Assignment: Outlining a Satirical Argument

Directions: In the chart below, describe three problems with society today. Next, explain a satirical solution to each problem, and in the third column, describe the supposed “benefits” which will result from the implementation of this “solution.” At the bottom, describe an ACTUAL solution to one of the problems listed.

Problem: Racism | Solution: Everyone needs to mind their own business, and worry about their personal lives and not everyone else’s. | Benefits: It would be less Black on White, Hispanic, Chinese ect…crime. | Problem: Drugs | Solution: They need to come up with a better method to catch drug dealers In the act. | Benefits: There will be less car accidents because of people being to high to drive, and there will be less killings because people “blanked out” and didn’t know what they “were doing”. | Problem: Abortion | Solution: They need to make it a certain law in every state because there are too many opinions floating around, and different “strikes”, so if they make it to where there is a law in your state then that will be weight taken off the presidents shoulders. | Benefits: It will stop wasting time on the news, and clear up some space for another important story, and people can move on to the next topic. |

Write a paragraph in which you describe an ACTUAL solution which you would want to be implemented. Something that I would like to be put in action is more help with helping the homeless. The reason why I say that is because I see so many homeless people on the street, and I wonder why they don’t have a home, or why they don’t have a job. I wish that there was some type of program where they would build a big house for all the homeless people in that city, and have one in every city. They should also have the best cooks, and once every 2 months get to go shopping for new cloths,