The Impact of Divorce on Children Under the Age Of Eighteen
Benjamin D. Hinely
Liberty University Online
PSYC 210 – D29

Abstract
Divorce is the act of separating two married individuals legally and absolves both parties of marital obligation. It is, by its nature, destructive and stressful. Pulling a family apart rarely happens along clean lines and children can often be left confused and permanently effected emotionally and mentally. Depression is a major result in children. As are self esteem issues regarding self worth in relation to possible future marriage partners. In addition, there are other general relational problems. Children previously affected by divorce are more likely to see it as an option in their own relationships. Problems with relating to others and a lack of ability to trust implicitly are common as well. Academics are often negatively affected (ie. lower grades, in class disturbances, concentration conflicts) by these factors. It isn’t universal, however, that divorce always is a negative influence. There are those who go on to have good relationships and marriages. It is then not an exact thing to say divorce is always harmful to children. But the possibilities do exist and should then be accounted for.

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Research
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines divorce as “the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage and or separation and severance.” In more practical and real terms it is where two people split up their lives and divide what they have accrued together. This splitting is hardly ever clean and this point is most apparent when children are concerned.
“Approximately 1.5 million children and adolescents in the United States experience parental divorce each year…”In addition, out of all American children, 40% are expected to “live with a divorced parent by age 16” (Denis, A. T., & Melinda, M. G., 2009). These are vast numbers of persons, but just how are they affected?
The adults involved may have good reasons for deciding to break off their relationship, but the children involved are often left confused and conflicted (McGuire P. 1987). Many children of divorced parents wind up having psychological and physiological problems as a result. It is the stress of the dismantling of a family that leads to many of the issues. Documented troubles run the gamut from depression to low self-esteem. Outside changes also contribute to these problems. Changes in living arrangements (moving house, city or even state) can occur. The loss of friends as a result the moving is possible (Denis, A. T., & Melinda, M. G., 2009).
Counselors have reported seeing the stages of the mourning process in children. They don’t necessarily follow any particular order, but these stages are: denial, depression, anger and acceptance. (McGuire, P. 1987). In denial, the fact of the divorce is being rejected; “This isn’t happening”. With depression, negative thoughts take hold. It is here where suicide may be an issue with older children. Anger happens when the child blames one parent or the other (or both) and lashes out at them. And the acceptance stage occurs when the child comprehends the reality of the separation and moves on. Basically, it is as if the child is taking the divorces almost as if a death has occurred. A contributing factor this emotional turmoil is a loyalty at odds between the parents. A child may not know who exactly they are supposed align with. This uncertainty may lead to a feeling of instability and doubt as to what the proper response really is (McGuire P. 1987). This may lead to emotional outbursts. For example, a son my lash out at a father without really knowing why the separation occurred.
Research shows that the effect divorce has on a child may depend a lot on their age (Berger, 2011). Younger children tend to not to have the same effects as their adolescent counterparts. A preschooler may have troubles with increased bouts of crying and tantrums and suffer from potty training setbacks. But a teenager will be more likely to have bouts of depression (Berger, 2011, Pg. 620) and be excessively aggressive (Ingunn Størksen et. al. 2005). This isn’t to say, however, that the effects in either age group are any less serious or will not have the same long lasting outcomes.
It is interesting that gender, it seems, plays a role in how a child reacts to a divorce. Depression does affect both boys and girls, but studies have shown that female children of divorce have higher rates of depression and internalization problems (Ingunn Størksen et. al. 2005). This may be due in part to the earlier mental development of girls. In homes where the father leaves, a male child is more likely to have issues controlling anger and hostility (Ingunn Størksen et. al. 2005).
An inability or diminished capacity to properly cope with stress and stressful situations is another possible effect. Anxiety rates are higher in children of divorced parents (Peris, T., & Emery, R. 2004). Attention is another reduced ability (Ingunn Størksen et. al. 2005), affecting home life as well as school and social life (Peris, T., & Emery, R. 2004).

