How to Win Friends and Influence People
By Dale Carnegie The author starts the book by discussing how the book was written and why. Dale goes on to explain the methods in which he used to compose the book. In preparation for writing the book, Dale researched the subject by using newspaper columns, magazine articles, records of family courts, the writings of old philosophers and new psychologists. Also, Dale hired a trained researcher to spend over a year and a half to find information that Dale had missed. With this information, Dale prepared the short talk “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” The second part of the introduction allows the reader to observe the nine suggestions on how to get the most out of this book. These suggestions include:
• Have a great desire for learning and try to increase your ability to deal with people.
• Reread each chapter to get a better understanding of the information
• Grasp the information you are reading and ask yourself how and when to apply it.
• Use a writing tool when you read and underline the important ideas
• Don’t not think that skimming through this book will be suffice.
• Do something about the principles you are learning in this book
• Make a game out of mastering the rules of the book
• Use a system to check up on the application of the principles in the book.
• Record, in the back of this book, your win’s in the application of these principles.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
“If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive” The underlying factor is that some of the most dangerous people in the world still perceive themselves as innocent and do not take responsibility for their actions. Criticism has a significant role when it comes to how an individual learns and how fast they learn it. If an individual is rewarded for their actions they tend to learn faster, but if a person is criticized, it may inhibit their ability to change with lasting results. For example, when we criticize people, they often become defensive and this puts them in a state of mind that forces them to justify their actions, which can entice resentment towards others and damage their self-esteem. Just like in our MKTG 350 class, when students do role-plays in order to get an understanding of how the sales process works, the instructor and classmates reward the presentation with applause followed up by items they did really well. And when advice is given on how to improve yourself, we coin the phrase “enhancements” not criticisms. Rather than criticize or condemn people, it’s better to try to understand individuals, which in turn will help determine the reasoning behind their motives and is perceived as much nicer and more productive.
The Big Secret of Dealing with People The best way to deal with people is to give them a sense that they are important and that their services are needed. Also, in order to get individuals to do something, we must as a society excite them into doing it. In addition to making people feel important, we must recognize as well as appreciate them. It is the desire for importance that drives individuals to go above and beyond the norm, and this alone allows society to progress and become more efficient as time passes. When the simulation role-plays are completed in MKTG 350, an evaluation sheet is filled out, which helps the individual to understand what they did well and is complimented on them. These compliments are sincere because they are followed up by enhancements, which is more beneficial because your peers want you to improve and just do not write a score of 100 because they like you as a person. It is a matter of finding what an individual does well and sincerely complimenting them, making them aware of the admiration we have for them.
“He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him, He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way”
Put your self-interests aside and concentrate more on the interest of others. This is a powerful way to influence others because you are talking to them more about what interests them and striving to show them a way they can accomplish it. This comes it plat when learning about prospecting in the sales process or when going to a job interview. When trying to land a sale, you put your needs of the customer ahead of your own and try to let them know that you are here to help them, not just trying to make a commission. Similarly in a job interview, you let the other person know your skills and what you can contribute to the company, not just seeking a pay check. By using empathy and putting yourself in the other persons place, this will allow you to see how both parties can benefit.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
Do This and You’ll be Welcomed Anywhere The reality is that people are generally interested in only themselves. In order to get people to admire you, individuals must first show interests in others. Start with simple things by sending anniversary cards, sound excited when indulging in a phone conversation, or taking the advantage to sound sincere when the opportunity presents its self. From my own personal experience, this holds true when making cold calls. The best way to get an appointment with a potential customer is to sound sincere on the phone like you really want to help them and not sound like a salesman looking for the next commission. In summary, the best way to increase the interest in you from others, first increase your interest in them.
A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression This relies on the age old saying “actions speak louder than words.” This holds true because it’s easy to just talk about doing something, but individuals see the sincerity and will admire you more for it when they see you doing it. This can be illustrated by simply acknowledging someone with a sincere smile. A smile that is genuine and not one that looks like it hurts your face. Just like in the sales field when you greet someone, you display a smile that is genuine to give them a sense that you are glad they took the time to invite you to their facility and you truly are there to help them. When a person genuinely smiles, they may get the other person to smile back, which can change even the worst of moods.
