on several factors and show their interaction? |Yes |
| |Define the key terms or concepts adequately using readings? |Yes |
| |Relate the key terms, concepts and readings to personal experiences? |Yes |
|Additional Comments: |
|The essay has made good use of the required sources. |

|4 |Writing Style and Presentation |Yes/No |
|Is the writing: |
| |Fluent (correct grammar, spell-checked and correctly punctuated)? |Yes |
| |Correctly structured (paragraphing, topic sentences and flow of ideas)? |Mostly |
| |Correctly referenced in Chicago style (‘in-text’ referencing and reference list)? |Yes |
|Additional Comments: |
| |
|The essay paragraph structure needs a little work. Each paragraph requires a clear topic sentence – like a thesis statement except |
|for the paragraph. The topic sentence should relate to the essay thesis or one of the key points mentioned in the introduction. The |
|rest of the paragraph should support the claim made in the topic sentence by the use of references and examples. If the essay |
|introduces a different subject or topic, a fresh paragraph is required. |
| |

Overall Comment

Tonia,

Thank you for your first essay. Writing your first essay can be a daunting task. I think you have the ability to write well at this level but you need to ensure the essay only addresses information essential to answering the essay question. It is also important to explain each claim made in the essay and to keep reminding the reader how the essay discussion relates to the essay question. Essay structure is critical in effective communication and I am confident that if you work on this your next essay will be of a high standard.

Well done!

Kersti Niilus

|Grade: |
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| |
|C |
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Murdoch University

SSK12 Introduction to University Learning

Tonia Hogan

Essay 1 topic:

Using the concept of a 'world view', identify some of the beliefs and attitudes, particularly to education and learning that you bring to your learning now.
Reflect critically on how your worldview has been shaped by factors such as your gender, age or community.
In your answer refer to Hobson (1996) and Samovar and Porter (2004) from the SSK12 Reader, and Chapter 1 in A Guide to Learning Independently (Marshall and Rowland, 2006, 1-18).

In this essay I will argue that in my world view higher education has always been vital in achieving financial security.

The key points I will be discussing to prove this claim will include my parents death, my resulting financial struggles and my sister as a positive example.

When I contextualise myself through the world view as described by Julia Hobson “as the primary conceptual framework within which our beliefs, values and attitudes about ourselves and others rest” (Hobson 1996). I am a single, female, agnostic, childless, 40 year old white collar worker born to blue collar parents.

I was born to a stay-at-home mother and an illiterate self-employed father in a small NSW town in 1972. My mother like many of the women of her time worked in a factory till she married and then she became a housewife. She supported my father by doing the books for his plastering business and ran the home. My father worked hard physically to support his family to the detriment of his own health as he had no other skills to draw upon. His education had stopped in year 7 when his father died and he had to work to provide for his mother and siblings.

My mother died when I was 11 and my father when I was 13. From that time my sister, 16 at the time and myself lived in our family home on our own where we continued to attend school. My parents died intestate and as such we were unable to sell our home till I was legally of age putting a huge financial pressure on us. I was too young to work but my sister began working at a chicken farm while attending university. I was well aware during that time that I could do nothing to assist us financially. The best I could do was get an education so that unlike my father I could have options in the future.

As noted by Samovar and Porter (2004, 85) a “world view is an inside view of the way things are colored, shaped, and arranged according to personal cultural preconceptions”. To me higher education in the eighties was for those who had specific career aspirations in mind. For others like myself you either attended a trade college or began work. There was no online learning, there was no cheap way to study. I had a home I could not sell till I was 18 but I was unable to receive Austudy as the government recognised that home as an asset.

While as noted in A guide to learning independentlyA Guide to Learning Independently, “this has changed, and university communities have become more varied. There has been an influx of students from overseas and tertiary study now attracts students from diverse backgrounds, including mature-age people” (Marshall & Rowland 2006, 10). At at that time these advances had not occurred. There was notrue flexibility with learning and to attend university you must have finished years 11 and 12.

I knew that I would not be financially able to continue studying so I looked at the differences I could see between the blue and white collar world. The most obvious was the spoken word. My father was typical of the working men of that time. He worked hard, drank hard and all his friends were the same. There was a programme on television at the time called To the manor bornTo the Manor Born and I began mimicking the way the main character spoke. Through this I was able to affect a highly professional manner and while I did not have the education necessary for certain roles I sounded as though I did.

I began work and though I have succeeded in improving myself and my financial position, my future financial security is hampered by competing with the new generation of employees that have a degree. Commensurate work experience is not seen as a reliable substitute for education. I have witnessed this during my professional life that when put side by side an employer will choose the employee with the degree over the one without.

While hiring for a position within my own team the human resources department did the first sweep for candidates prior to providing them to me. I noted that all the candidates had degrees. I asked the HR department to also provide me the ones that didn’t have higher education. Though the numbers were far smaller there were several who I wanted to interview regardless of their educational experience. At the end of this process there were two candidates in contention and my boss reviewed both without meeting with them and chose the one with a university degree. When I asked why, without meeting them he felt that that one was more suited he said that while he believed both would succeed he felt more comfortable going with the one with a degree, that it added an additional level of insurance.

I have always looked up to my sister. Her childhood ended at 16 and she became the sole provider to a teenager but she worked extremely hard to achieve a level of security for herself. My sister completed her first degree part-time while working and since then has completed two more degrees. She has travelled, lived overseas, started a family and through it all her education has lead her to more personally and financially fulfilling roles. With the ability to study online at my own pace I can now compete with the new generation and secure myself a successful financial future.

In this essay I have argued that in my world view higher education has always been vital in achieving financial security. To illustrate my arguments I have referenced the real-life impact my fathers and my own lack of education has had on financial prosperity.
REFERENCES

Hobson, Julia. 1996. Concepts of the self: Different ways of knowing about the self. SSK12 lecture transcript. Ed. Lorraine Marshall. Perth: Murdoch University.

Marshall, L., and Frances Rowland. 2006. A guide to learning independently. 4th ed. NSW: Pearson Education Australia.

Samovar, Larry A., and Richard E. Porter. 2004. Communication Between Cultures. 5th ed. Belmont, California: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning. Worldviews, 85-86.