Jennifer Castillo
EN110
January 5th, 2016
Why College Education is Important to Me

I sometimes feel as though I am resting on the side of a mountain, breathing the crisp air, finally able to experience peace and blissful contentment. Reaching this point was necessarily difficult; full of setbacks, disappointments, reevaluations, fickleness, and uncertainty. I’ve never been one to excel at a trade, and my confidence is not at the level necessary to begin an alternative venture. So…college is a no-brainer, especially given the fact that I’ve wanted to help others in the area of mental health since I was a freshman in high school. Having lived through the darkest of days has further fueled my passion. A college education is important to me because it lays the groundwork in my mission. Completion is the ultimate victory…and who wouldn’t want that? I experienced symptoms depression and social anxiety for as long as I could remember. I was never really social or outgoing, preferring to spend my afternoons in my room writing stories or sketching random creations. As I grew, I soon realized I wasn’t just “shy” or “quiet” ...my reaction to interaction was pretty irrational.
“Socially anxious children tend to become isolated as they are unable to develop a normal network of friends. Often a socially anxious child will have one or two close friends and rely on them for all social interactions. But families relocate, kids change schools, and interests diverge, and it may become necessary to establish new friendships. This is very difficult for socially anxious children, and it tends to become more difficult as they get older” (Stein). I also developed an unhealthy attachment issue as well as being in an emotionally abusive relationship at the age of 16. I believed every single negative comment my partner spewed and truly believed that I was worth nothing. That situation lasted about 2 years.
Immediately after high school, I began taking liberal arts classes at my county college with the idea of transferring into a psychology program afterwards. There were many classes dropped for the most ridiculous reason; I was terrified of public speaking. I ended up completely dropping out and stopped caring about…well, everything. Fast forward to 2014, I was 5 years deep with man-child wandering eyes and a deceptive tongue. I also experienced my first mental breakdown where every aspect of my life fell apart.
Eventually, I left my partner and began soul searching. I began to study manifestation and different motivational methods. 2015 was a year of self-reflection. I found happiness within myself and began living for myself. I matured emotionally and mentally, which was more than necessary in moving forward. I read a Psychology Today article which had an astounding ‘hit the nail on the head’ passage which stuck with me for a while;
“In life, people have many goals (e.g., exercise more, be a better spouse, save more money). However, goals often go unrealized because people lack self-awareness. That is, without monitoring one's current behavior (e.g., tracking how often one gets to the gym), the salience of the discrepancy between one's goal (e.g., hit the gym three times per week) and one's actual behavior (e.g., only going to the gym once this week) is low. Goal pursuit is no different than any other fact of life: out of sight, out of mind. Thus, to improve our chances of reaching our goals, we must remain aware of our current behavior to have a clearer sense of its departure from our goals.” (McConnell 2010).
The missing piece of the puzzle is finishing school. I found Ashworth during a random late night search and saw it was within my modest price range. Since then, everything seems to be falling into place and I finally feel like I’m on the right path. College education is so important to my mental well-being as it gives me confidence and a sense of purpose. It also is the track I need to follow in order to achieve my ultimate goal in helping others. In my darkest of days, I felt absolutely alone and unnecessary. It wasn’t until I talked with my therapist that I found someone on the same mental wavelength as me. I want to do the same for others.