What Is One Worth? In the depths of a person’s heart, lies his or her self-worth. Self-worth sculpts individuals into who they are, what they want to become. Self-worth lies at the heart of self-esteem. Self-esteem is Palladino (1994) “a combination of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-respect. It involves respecting others and feeling a sense of unity and peace within yourself” (p.1). The key to higher self-esteem is the incentive to take responsibility for one’s viewpoints and to understand that this is what makes them who they are] (Palladino, 1994). However, the mission of higher self-esteem at times will cause sacrifices to be made by the person “to education, relationships, self-regulation, mental and physical health, as well as other concerns” (Crocker & Knight, 2005). If a person wants to better his or her self, and generate higher self-esteem, he or she must do so cautiously, or there may be repercussions.
Palladino (1994) noted “self-esteem reflects each individual to everyone with whom he or she comes into contact with (p.1). Self-esteem does not stay the same throughout a person’s life. There are many factors that come and go that cause self-esteem to fluctuate. As stated by Palladino, (1994) “self-esteem is both conscious and unconscious. Self-esteem is an ongoing assessment of whom a person is. It is an opinion about what he or she can and cannot do” (p. 1). For example, when a person buys a house, self-esteem will be high. If a person loses his or her house due to foreclosure, self-esteem can be reduced.
Sometimes a person cannot control the conditions that affect their self-esteem. If a person loses their job, due to the economy, that is a circumstance beyond the person’s controls that affects his or her self-esteem. In the event, a person is terminated because of his or her poor job performance this is a circumstance that he or she can control. This circumstance can also affect a person’s self-esteem. This circumstance could be prevented and if a person is ready he or she can change his or her behavior.
Carl Rogers, one of the utmost instrumental psychologists in the 20th century, stated that [self-worth can be viewed as a gauge from high to low. There are moments in one’s life where he or she is capable of handling the adverse events that occur. However, a person with little self-worth may elude trials in life, not accept that life can be upsetting, and become frustrated and will tend to cautious with others] (McLeod, 2007). For example, a couple gets a divorce after thirty years of marriage due to a partner cheating. This can serve as a major blow to one’s self-esteem. He or she may not be willing to accept this event for a long time. During and after the events that surround the divorce, one may not want to accept other hardships that come along. He or she may not be trusting of others. He or she may try to avoid anything that comes along and threatens to yield more disappointment.
Vohs and Finkel (2006) noted “via self-regulation individuals come to realize their dreams and desires-to change their visions of the future into graspable realities” (p.32). A person’s desires can be anything from a buying a home, getting married, moving to a new state, or starting a new job. Opportunities that provide a person a goal to work towards will assist in self-regulation. Vohs and Finkel (2006) also noted “self-regulation is [extremely] important; it helps [individuals from] the self and the social world in which they want to be a [part of] (p.32).
Carl Rogers believed McLeod (2007) “feelings for self-worth [established during infancy] formed from the interaction of the child with the mother and father. As a child grows older, interactions with significant others will affect the feelings of self-worth” (McLeod, 2007). For example, parents who show love and affection for their children will allow the child a sense of value. Children with parents who do not show love and devotion to their children will tend to have the opposite outlook. However, teachers, friends, and other relatives also play a vital role in how a person feels about his or her identity. If everyone makes an individual feel wanted and loved, the individual may feel warm about oneself. However, if one or more people are not open or if they put the individual down, that could have an impact on how the individual views his or her identity.
McLeod (2007) also stated that Rogers believed that [we need to be [seen encouragingly] by other. Everyone needs to feel valued. [Positive regard involves how people [assess other people] in social interactions. Unconditional positive regard is when parents and other [noteworthy individuals in someone’s life] accepts and loves the [individual] for who he or she is. Positive regard does not change when the person makes a mistake]. This enables the individual to feel free to try things and not to worry about making mistakes, because it will not change how parents or significant others see them. This gives them the opportunity to become who they want to become, without fear of repercussion. Think of the teenager who tries to play every sport, the one who makes excellent grades, but yet dresses and acts differently than everyone else. The parents’ ability to accept the minor for who he is, not what he does, proves that the parents practice unconditional positive regard with their child.
McLeod, (2007) also stated that Rogers believed that [Conditional positive regard occurs when positive regard, admiration, and support can be determined by the child’s behavior, for instance, they conduct themselves in ways that the parents would consider being correct. Consequently, the child will not be loved for who they are as an individual, but on the stipulation that he or she obey the rules accepted by the parents]. Now, imagine the teenager who makes satisfactory grades, is involved in extracurricular activities that his or her parents deem to be appropriate, and always dresses and acts in a manner that his or her parents feel is appropriate. This minor is one who seeks the praise from his or her parents, because he or she wants to obey his or her parents. This teenager falls under the class of conditional positive regard. “People, who have dealt with conditional positive regard as children, repetitively seek approval from others later in life as well” (McLeod, 2007).
