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Angst: A Short Story

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Angst Never have I been more anxious, agitated, or petrified on what I thought would be one of the most exciting and happy days I’d ever experience when I was a child. My heart was palpitating like a bell that was being struck powerfully, and its beat rung throughout my entire body and out my ears to stand as an eerie reminder that I was falling under the weight of a high school crush; tomorrow that weight would be lifted or it would only be magnified by the feeling of rejection. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t dealt with both before, but that was when the concept was still new to me and the idea of a romantic relationship at that age was awkwardly holding hands in the distance and was far from serious. Now I had felt more mature in that the concept …show more content…
I had felt like this was my first opportunity to appreciate that special bond with someone who I felt was a momentous force in my life. The night before I asked, I could not stand the fact that I had to anticipate how to even attempt this. Subsequently, being completely unaware of the answer left a hollow crater in my gut that felt like a black hole that was slowly inhaling my body rather than what someone else might call butterflies. I thoughtlessly messaged her, as a pseudo way of asking if I had given her the same feelings, and when she answered yes I was totally discombobulated. Despite this, I had insisted on properly asking her out in person and I still believe it was incredibly dorky and humiliating that I couldn’t remain patient resulting in an answer from a far from romantic text message, and another in person shortly …show more content…
However, as soon as I laid my head down it began to drip with nervous and foul smelling sweat, my tongue was pale and my mouth felt as if it were lined with cotton, and each breath became drier and even more nauseating. The night felt protracted as I slowly realized that I likely wasn’t going to be falling asleep. Nevertheless I received around an hour of proper shuteye, but the long arduous night had left the stinging and acidic taste of dehydration in my mouth when I awoke along with a complete lack of peace of mind. I knew that these feelings were a bit ridiculous considering it’s just a high school crush, but I couldn’t help but be bewildered at the novelty of the situation especially because novel situations become so few and far inbetween as you continue to age. She had already informed me that she liked me, but I still felt as if I had to look the best I could so that I could remain positive that I would have the best odds. I groomed my moppy hair to the best of my ability so that my face was visible, for the only time in my life I actually made sure that my clothes had matched in color, and dopily I attempted to smile to the best of my ability in the mirror. I doused myself with such an absurd amount of cologne that my own father could smell it from several feet away and mentioned that I stunk more like liquor

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