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Active Listening And Conflict Analysis

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Recognizing one’s location regarding conflict is integral to determining which direction they are headed next. To authentically assess where one is situated to conflict, an intersectional criteria of attitude, theology, skills, and spiritual formation are helpful. These four categories are intricately connected and influential to each other, and together they shape a holistic concept of conflict and conflict transformation which is essential in approaching such facets of life with authenticity and integrity.
My attitude regarding conflict is not a healthy one for conflict is unavoidable, particularly for someone seeking life in ordained ministry where mediation will be expected. “Conflict” has long been a dirty word in my mind, though I am …show more content…
One specific skill I bring to mediation and reconciliation is active listening. Through my ministry experiences with those of the elderly population, two aspects of active listening have shaped my interactions; I never complete a sentence unless specifically asked, and I listen attentively rather than plan my response. In active listening one should be comfortable with silence; allowing that silence to fill the room while the speaker contemplates their message or searches for just the right word is important in allowing the speaker to feel authentically and fully heard. If I completed the sentence of someone speaking it would suggest that their voice was less important, it would suggest that I have neither the time nor the inclination to fully listen to them, and it would likely suggest that I found them in some way lacking in intelligence. By holding the sacred space which allows the speaker to openly share their thought, I am performing an act of sacred active listening. Often when listening, I will allow several seconds of silence to permeate the air after one has finished speaking. In this, it gives the speaker the freedom to follow a thought in the direction they feel called, it allows the speaker to delve into the recesses of their mind and include additional information they may have inadvertently left out. By allowing for this space, it …show more content…
When I know I am entering a particularly contentious situation which is highly emotionally charged, regardless of whether I am a mediator or someone deeply involved in the conflict, I take a few moments to engage in some practices which serve to center me for the task ahead; these centering practices include breathing deeply, praying, and performing mental meditation. By inhaling, holding, and exhaling slowly, my heart rate levels out to a resting pattern which allows me to focus more clearly upon the task at hand. A chanting prayer I frequently turn to is, “be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10) as it is a helpful reminder that not only is God present in the room and with all parties involved throughout the conflict, God’s hand is engaged in the entire process. I needn’t worry about “getting it right” because God is ultimately involved and acting in ways which may not be apparent to me. It is a way of “wrapping it up in white light and letting it go,” and releasing the process into God’s almighty work in the world. Reciting this prayer also helps to remind me that a spark of God is in the other person; when I find myself becoming emotionally charged and quick to return judgment, reminding myself that there is a spark of the Divine in the other person reminds me to keep a level head and respond in a way I would wish to be spoken to. When there is opportunity to do so, I will often

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