Welcome to WritePoint, the automated review system that recognizes errors most commonly made by university students in academic essays. The system embeds comments into your paper and suggests possible changes in grammar and style. Please evaluate each comment carefully to ensure that the suggested change is appropriate for your paper, but remember that your instructor's preferences for style and format prevail. You will also need to review your own citations and references since WritePoint capability in this area is limited. NOTE: WritePoint comments are computer-generated writing and grammar suggestions inviting the consideration and analysis of the writer; they are not infallible statements of right/wrong, and they should not be used as grading elements. Also, at present, WritePoint cannot detect quotations or block-quotes, so comments in those areas should be ignored. Please see the other helpful writing resources in the Tutorials and Guides section of the Center for Writing Excellence. Thank you for using WritePoint.

Vulnerable Paper [This title could be more inspiring. Labeling it a "paper" or an "essay" is redundant (what else could it be?), and only a few words as a title are not very explanatory (or intriguing to the reader). An ideal title has between six and a dozen words ] -Part ll
Legy George
HCS/531
May 7, 12
Doris Chimera Vulnerable Population- Part ll

Most [Make sure paragraph indentation is five to seven spaces or one tab stop] elderly persons (64 percent [Use the symbol with numerals--64%] ) live in families with modest incomes (150 to 299 percent [Use %] of the poverty level) or moderate to high incomes (300 percent [Use %] of the poverty level or above). However, over ["Over" is used to describe something physically above something else (e.g., over the rainbow) or time (over a period of years); for comparisons of amount, try "more than" ] one in three elderly persons live in a poor or near-poor family (income less than 150 percent [Use %] of the poverty level). The elderly's income is derived [The passive voice is a form of "be" (is) and a participle (derived). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Prefer the active voice. For example, passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time. See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] from four primary sources: (1) Social Security; (2) pension income; (3) employment earnings; and [Unless the previous phrases contain one or more commas, remove the semicolon(s)--replace with comma(s)] (4) income from assets. Elderly persons in low-income families live primarily on Social Security, while ["While" is accurate in linking simultaneous events (meaning "during"), but if that is not the case here, use "although," "whereas," "and," or "but"] those with moderate to high incomes receive a much higher percentage of their total income from pensions, employment, and assets. In comparison to financial assets, home equity assets are more evenly distributed across income groups. Although 40 percent [Use %] of the elderly with low incomes do not have any home equity, those who do have fairly significant amounts.

Older [Possible incorrect indentation] elderly persons are more likely to be poor or near poor than the younger elderly, 35 percent [Use %] of elderly persons between the ages of 65 and 74 live in families with low incomes. In comparison, almost two-thirds of the elderly over age 85 live in poor or near-poor households. A widow can become poor as a result of her husband's death for three main reasons: 1) a loss of pension income; 2) a decline in Social Security benefits; and [Unless the previous phrases contain one or more commas, remove the semicolon(s)--replace with comma(s)] 3) the expenses related to her husband's death. Overall, [Wordiness: unless meaning denim work clothes, "overall" is general and vague and contributes little to the sentence] about two-thirds of elderly persons who are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "who are"] poor or near poor are not married, and over half live alone. The elderly population with the highest rate of poverty is very old widows who live by themselves. Nursing home care has a far greater financial impact [Doctoral rule (although good advice for any academic writer): "impact" is a noun (a hit). It is informally used as a verb (impacting the business), but avoid this in academic writing ] on the elderly than other types of long-term care. Indeed, nursing home care is the largest out-of-pocket health care cost for elderly consumers. The cost of a private nursing home stay can build up very quickly.