If You Do This You are Headed for Trouble In order to show someone that you truly care about their interests and that they are important, remember their name. Often times people tend to not remember the names of people they meet, this can have an underlying consequence because it lets them know how much you value what they say and how much you are willing to help them. In sales, you will never be successful if you do not take the time to permanently implant the names of your customers in your mind. If you fail at this, you will show them the level of importance, which in turn is none, and ultimately this will cost you success. Remembering a person name is one of the easiest ways to show a person’s level of importance, while paying them a subtle compliment.
An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist The best way to get an individual to accept you and develop a good understanding is to give that person your full attention when they are talking. This too must be done with sincerity and shown, not by just sitting there silent. This also makes a person feel important because you express genuine interest in what they say and they have a sense that they are not just talking to hear themselves. In sales or any type of business, being a good listener helps create value for both parties because you understand the needs of others, while learning how to act on them. If you want your conversation to be appreciated and create value for you both, learn how to become a good listener.
How to Interest People Do some research on the person you are going to meet and have a conversation with. Find out what interest them the most. This in turn will show them a level of appreciation and sincerity by putting their interests ahead of you own. In the business world, this is a key factor when building rapport with new customers. Scan their office and try to find some commonality in what they like and talk about it. This creates significance for both parties.
How to Make People Like You Instantly In order for people to like you, an individual must first make the other person feel important. By doing this, you show them respect, praise is meant with sincerity, and they are complimented effortlessly. This is done in sales and throughout the business word in meeting by asking people if we still have time for the meeting, this show them that you know the value and how important their time is. This is a universal feeling that we as humans aspire to; importance.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
You Can’t Win an Argument Trying to win an argument is a lose/lose situation because even if you win, you have proven your partner wrong which will make them feel inferior, lose self-esteem and pride. In the business world, the best way to handle controversy is to avoid it unless absolutely necessary. From my own personal experience, even though you are right the customer is always right. My company produced bad parts due to an outdated drawing, but it was the customers fault because that was the drawing they told us to use, so instead of telling them it was their fault, we took the responsibility and told them it would be taken care of, and they are still a valued customer till this day. When you try to change someone’s mind even though they are wrong and you are right, your efforts will be useless as if you were wrong.
A Sure Way of Making Enemies and How to Avoid It Do not try to express the notion that you are continuously right and smarter than everybody else; this alone will make you more enemies than literally punching someone in the face. Try to look at it from their perspective first and listen to what they have to say. Then you can tell them your opinion and even tell the person you could be wrong. An example of this would be when you conduct a cost benefit analysis and their numbers do not match up with your numbers. Do not solve this by telling them their calculations are wrong, let them discuss the method they used and show them your method; this may help you both solve the problem together. Never be afraid to admit that you can be subject to make a mistake.

If You’re Wrong, Admit It By taking responsibility for our own mistakes, you not only gain the respect of others but also the respect of yourself. This allows you to show the other person that they are relevant and make them feel like they are important. This holds true in the business world because the admittance of a mistake allows you to be trustworthy and this is essential in sales and other business ventures. It’s better to blame yourself than to have someone else do it.
A Drop of Honey The way to make a good first impression is to be friendly. For example, if you go to a sales appointment and the prospect calls you every name in the book, be nice. Bringing yourself to their level will only result in more conflict and no chance for a partnership. This is useful because if you reduce the tension in the air, this may allow them to come down to your level, and you’ll both be nice.
The Secret of Socrates In the beginning, avoid topics or situations that will result in the use of the word “no.” Strive to discuss situations that both parties identify with and emphasize those. Try to say “yes before they say “no.” In the business world you want to ask value added questions and not be pushy. Just like in our sales role-plays, you want to use trial closes and ask a question like “can we move forward?” You want to show that you have common goals.
The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints When trying to persuade someone strive to not say too much, let the other party vent. They know their business and problems better than you. In class we coin the term “mouth vomit,” make sure you ask value questions and let them express themselves, not talk just to talk. This will produce the best results in not only your professional life but also with friends and family.
How to Get Cooperation It’s better to offer suggestions and let the other party draw their own conclusions, rather than force your opinion on them. When talking to a prospect or interviewing for a job, keep a low profile and let them feel like they bring the value for both of you, almost like it was their idea, this will make them have a sense of importance.
A Formula that will Work Wonders for You When someone is wrong, do not condemn them, rather find out why they think that way and try to understand them. One of the best ways to win the sale or the job interview is to use empathy, put yourself in the other parties shoes and try to see where they are coming from. You want to be as passionate about the prospects business as much as you are about your own. This will show them that you really want to help their business succeed and not just get the commission.
