The Effects Of Divorce On Children

Mohamet Thiam
Western Governors University
WGU Student ID# 000204437

The Effects Of divorce On Children
The society in general has a better view of divorce now days. According to Jolivet in one of her recent articles in 2011, if you compare the view of society about divorce in the 1950s when women who divorced were stigmatized and today when half of the marriage end in divorce, the view of society about divorce has truly evolved. The rapid societal changes and economic development have contributed to the rise of women at almost the same level as men for professional occupations and to a higher social status with growing women’s rights. The National Center for Health Statistics has estimated in 2011 that between 850,000 and 950,000 couples divorces every year and more than half of divorcing couples have at least one children. In light of the alarming number of children involved in divorce, many studies have been conducted to shed some light on the possible effects on children. In the United States in particular, there are thousands of studies related to the many impacts of divorce on children well being. Research has shown that divorce can have a tremendous impact on children because it can be source of emotional distress especially in the early years, psychological problems, and socialization difficulties. The purpose of the research paper is to synthesize and analyze the well-supported studies conducted by knowledgeable authors in their respective fields. It is in the interest of society to diagnose the effects of divorce on children in their daily lives and provide support to attenuate the impact so the children who will be the adults tomorrow can be beneficial to society.
Marquardt (2005) in her book “Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce” reveals her own experience as a child growing up with divorced parents. She was able to corroborate with a study her own findings and refute the national belief that in a divorce situation when the parents are able to maintain good relationship, that child should be just fine. Like her, all the participants were college graduates; successful in life, but the group from divorced families experienced a lot of emotional pain and suffering to try to maintain balance. She felt that her parents and the culture at large had very little understanding of her real experience. Children caught in the middle of the divorce process always react in different ways. First, the child who was already accommodated with a certain family bond has to manage to work a thin line between the two divorcing parents to try to maintain a healthy relationship with both parents. Alison and Brentano (2006) related to this in their book by stipulating that children experienced feelings of confusion and betrayal as they watched their family fall apart and feel neglected while their parents struggled with their own problems. In the process leading to divorce the child emotional state already start getting affected because of intense arguments between the two parents. Second, the children who end up finding themselves in unknown territory start digesting feelings and emotions that are too deep for their immature ego. While the children are suffering and undergoing all these changes of personality, both parents have only one sight of the situation, which translates to coming out of the relationship as a winner. A study from Yeonok and Emery in 2010 in South Korea revealed that adolescents from divorced families presented more signs of fears of feeling abandoned, lost, and also reported lower self esteem which reflected emotional pain. They added that the findings in their study were quite similar to the findings of other researchers in the US. In light of the fact that most damages start well before the divorce, Jolivet (2011) believes that all efforts are to be directed to address the well-being of the child in the period leading up to the divorce and not after. Children witnessing their parents arguments will always be attempted to take side without sometimes not fully understanding the root of the issues and this always lead to unhealthy relationship with one if not both parents. In a 2009 qualitative approach study in South Africa, Bojuwoye and Akpan reported in their conclusion that children at their parent divorce felt angry, lost, sad, confused, and humiliated. Another important recurring fact worth noting is that in divorce situation, when parents use question of custody and visitation rights to fight each other, they exacerbate children’s fear of abandonment, leaving them wounded and emotionally isolated (Piedmont, 2009). Most of the studies about children from divorced families compare the results with children from intact families, and Amato (2005) from his research concludes that children from intact families have a higher standard of living, receive better parenting, are emotionally stable, and will experiment less stressful events and circumstances. Even though divorce can have damaging effects on children emotional state, many researchers have already established the fact that girls and boys react differently from parents divorce. Bojuwoye and Akpan (2009) revealed that while boys are careless of whom their father reconstructed their life with, girls expressed feeling of hatred towards the women living with their dad. Usually, in intact families girls tend to be more close to their father and get more attention from him, so when the family splits up and they end up living with their mother, not only there are missing the attention so badly needed but they see any other female around their dad as a rival. Many others researches comparing the effects on boys and girls concluded that while the effects can be immediate for boys, for girls it tend to accumulate to culminate at adolescent. While it is well established that most children who experienced divorce especially in the early age will endure a range of emotional distresses, most as young adults will remember just the bad feelings and emotions related to that experience but will go on to have a normal life as productive adults in society. However, psychological problems in adolescents are linked to divorce according to many studies.