Crocker and Knight (2005) stated [good and adverse events in terms of conditional self-worth may increase or reduce feelings of self-esteem around a person’s normal level of self-esteem. These fluctuations in self-esteem can make the individual feel inferior. Nonetheless, people who experience bouts of high or low self-esteem will examine the emotional high united with the accomplishment. They will try to avoid the feelings of low self- esteem at all costs. Consequently, these contingencies of self-worth help control behavior] (p.200). Palladino (1994) agreed and went on to elaborate that [generally, low self-esteem results from negative emotional responses. It is not easy to [reach maturity] with knowledge of high self-worth, because of the various aspects that arise in this complex world. Childhood experiences can cause thoughts of inadequacy and result in low self-esteem] (p.2). If a child has been a victim of bullying, has trouble in school, or has not shown the proper care at home these can attribute to poor self-esteem. If these feelings can be supported by negative belief patterns, they can become the norm for the individual (Palladino, 1994).
Contingencies of self-worth as determined by Crocker and Knight (2005) also affect long-term and short-term goals. [People want to prove that they are a success, not a failure, in domains of contingent self-worth, because that would mean they are worthy and valuable. In other words, they have self-validation goals. When success cannot be guaranteed, they will move on without completing the task at hand. They would rather withdraw from the task, than to suffer yet another loss and reduce their self-esteem] (p. 200).
A person who is studying to become a lawyer should give oneself a sense of exceptionally high self-esteem. However, after taking the bar twice and failing, with only one opportunity left to pass, may choose to avoid the test. They may not want to experience failure once again. This person may become afraid of what others think of them. No one wants to experience failure. However, a person with higher self-worth will be able to handle failure with more ease than someone with lower self-worth.
The emotions accompanied with proficiency in domains of contingency are useful. However, they do not meet basic requirements for learning, relationships, and autonomy, one’s sense of choice. One may try to defend his or her capabilities, by attempting to improve one’s self-esteem. These actions have costs of learning, relatedness, freedom of choice, self-regulation, and over time physical and mental health (Crocker & Knight, 2005).
Crocker and Knight (2005) also determined that [autonomy refers to the sense of choice. When one’s autonomy is reduced, he or she may feel pressure from the expectations, and standards placed on them. At times, pursuing self-esteem can interfere with establishing and maintaining supportive relationships. People become focused on themselves at the expense of other’s needs and feelings. Interactions with others become a way of validating the identity, rather than an opportunity to contribute and encourage others. The purpose of self-esteem hampers with attaining significant aspirations, because of efforts to protect self-esteem can compromise success. Also, the intense emotions associated with failure in contingent domains can derail efforts to achieve goals. The stress and anxiety associated with contingent self-esteem may affect mental and physical health through stress, and indirectly through self-destructive behavior] (pp.201-202). If a person fails, he or she may not feel worthy, and become anxious about not being able to achieve success, instead of approaching the failure as a setback. This can lead to depression and other health problems.
Palladino (1994) described [self-esteem is the relationship between who a person is and what he or she does. It is the relationship between internal and external success. Individuals need to understand that dreams and goals they may have as children, may not always remain their dreams and goals as an adult]. As a child, one may dream of being a professional singer, but as he or she ages, they may realize that they would prefer to be a pediatric nurse. Therefore, Palladino, (1994) [everyone needs to reevaluate their dreams and goals every once in a while. Once this occurs, the individual can begin the process of acting in different ways, and creating new goals and dreams. The successful individual today has significant goals and enjoys the process of getting there. This person will continually re-evaluate who he or she is. This individual can go through life without the feelings of guilt, fear, or self-doubt] (pp. 1-3).
Crocker and Knight (2005) noted [another self-preservation technique, would be to not to focus on how to build one’s self-esteem, but to achieve that the goals they have planned for his or her identity. Individuals need to access their self-esteem and how much of an investment they have placed upon it. They need to understand where they have inverted their self-esteem, and how such an investment creates costs to their relationships, learning, feeling of autonomy, and the ability to achieve their goals] (p. 203). Paladino (1994) determined “change is hard work; it takes an effort. Change can [instigate] pain, fear, anger, and frustration. Producing it may also mean upsetting balance in a relationship or even letting go of a person who is not supportive of his or her change” (p.2). Relationships should serve as an anchor, aiding in relieving anxiety and present security in moments of need (Vohs & Finkel, 2006). However, change can also lead to an exploration of new goals and enthusiasm, which may result in a new vision. Although change sometimes leads to failure, if an individual can learn from the experience, he or she will have the courage to try again. Subsequent successes will add a new strength and a sense of accomplishment for the individual (Palladino, 1994).
Self-worth plays a vital role in which each person is. Everyone is constantly evolving by changes in their everyday life and by the people who enter and exit their life. Self-worth creates positives and negatives in everyone’s life. People have the option of being responsible for themselves. By accepting responsibility, they can produce better alternatives for themselves.

References
Crocker, Jennifer & Knight, Katherine M. (2005). Contingencies of Self Worth. Current Directions in Psychological Science (Wiley-Blackwell). Vol. 14 (Issue 4), pages 4, 200-203.
McLeod, S.A. (2007). Simply Psychology; Carl Rogers. Retrieved April 26, 2012 from http://www.simplypsychology.org/carl-rogers.html
Palladino, Connie D. (1994). Developing Self Esteem: A Guide for Positive Success. Menlo Park, California: Crisp Publications.
Vohs, Kathleen D (Editor); Finkel, Eli J. (2006). Self and Relationships: Connecting
Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Processes. New York, NY, USA: Guilford Press. Retrieved from: http://site.ebrary.com/lib/apus/Doc?id=10172290&ppg=48