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That One Speech

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Submitted By atlandrum
Words 561
Pages 3
Overview

They don’t have a chance this debate, dropping too many arguments in the 2NR means you’re up the creek without a paddle. You all are leaving this room blessed by the mighty Lord because you’re about to hear the greatest 2AR of your life. This debate is more one sided then campers vs. RA dodgeball. I would have said “good 2NR” but I’m pretty sure my cat could have coughed up a better speech than that. I’m about to extend all arguments you dropped and when you hear it your jaw will drop too. It’s fortunate that I’m giving the 2AR ‘cause someone needs to teach you some manners because you had the gall to step into this room without first bowing down. I’m about to pick up the ballot myself and sign it aff because I’ve floxinoxinihilipilificated their speech.

Now on to the line by line

They say that capitalism is bad because it destroys value to life, but this argument is terrible and makes no sense. First, our card is way better so I’m not sure why they bothered reading it instead of just forfeiting the round. Second, you and your author are just throwing yourselves a little pity party, crying about all your problems and you won’t just leave us the heck alone. Third, Capitalism is obviously good in one instance because I could have paid a 3 year old to come up with a better speech.

K now go back to the overview, extend the fact that this 2AR is way better and that they’ll lose this debate.

Now go to the K, it’s so stupid and doesn’t do the aff so it obviously can’t solve anything. And they conceded that multiple perms are good so we win on that. Therefore we win because I’m sure there’s one perm that solves this stupid K. Also they conceded topicality so they should lose because we’re T.

K now go to the case… extend our impacts cause or… otherwise we’ll all die. Do you want to die? I sure don’t.

Alright now back to the K

Now for our card we read. This card is way better than yours. If cards were watches this would one would be a Rolex. Extend our Willis, Nakamura, Lee, Stephaney Meyers, Preston, Peter, Gilley, Soap Ayodeji Cole Bender Fender Bender card. Our card by Willis, Nakamura, Lee, Stephaney Meyers, Preston, Gusterson, Soap Ayodeji, Cole Bender Fender Bender the best in the round because Willis, Nakamura, Lee, Stephaney Meyers, Preston, Gusterson, Soap Ayodeji, Cole Bender Fender Bender actually wrote their article instead of slapping a keyboard to see what comes out. Willis, Nakamura, Lee, Stephaney Meyers, Preston, Gusterson, Soap Ayodeji, Cole Bender Fender Bender are the biggest experts because they all are literate and wrote an article about Capitalism that’s way cooler than anything you read in this round.

Now in conclusion judge you don’t vote on their stack of garbage they call evidence or that dump truck of a speech it was delivered in. You vote aff because our Willis, Nakamura, Lee, Stephaney Meyers, Preston, Gusterson, Soap Ayodeji Cole Bender Fender Bender, evidence has the best qualifications, the best warrants, and the smartest authors. And if you don’t vote on Willis, Nakamura, Lee, Stephaney Meyers, Preston, Gusterson, Soap Ayodeji, Cole Bender Fender Bender, then you’re probably just too stupid to understand it.

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