1. What is a crucial confrontation? What are the consequences of not holding crucial confrontations or of confronting poorly? Crucial confrontation is a skill to deal with broken promises and failed expectations to improve performance and relationships. The consequences of not holding crucial confrontations or of confronting poorly are damage relationships, repeat pattern of undesired behaviors and performance.

2. Describe the Path to Action. What causes our emotions? Path to Action is retracing steps from when you first see & hear to how you tell yourself stories to how you feel and finally act on it. Your brain follows these steps that lead to your conclusions about the other person’s behaviors. Emotions are cause by our feelings. Our feelings are affected by something that the other person might have said or something that he or she did.
3. How do the stories we tell affect the way we handle crucial confrontations? The stories you tell yourself about why others did what they did can affect how you view those people. It may be that you are telling yourself ugly stories. You may be only seeing what you want to see because of your feelings. In order to have the right confrontation, don’t tell yourself ugly stories, share your good intentions and seek common ground. This is called starting with safety.
4. What are the six sources of influence that affect human behavior? The six sources of influence are Personal Motivation, Personal Ability, Social Motivation, Social Ability, Structural Motivation and Structural Ability.
5. How can the six-source model help us tell different stories and influence our emotions? By using the six source model, we can see personal, social, and environmental factors that affect motivation and ability which causes the behaviors in the other person. That way, we may change our stories or have a better understanding about why the person behaved the way he or she did and have the right information and emotions to confront that person and resolve the issues.
6. When describing the gap, why do we have to worry about making it safe? What makes people feel unsafe? We have to worry about making it safe because we don’t want to look like we are attacking the person. Making it safe is important because the other person might feel threatened, offended or is on defensive. People feel unsafe when they know they might have done something wrong or when they feel they are being accused.
7. Why is it tempting for us to use power to attain results? What are the costs of using our power? It is tempting for us to use power to attain results because we want to get it over with. We usually want quick results. We also can feel vulnerable when others disagree with us or choose not to do something. We don’t want them to have power over us so we use our power. Also, we think power is the only way to go. We argued that people only respond to power. We also tend to follow the footsteps of our leaders who show or use power. We do the same thing and use power and this is mainly because we think we can get away with it. We act as though we are doing what we are supposed to do or doing the right thing when in fact, we are using our power.

8. What are several ways to help others see the natural consequences of their actions? One way to make the invisible visible is to hold up a mirror by communicating how the person’s actions will be seen by others. You can also link to the person’s sense of self by showing how their actions disagree with who they are. You can even reveal how the right behaviors can be a benefit to them in the future. This is called connect to existing carrots and sticks.
9. What are two common mistakes we make when asking others for their ideas? Common mistakes that we need to avoid when asking others for their ideas are avoiding the temptation to leap in with a suggestion; don’t poisoning the well; don’t discourage others, don’t worry about having to know everything; don’t play “Read My Mind”, and don’t feel the need to solve everything.
10. What does “Pop the Question” mean? “Pop the Question” has to do with asking if the person will be motivated to do the desired behaviors if ability barriers are removed. If the person is already motivated, you can ask if he or she is able to do the desired tasks or behaviors now.