Home [Possible incorrect indentation] care generally has less of a financial impact on the elderly. First, most elderly persons who receive care at home do not use formal (paid) care. At a point-in-time, only about 20-25 percent [Use %] of the elderly with functional impairments receive formal services in their lifetime. Elderly persons with chronic disabling conditions are likely to also have [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--avoid a split infinitive; consider placing the adverb (also) before or after the infinitive (to have )--try "also to have " or "to have also" (or place "also" later in the sentence)] expenses for acute medical care in addition to their long-term care requirements. Even though most acute care expenditures are covered [Passive voice ] by public or private insurance, the costs of recurring prescriptions, doctor's visits, and hospital stays due to [Check word usage: This phrase is most accurate in referring to something owed ($5 due) or an arrival time (due at 6:00)--try "because" or "because of"] deductibles, copayments, and non-covered services can add up very quickly. The disabled elderly are at greater risk of high out-of-pocket acute care medical expenses than the non-disabled population.. Despite substantial decreases in the poverty rate of America's senior citizens over the last twenty [Express numbers higher than nine in digits (when not the first word in the sentence)] years, the incidence of poverty among minority elders remains high. Many minority elders worked at manual labor, domestic service, and/or ["and/or" is an awkward construction, a shortcut appropriate in a legal document, not in academic writing] temporary or part-time jobs that offered neither pensions nor social security benefits. Moreover, low paid workers had little opportunity to accumulate assets on which to live in their later years. Poverty is clearly linked [Passive voice ] to educational level and highly correlated with marital and living arrangements. Well-educated, married couples are financially better off than those who are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "who are"] less educated [Passive voice ] , single, and living alone. Educational levels correspond to different job opportunities and careers, with [Remove comma before "with" (unless beginning or ending a parenthetical phrase)] the more highly educated likely to have better retirement benefits and more personal savings from their working years

Like [Possible incorrect indentation] other developed countries, the US [In academic writing, this abbreviation should be used solely as an adjective; otherwise, write out United States] has large public programs for the older population that provide health care, long-term care, and income support. While these account for the vast bulk of government spending for the older population, there are also numerous other smaller public programs that provide housing, social services, transportation, and additional cash assistance. With the enactment of Medicare in 1965, basic health insurance protection for hospital care and physician services was extended [Passive voice ] to nearly all-elderly Americans. The universal nature of Medicare coverage means that virtually no elderly person is without insurance coverage for the elderly does not vary by State of residence and does not limit the elderly's choice of providers in the mainstream of American medical care. Low-income elderly people have been particularly reliant on Medicare coverage because they are in poorer health than high-income elderly, and therefore, are more likely to use health services.

In recent years, Medicaid coverage of the elderly has been expanded [Passive voice ] considerably to assist low-income Medicare beneficiaries with the growing cost of Medicare premiums and cost sharing. The Social Services Block Grant (SSBG), formerly known as Title XX-The origins of the SSBG lie in a 1956 amendment to the Social Security Act (SSA), which authorized dollar-for-dollar federal matching of state funds devoted to social services. Title III of the Older Americans Act- The Older Americans Act was enacted [Passive voice ] in 1965. Title III established state and sub-state Agencies on Aging to plan and co- ordinate services to the elderly. Services are defined [Passive voice ] very broadly to include health, continuing education, welfare, recreation, home-maker [Spell as one word without hyphen] services, counseling, referral, transport, housing and [in academic writing, if this is a series, place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] related services, nutrition services and [in academic writing, if this is a series, place a comma before the final conjunction (and)] multipurpose "senior [Check the quotation--if it is a complete sentence, a comma should precede the opening quotation mark, and the first word should be capitalized] [Check capitalization: the first word of a quotation is capitalized if it begins a complete sentence] centers and State [Do not capitalize this word (unless it begins a sentence)] [Do not capitalize without the complete name of the institution (unless in a citation or as the first word in a sentence)] programs without federal funding, which include additional support for services for elderly and disabled people who are [Writing suggestion: rewrite the sentence to remove "who are"] eligible for cash assistance from the federal SSI program.

Retirement [Possible incorrect indentation] income is financed [Passive voice ] through a combination of public and private pensions, savings, and welfare payments. Approximately 44% of households [insert comma if the following is a nonrestrictive phrase] including a person over the age of 65 have private pensions;