In divorce situation, both parties try to weaken the adversary to win and forget to focus on the well-being of children. Research shows that not all children from divorced families will exhibit long-term psychological effect but the number one risk among other is the high intensity parental conflict. Parental divorce can be source of many secondary problems and stress that are causally related to depression (Aseltine, 1996). The case study of obsessional neurosis in an eight-year-old boy related by Piedmont (2009) in her article “The epigenesis of psychopathology in children of divorce“, is a patent example. She reported that Sam parents’ divorced when he was only four but even though both parent have maintained a cordial relationship, Sam started to develop signs of depression, avoided contact with other people and was fearful to lose both of his parent when the mother married and went on honey moon. Sam, affected was not able to go to school and his state worsened when his father also married a year later. She concluded that Sam parents were not aware of the fact that his mental health relied on them being together as a couple. In high conflict case when both parents are fighting over the custody of the child, one often if not both try to win the child over by portraying the other one as a non fit parent. Jolivet (2011) referred to this as parental alienation syndrome and stated that it is one the cause of long-term psychological impact on children. She insisted that in high conflict divorce, parents who engaged in the practice of parent alienation syndrome are unwillingly harming the child mental health in the long term. A good example of parental alienation syndrome is another case study from Piedmont (2009) about the case of attachment disorder in a twelve-year-old girl. She noted that Martina’s parents divorced soon after she turned four year old and their custodial relationship was very poor. Martina’s father exaggerated any issues that the girl was having with her mother and tried to his best ability to make himself look like the best parent by buying all kinds of gifts. This end up affecting the relation between Martina and her mother because all Martina’s complains and attitudes was meet with hostile retaliation and anger from her mother who was convinced that her daughter’s attitude is the sole work of her father trying to get back at her. She concluded that Martina developed a severe anxiety attack in response to the feelings of insecurity in the relationship with her father and mother. This is emphasized in one study “The divided world of the child: Divorce and Long-term psychosocial adjustment” published in the Journal “ Family Court Review” where the authors concluded that in divorced families much of the conflict that has occurred can be internalized within the child in a form of troubled ruminations about one or both parents (Schwartz & Finley, 2010). They went further to acknowledge that compromised psychosocial functioning and trouble rumination in emerging adults have been associated with the perception of both parents as not involved and non-nurturant toward the children while they were growing. Piedmont (2009) summarizes it well by reporting that according to Freud (1973) a child reaction to father’s absence in marital partnership can be in a form of neurotic passivity or impulsive disorder. Children impacted by divorce can emotionally recover from the distress as Marquardt (2005) elucidated in her study, and the psychological problems when assessed early and professionally handled can be minimized. However, many researchers have also concluded that socialization difficulties for children can be linked to divorce especially in high conflict cases.
Even though not all socialization difficulties from children in society are exclusively the consequences of divorce, many researchers concluded that divorce is at least one of the causes. Aside from psychological problem, children from divorced parents exhibit adolescent delinquent behavior and low academic performance (Portnoy, 2008). The author believes that not only children from divorced families are likely two to three times more prone to engage in delinquent behavior compare to children from families with marital stability, but they also tend to be involved in drug related activities and exposed to sexual promiscuity. Studies compared the effects between boys and girls: while for boys the effects seem to be immediate and translate to delinquent behavior, aggression, and disruption, for girls the effects accumulate to culminate at adolescence with behaviors like running out, skipping school, being sexual active, and acting out. Piedmont (2009) in her article “The epigenesis of psychopathology in children of divorce” discusses the case of an adolescent in acts of rage against her mother molested his younger half sisters instead of seeking relationship with girls to have the sexual experiences he thought his peers was enjoying with girls. Jolivet (2011) acknowledges that often, parenting problems with custodial parent practicing knowingly or not impaired parenting can cause socialization difficulties. Those parents cannot make the difference between love and parenting skills and instead of applying strict parenthood rules toward their children, they usually put themselves in a state of denial or think that if they slug any behavioral issues under the rug, it will not just happen again. Children growing up with behavioral issues wished their parents would be stronger in playing the role of educating them. The consequences are huge for children: it include lack of personality, grudges against parents, not having goals in life, and tend to depend on their parents when they should be taking care of their families. Sometimes when the family breaks apart one of the parent might end up relocating in another city if not another state. The change of living situation can often have an effect on children because most divorces come with some financial hardship, Bojuwoye and Akpan (2009) related to this by stating that moving from place to place, impacted children ability to focus on long-term goals and academic performance. Another important fact is that children exposed to divorce usually feel ashamed of it. They end up not opening themselves to the outside world especially with their peers at school and in the neighborhood. Studies proved that the more negatives changes are occurring in the family, the lesser children are focus on academic goals, either score lower than children from intact families or worse drop out of school. Marquardt (2005) from her experience teaches us that in divorced families, the mother and the father occupy “separate worlds”, and it is up to the child to reconcile their separate worlds.
