Case Study Analysis
Overview
Carl must coordinate the new hire orientation, which is not limited to but includes scheduling the mandatory drug screening, examining the company and organization policies, and completing necessary new hire paperwork. Carl is currently behind on getting the task required completed. A range of items are missing that will allow the task necessary to complete the requirements in a timely manner with each of the goals from leadership getting met, including mandatory drug testing and paperwork missing from applicants files. One item to be addressed is the creation of an organized plan of action that includes a timeline of task, and events that must be completed [The passive voice is a form of "be" (be) and a participle (completed). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs officious and tedious to read. Prefer the active voice. For example, passive voice = The paper was completed on time. Active voice = the student completed the paper on time. See Center for Writing Excellence > Tutorials & Guides > Grammar & Writing Guides > Active & passive voice] . The time for the completion of final plans is quickly approaching with several technical issues needing to have resolution. Having ["having" as a transitive verb is vague. Reconsider the sentence using "possessing," "acquiring," "developing," etc. Often "having" can be deleted] this in mind we [Use "we," "us," or "our" to mean yourself and coauthors, not general humanity (or yourself and the reader)] will develop courses of action that will aid Carl complete his task on time.
Background
Carl Robins is a new campus recruiter with ABC Inc. Carl has been assigned the task of hiring 15 new employees. The employees will be working for the Operations Supervisor Monica Carrolls. Monica has also required that Carl do the new employee orientation and ensure all [Writing suggestion: "All" or "all of" used as an intensifier very often can be removed with no loss of meaning] new hire procedures are followed [Passive voice ] . Some of the procedures require that the new employees get a drug screening. The drug screening is company policy and must be followed [Passive voice ] so that the workers can start work. On June 15th the new hires are to start orientation and be trained [Passive voice ] and ready for work by July. In early April the new employees were notified of the employment opportunity. During a status update on May 15th Carl assured [Check spelling: "Assure" means "to give confidence to"; "Ensure" means "to make certain, to guarantee"] Monica that everything was on track for her new employees to be trained [Passive voice ] and ready for work in July. About 2 [Write out numbers under 10] weeks later Carl decided to review the employee packets and found that most of the packets were not complete. Seeing that the packets were not complete and that time was running out Carl began to worry. In addition to the packets being [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--If not a noun (as in "human being"), the word "Being" is hard to imagine; it means "existing." Try to rewrite this without using "being"--with action words like "attending," "working," "living," "experiencing," simply "as"--or even removing "being" completely] incomplete, Carl discovered that that [Remove one "that," and the meaning will be the same] training room he wanted will not be available due to [Check word usage: This phrase is most accurate in referring to something owed ($5 due) or an arrival time (due at 6:00)--try "because" or "because of"] another class going on during the month of June.
Problem
Concerns that have been identified [Passive voice ] are numerous, but it is necessary to focus on some of the most obvious. The time to accomplish the task that must be completed [Passive voice ] is limited [Passive voice ] . Carl has delayed on properly planning for his assignment and neglected some the [Usage: Some of the] most basic rules. The backward planning process was used [Passive voice ] by Carl. Had he utilized [Review word choice: "Utilize" can be used to mean "make good use of." For other meanings, such as "place in service" or "employ," the preferred word is "used" ] this process he may have avoided his current predicament. By not having had requested help or researched the amount time that was needed [Passive voice ] to get the drug screening done has further hampered the ability to complete the task to meet his deadline. In addition Carl did not review the applicants’ packets as they came in to ensure that the proper paperwork was gathered [Passive voice ] . Carl also failed to check with facilities to schedule the training room he wanted to use for the orientation. A Key item Carl failed to create was a checklist or an outline that he could follow that would safeguard him from missing critical checkpoints that he could utilize to judge his progress, and verify thoroughness of each applicants [Check spelling--Possessive applicant's] ‘packet.