What Everybody Wants Let people know that you are open and sincerely care about their ideas and suggestions. Show them that you understand where they are coming from. This will also help to motivate others and get them to listen to you as well. In meetings and job interviews, this is why you must be a good listener to see where the other party is coming from, know their point of view and understand it.
An Appeal that Everybody Likes
In order to influence others, we must be willing to appeal to their best intentions. You want to make the other person look good as well as let them know that their reasoning has value. This holds true in because you want to impress the prospect or job interviewer, so when they feel they have hit a homerun by choosing to do business with you or hiring you, it makes them feel like their reasoning was spot on and that’s why they made the decision.
The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It? When you want people to embrace your ideas, you must make them appealing so people will be drawn to them. You want to show your ideas off with enthusiasm and do it in a spectacular fashion. This is crucial in sales and job interviews because if you wow the prospect or interviewer, this shows them that you have done your research and you want to add value to them not just yourself.
When Nothing Else Works, Try This. Do not create competition just for the sake of winning; you want to create it so you bring out the best in what you do. When you are competing with others to land a job or get that next big account, you must not talk your competition down but show how you are better than them. This will help individuals excel not only in business but also life.

Be a Leader: How To Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin It is better to give sincere admiration before you give unpleasant comments. This holds true in our MKTG class because after every role-play we start off with what the individual did well before giving them positive feedback or “enhancements.”
How to Criticize and Not be Hated for It It is better to use positive feedback or “enhancements,” rather than punishing someone with direct criticism. For example, use the power of giving gifts in order to get your point across, it will make people feel important and this draws attention from their mistakes indirectly. In school and in life, let people know what they do well and why they are important before you point out their mistakes.
Talk About Your Own Mistakes First The acknowledgement to others that we can be wrong and admit to our own mistakes not only will help improve our behavior but also the behavior of others. In MKTG 350, we are asked to even evaluate ourselves on certain things we did well and what we thing we could have done a better job on. You will be respected more by others when you are your own worst critic.
No One Likes to Take Orders It’s better to initially get an individual involved in the process, for instance ask questions like, “Can you take a look at this?” or “Would you do something like this?” People respond better when they feel like they are not being told what to do. It also helps them to feel good when they think their creativity is being utilized. Just like in MKTG 350, we strive to make things creative and realistic, not scripted.
Let the Other Person Save Face I doesn’t matter how I think or feel about an individual, but the way a person feels or thinks about themselves. We as individuals do not have the right to diminish anyone, it not only hurts them but also hurts ourselves. This why we do not criticize directly, but use positive feedback to help improve individuals.
How to Spur People onto Success. We as individuals are always quick to show criticisms towards others, but the best way to motivate and inspire someone is to shower them with praise. When a person fells they are doing certain things well, they will strive to improve on things they are lacking. Star with the positives and finish with the enhancements.
Give a Dog a Good Name There is nothing better than complimenting someone on their past accomplishments or letting them know that you feel they have not reached their full potential yet. This will motivate people to progress in business and in life. This lets them know that the more work and practice you put into something, the better off you’ll be. From my own experience, cold calling new prospects is not something that comes with ease, you must practice it in order to develop a thick skin in order to handle rejection.

Making the Fault Easy to Correct Individuals shouldn’t put people down or tell them they are not cut out to complete jobs. We should always try to show encouragement, stand behind them, and let them know that we have faith in their abilities. Let the individual know that the task is easy to accomplish. Just like in MKTG 350, your partner that prospects you in the role-play sits up there with you and gives encouragement helping you to complete the task.
Making People Glad to Do What you Want When you want to change someone’s attitude or behavior, you should be sincere, know exactly what you want them to do, put yourself in their place, think of the benefits the other person will receive, and make sure these benefits line up with what the other person wants. This is the blueprint not only to be a good salesperson but also a good person in life.
Summary
I’m pleased with the opportunity to read this book. I felt that the meaning was clear, concise, and easy to read. I think Dale speaks and writes what he feels and uses personnel experiences to back up his points. The book was interesting because it puts in perspective that we should act as humans first by helping to maintain the other person’s emotions and dignity. The one criticism I would have is that the book did seem a little redundant at times, but overall really well written and I would recommend this read to others.