Researchers have well established that divorce can have an impact on children because of the emotional toll on the younger one, psychological problems noted in high conflict divorce cases, and socialization difficulties expressed with delinquent behavior. In marriage, both partners need to concentrate their effort to manage their destructives impulses and hatred towards one another and their children in constructive ways (Piedmont, 2009). Will it be possible to achieve one day a society where no children will suffer from the consequences of divorce? It is impossible or even irrational to think that there is anything that society can do to bring down to a zero level the number of divorce. However, studies have shown that children who have a positive view of divorce are less likely to suffer of depression and show sign of disorderly behavior and there are many solutions which when implemented early on can help minimize or eradicate the impact on children. Research has shown today that parent attitude towards the other party in time of divorce can affect children in negative and destructive ways and Mahoney (2005) illustrates it well by saying, “No divorce is a good divorce, but when it comes to the kids, some divorces are clearly better than others”. Children of today society will be the leaders of tomorrow; therefore, it is in the best interest of society to be proactive in the research of solutions to minimize the impact of divorce on children. Robinson (1993) said it well by stating that it is the necessity of the society to both financially and thru interventionist support be part of solution in time of crisis of the family life cycle. Jolivet (2011) acknowledges that intervention programs like mediation, collaborative practice, and divorce education class for all parties designed to bring the broken family to a closure as they split apart, have proven success in the court system. She believes that family law practitioner in concert with well trained personnel of the judicial system can play a vital role to help minimize the psychological impact of divorce on children. Parents need to have the priority set on the best interest of their children well being in divorce situation, and on the other hand, the components of the judicial system must take all the responsibility to make sound decisions for the best interest of parents and children. With the combination of all efforts, society can aspire to one day; children will emerge from divorce with the minimum of psychological wounds and are better prepare to face the challenge of life.

References
Alison, C-S., & Brentano, C. (2006). Divorce: Causes and Consequences. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
Aseltine Jr, R. H. (1996). Pathways Linking Parental Divorce with Adolescent Depression.[->0] Journal of Health & Social Behavior, Vol. 37 Issue 2, 133-148.
Bojuwoye, O., & Akpan, O. (2009). Personal, familial and environmental perspectives in children's reactions to parental divorce in South Africa.[->1] Journal of Family Studies, Vol. 15 Issue 3, 260-273.
Finley, G. E., & Schwartz, S. J. (2010). The divided world of the child: Divorce and Long-term psychosocial adjustment. Family Court Review, Vol. 48 Issue 3, 516-527.
Jolivet, K. R. (2011). The Psychological Impact of Divorce on Children: What is a Family Lawyer to Do?[->2] American Journal of Family Law, Vol. 25 Issue 4, 175-183.
Marquardt, E. (2005). Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce. Westminster, MD: Crown Publishing Group.
Piemont, L (2009). The epigenesis of psychopathology in children of divorce.[->3] Modern Psychoanalysis, Vol. 34 Issue 2, 97-115.
Portnoy, S.M. (2008). The Psychology of Divorce: A Lawyer's Primer, Part 2: The Effects of Divorce on Children.[->4] American Journal of Family Law, Vol. 21 Issue 4, 126-134.
Robinson, M. (1993). Family Transformation During Divorce and Remarriage: A Systematic Approach. Florence, KY: Routledge.
Yeonok, C., & Emery, R. (2010). Early Adolescents and Divorce in South Korea: Risk, Resilience and Pain.[->5] Journal of Comparative Family Studies, Vol. 41 Issue 5, p855-870.

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