Alternative Approach
The first step that should have been applied would be to start with the target date and work with the DMP (Decision Making [These two words should be hyphenated if used as an adjective] Process) In the decision making process you [Eliminate second person (you, your) in academic documents and avoid addressing the reader directly. Prefer third-person pronouns (he, she, they, it)] start with end goal [Redundant. A goal is the final object of effort; "end" is unnecessary] and work yourself [second person] backward. You [second person] would concisely state [Avoid splitting a verb (state) from its modal (would). Try "...would state concisely" or "concisely would state"] what your [second person] completed task would look like. Then you [second person] part the sections from end to front that need to be completed [Passive voice ] to get you the finished product. To stay on task you must set benchmarks to follow up on where you are in the process. Carl must be aware of any possible roadblocks or distractors that he might [Check word choice: Use "might" to indicate an uncertain possibility. Use "may" for a possibility almost a sure thing] encounter. In the case here the finish line is to have the employees working in July having had their drug screening, and orientation completed along with the required paperwork completed. Creating a check list [The preceding two words are spelled as one word] from that point would have the target date and the required steps to get to that point. Carl would point out [This is a phrasal verb, two words that together mean something different from their individual definitions--looking up each word in the dictionary would not produce the meaning, which could cause misinterpretation in an international business communication. Try different wording, such as simply a form of "indicate," "show," "highlight," etc.] the need to schedule the training room immediately understanding that resource space is limited [Passive voice ] and is assigned on first come first-served bases. Knowing that the date to start orientation was a fixed point in time [Redundancy: in this context, "point" means a particular instant in time, so "in time" is redundant] ; this makes the need for a training room a known item, and by completing the coordination of the room could be checked [Passive voice ] off, allowing other activities to move forward. Once the room has been retained [Passive voice ] , the next point of order on the checklist would be to immediately schedule [Doctoral rule (but good advice for any academic writer)--avoid a split infinitive; consider placing the adverb (immediately) before or after the infinitive (to schedule )--try "immediately to schedule " or "to schedule immediately" (or place "immediately" later in the sentence)] the drug screening allowing for [This is a phrasal verb, two words that together mean something different from their individual definitions--looking up each word in the dictionary would not produce the meaning, which could cause misinterpretation in an international business communication. Try different wording, such as simply "allowing" or a form of "provides," "permits," etc.] time to get the test results back in a timely manner and give applicants adequate time to ensure that they can make it to the appointments. This would also discover any possible failures giving more time to acquire new applicants and replacing the failed applicant if the need were presented [Passive voice ] . As stated in a study conducted by the Florida welfare department, and reported on by the Tampa Tribune, they noted that”2 percent of the those enrolled in welfare programs test positive during drug screening” (WHITTENBURG, C [Leave out author's initials in the in-text citation] Tampa Tribune, 2011, p. 1) While ["While" is accurate in linking simultaneous events (meaning "during"), but if that is not the case here, use "although," "whereas," "and," or "but"] the applicants are getting their drug screenings the physicals should also be scheduled [Passive voice ] as to [This is an awkward expression; replace it with "about," "regarding," "of," or "for"] remove the time that would be wasted [Passive voice ] going back and forth with multiple medical appointments. The company would also receive the physical results at the same time as the drug testing results. Carl at this point must ask for assistance to get the employee packets that he has completed in time to start orientation. He will need to go through the packets carefully and verify what documents are missing. With the list of missing paperwork, those assisting can notify the applicants and have them submit the paperwork that is [Wordiness: see if you can remove "that" or "that is"] needed [Passive voice ] to complete the packets.
Conclusion
Carl with the assistance of additional support will meet his deadline. Utilizing clear goals and timelines, he will be able to stay focused and deliver a well-produced product. It is ultimately the use of a clear consistent process and approach to each assignment that will have Carl; going forward, that [Remove comma before "that" preceding a restrictive phrase (otherwise replace "that" with "which")] allow him to have continued success and to avoid the pitfalls of wasted time, energy, and panic. Strict obedience to proven time management and decision making process will leave Carl feeling [Style suggestion: if "feeling" is used in the sense of "to believe or think," it is a cliché and vague; use "believing" or "thinking"] less stress and accomplishing more with his time.