There are also indications that those who come from a family broken by divorce have a proclivity for substance misusage. Also in the realm of criminal behaviors are possible heightened levels of delinquency.
As divorce proceeds, the responsibilities of a child may change. Because of the decreased income of a single parent, childcare may no longer be a viable option. As such an older sibling may have to take on the role of “babysitter” (Denis, A. T., & Melinda, M. G., 2009). Other new tasks may include shopping and cleaning. For teens, it may even be necessary to get a job to bring in extra money to help with household expenses.
According to the cognitive development model, in watching their parents’ relationship dissolve, the children may take hold of negative thoughts and ideas about relationships. This is most often seen as discontent in current relationships and a general feeling of relationship impermanence. Women specifically were shown to have low levels of contentment and children of divorce in general spoke of reduced dedication to and need for long term relationships. (Cui, M., Fincham, F. D. and Durtschi, J. A., 2011)
Feelings that relationships can be easily ended and replaced are likely. As well as the thought that it is better that relationships are “best terminated when inevitable difficulties arise…” instead of attempting to work at solving problems. It almost becomes a “self-fulfilling prophesy”. A bad relationship is expected, so commitment becomes lower. The lack of commitment leads to strife and that strife leads to a bad relationship. All of the negatives are reversible however if the child of divorce sees the lessons they learned from their experience as unhelpful and seek to change those ways of thinking and interacting. (Cui, M., Fincham, F. D. and Durtschi, J. A., 2011)
School attendance and grades have been shown to suffer negatively while a child has parents going through a divorce. Absences are increased and they are two to three times as likely to drop out of school (Denis, A. T., & Melinda, M. G., 2009). It appears that the stress affects the ability to “get with the program” (or comprehend subject matter) as well (Peris, T., & Emery, R. 2004).
Grades in science related courses are much poorer in high school children of divorce than in their counterparts from non-divorced homes. And data has indicated that scholastic success is lessened the “further a family structure was from the intact two-part family…” (Ham B. D. 2003, Pg. 170) as well as the dropout rate being at least twice as high.
The effects of divorce are strong enough to follow a child into their adult years; effects are still being felt into the 30s or longer (Ingunn Størksen et. al. 2005). And these same adults are shown to have higher instances of utilizing “psychiatric services” (Peris, T., & Emery, R. 2004). These services being seeing a counselor, psychologist and or psychiatrist. Regular shifting of relationships has been documented as well (Ingunn Størksen et. al. 2005).
Adults who were children of divorced parents are shown to be more likely to not attend college. (This is possibly due to financial limitations due to living in a single parent home). In addition, constant changing of employment (or being completely without), and living on government assistance are also common.
It should be noted here that the effects are not standard or typical across the board; not all children are the same, or are affected the same, and prove to be most resilient (Denis, A. T., & Melinda, M. G., 2009). And of those who do receive drastic effects, these aren’t always harmful or long lasting; serving more to build up the child, instead of tearing them down.
The problems mentioned previously are all possible, and have been documented as happening, but are also containable (if not preventable). If the parents strive to, after divorce, support their children (Denis, A. T., & Melinda, M. G., 2009) by offering to listen to concerns, giving advice on what not to do and being honest and open about what lead up to the divorce. It is important to put the needs of the children first in a divorce; taking care to do all that is possible to minimize any relational, emotional and mental stressors. No matter the age of the children, from young to old, divorce always leaves a mark.
In conclusion, it would seem plainly obvious that divorce affects all involved, but especially so children. Most drastically in those who are adolescents and younger. From depression to troubles in school, all parts of life are touched by divorce. Not all children have the same experience, but all have something in themselves change. It is impossible to cleave human lives neatly apart.

References
Berger, K. S. (2011). The developing person through the life span. (8th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.
Cui, M., Fincham, F. D. and Durtschi, J. A. (2011), The effect of parental divorce on young adults' romantic relationship dissolution: What makes a difference?. Personal Relationships, 18: 410–426. doi: 10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01306.x
Denis', A. T., & Melinda, M. G. (2009). Narrative theory: A career counseling approach for adolescents of divorce. Professional School Counseling, 12(3), 223-229. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/213270475?accountid=12085
Emery, R. E. (2004). The truth about children and divorce. New York, NY: Penguin Group.
Ham B. D. (2003), The Effects of Divorce on the Academic Achievement of High School Seniors, Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 38:3-4, 167-185
Ingunn Størksen, Espen Røysamb, Torbjørn Moum, Kristian Tambs, Adolescents with a childhood experience of parental divorce: a longitudinal study of mental health and adjustment, Journal of Adolescence, Volume 28, Issue 6, December 2005, Pages 725-739, ISSN 0140-1971, 10.1016/j.adolescence.2005.01.001. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140197105000047
McGuire, P. (1987). Putting it together. New York, NY: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group Inc.
Pehrsson, D., Allen, V. B., Folger, W. A., McMillen, P. S., & Lowe, I. (2007). Bibliotherapy with preadolescents experiencing divorce. The Family Journal, 15(4), 409-414. doi: 10.1177/1066480707305352
Peris, T., & Emery, R. (2004). A prospective study of the consequences of marital disruption for adolescents: predisruption family dynamics and postdisruption adolescent adjustment. Journal Of Clinical Child And Adolescent Psychology: The Official Journal For The Society Of Clinical Child And Adolescent Psychology, American Psychological Association, Division 53, 33(4), 694-704.