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Things and Stuff

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Submitted By ExPThedoktor
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I seriously just cannot deal with him being here, Abram. I don’t love him like I thought I did and while you do hold some of the reason for why I came to this conclusion, you aren’t the only thing. I tried really hard to just forget about things that have happened with us, which was super stupid, and even when I entirely placed them to the side, I don’t love him like I thought I did. You’ve showed me something entirely new. You are the FIRST guy that I have actually had access too that isn’t abusive. You’ve shown me that “Hey, guess what? There are super nice guys out there. There is someone out there that can help you.” I now understand why so many people just say no to LDR’s. I cannot deal with this. And it isn’t just the distance, it’s him. He’s not a bad guy or anything, but our personalities just don’t mesh very well. I don’t feel comfortable around him at all, I constantly feel like I am a host and that I’m required to take care of his every need at all times disregarding my own wants and needs for him. While I said that for you I place your wants and needs above mine, that’s true, but I don’t do it ALL the time. I really love you, but you don’t make me feel like I need to sacrifice most things, but with him, there’s no escaping him and how he is currently making me feel. I know he doesn’t mean too, but I feel like I am just babysitting him. I don’t know what to do Abram. He’s here for six weeks and you’re elaving TOMORROW. Do you understand this. I don’t know what in the world I’m going to do without you ebing here. I mean I’m sure that I’ll be fine, but you don’t understand how attached I have grown to you this past week. Abram, I love you. I love you more than I can fit into words.

You make me feel safe. You make me feel pretty, good enough, loved and a whole mass of other things. I love you. I love how you make me smile. I love the sound of you

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