Michael K McPherson

The Right to Marry!

So many people say the “Right to Marry” act should not be allowed to go through, but I couldn’t disagree more. In fact, I say “why the hell not?” Don’t I have the right to pursue happiness like the rest of America? Have we forgotten how many minority battles this country has gone through already? Are we, as a nation, truly ready to go through yet another one? People often ask me why I stand for the right to marry. I tell them that it is because I completely agree in equality. Who am I to challenge the heart of someone who wants to commit their life to someone they love? I honestly feel that marriage should not be decided by the states, nor the courts, but by the two individuals that are entering the union. There are many reasons as to why marriage should be legal for all citizens. I will explain just a few of these reasons. And then I will let you decide where you stand.

We live in a country, which constantly reminds us of our true blindness, and hasw been making choices for us without listening to what we are feeling. How can a nation come to a decision without fully understanding the hearts that make it run? This brings me to my first reason, equality; we have all had a problem with equality at one point or another. I know that equality is a part of many arguments, but it is a major factor in determining what side to stand on. The main issue of equality is freedom; take a look at the first part of the second paragraph in our Declaration of Independence,

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on non such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.” We often look too much into our own issues that we often forget to look at the true value of this statement. Three phrases such as, the pursuit of happiness, right of the people, and safety and happiness stand out more than any. Although most of us know these statements and have learned them at a rather early age, equality still becomes a huge issue in today’s world. I am sure that we have all heard of the man that walked into a burning house to save his neighbor, the same neighbor that not a week earlier verbally harassed the man for being gay. What caused this? Is it the fact that we are all HUMAN? Did personal conflict play a part in this, or did the purity of forgiveness and equality?

Another reason is the ability to medically support your family. There are so many doctors and hospitals hold policies that restrict people from entering certain areas; such as, E.R rooms, I.C.U rooms, and maternal rooms. Most policies state that only immediate family can see sever patients, but what happens if your immediate family happens to be your same sex partner? Without legal documentation of state recognized marriage or civil union, you don’t fall under immediate family! I know this because at one point, I became hospitalized from a horrible accident, and the only thing my partner could do is tell my family to tell me bye because he was not “legally” family. I honestly believe that we should be granted the same medical security and protection as any American citizen. What do you think?

The final reason is family! Everyone dreams, and hopes, of one day passing their knowledge and understanding of life down to their children. But what happens when the law steps in and tells you that when it comes to this child, you have no legal right to teach, protect, discipline, or even love him/her? As a gay male, I face this issue every day; both me and my partner. We are constantly reminded that only one of us can be a father. Is that what they tell heterosexual couples that adopt? There are several children that don’t have homes, yet are dying for a loving and caring family. Do you think they care if it’s two men or two women, or could it be that they, like most of the world, just want to be loved? It is a fact that some states have in place streamline adoption laws for non-biological parents. These laws make it difficult for both heterosexual and homosexual adults , even when one of the adults in the relationship is the biological parent, to adopt their child. It is for this reason that so many couples have issues starting a family.

One of the biggest arguments about gay marriage is that homosexuals are promiscuous, unable to form lasting relationships, and if those relationships are formed, rarely take in the tradition of monogamy. This is true in some cases, both with heterosexual couples and homosexual couples. An interesting thing is that most of the couples I know, that are homosexual, have been anywhere from 19 through 30 years. Yes they have had their “marital” issues, but they are still together. I can remember a time when my grandparents were on the edge of divorce. The lesson I learned from them is that no matter what type of relationship your in, gay or straight, the length of the relationship depends on the amount of work each member decides to put into the unity. With that being said, the chances of a relationship cannot be measured by a simple study of gay or straight, but a study of human growth and understanding of one’s self when pertaining to a relationship.

In conclusion, I would like you to think of one last thing, Parental love! I grew up, like most of us, listening to my grandmother tell me, “I only want the best for you. I want you to go further than I could, but most of all I want you to be happy”. What she meant by this was, I want you to never be alone, settle down, raise a family, and no true happiness. Parents often tell their children these things, only mine got what they asked for; my total happiness! The only thing is that they don’t what my happiness if it means me being gay! Is it so hard to see that everything your child/children may have regardless of the type of relationship they are in, is everything you wished for them to have. As a child you prayed for me, us, your children, yet when your prayers are answered you are quick to take away our rights because they were not answered the way you desired them to be. Does this not ring true to the old saying “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”? So my closing statement is thus a simple question. With all the information provided, will you continue to end the dreams of not only your children, but also the dreams you have had all this time of their happiness? Let this be known, it is because of you and your set goals for us, that we were able to stand and become who we are, and even more, who we can be!

Michael K McPherson.