In my first ice breaker speech, it was very nerve racking for me to spend close to 6 mins telling everyone my growing up story which has caused me to be so afraid of speaking publicly. It would not have been possible for me to get that speech out that night had i not embraced my vulnerability, k i am enough, had the courage to be imperfect and i wanted to let myself be seen as thats the way to make the connection with people, and i think i did that night And it is all of these that drove me to be in the arena, instead of taking the backseat. the talk was flawed and imperfect but i walked into the arena and gave it my best shot. The willingness to show up changes us, it makes us a little braver each time. The minute i was done, i knew that if it flopped, it had been totally worth doing. Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Elena. And what i have just mentioned above, relates to the topic of my speech tonight, which is daring greatly, a topic that many of you are probably familiar with as it’s one of the greatest booked written by Dr Brene Brown. There were many great things written in her book. However, for the purpose of next few minutes, i am going to pick up some of her work from her second book, Daring Greatly, which has helped me to stand in front of all of you today and i sincerely hope that this would help some of you too. Most of below are taken from the book Daring Greatly by Dr Brene Brown. Just few days ago, i decided that i sent Mike an email and just cancel the whole thing, as i wanted it to be perfect, i don’t definitely don’t want to look bad without sufficient preparation. Then i open the first few pages of her book again, Daring Greatly, on Wednesday night, i realise that had i cancelled it, this would go against what i have learnt her book. And what she said is this “when we spend our lives waiting until we are perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our previous time, we turn our backs on our gifts. Perfection doesn’t exist, perfection prevents us from being seen. A one day prepared speech is better than a 4 week prepared speech that i don’t get to do. And so she said, We must walk into the arena, rather than sitting on the sidelines, we must dare to show up and let allowselves be seen. This is vulnerability and this is daring greatly. And so i decided to do the speech. We are constantly living in this never enough culture that we are not enough. We are afraid that our truth isn;t enough, that what we have to offer isn;t enough. We are afraid to walk on this stage to show the audience our real self. And sometimes this has got to do with shame which is the fear disconnection, and intense feeling that we are flawed. But if we don’t come to terms with our shame, we start believing theres something wrong with us. we can’t let ourselves be seen if we are terrified by what people might think. So first, We need to believe that we're enough. Second, sometimes we attach our self-worth to what we do, for e.g., if we attach our self worth to the speech that we are giving now, we would be in deep trouble. Yes we would want people to like our speech and what we talk about, but our self worth is not on the able. We are far more than a good speech. Yes it would be disappointing if people don’t buy it, but this effort is about what you do, and not who you are. Regardless of the outcome, you have already dared greatly and that’s totally aligned with your values with who you want to be. When our self-worth isn’t on the line, we are far more willing to be courageous and risk sharing our talents and gift. Third, i find these 2 strategies from Brene particularly helpful. if someone is also in the arena and occasionally getting his or her butt kicked, i am more likely to pay attention to your thoughts about my work. second, i carry a small sheet of paper in my walletbthat has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on this list, you have to love me not despite of my imperfection, but because of it. It is only a short list with 3 names. Theres this great quote from the movie Almost Famous that says: the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you hare with someone else when you are uncool. These are some of the approaches which could help us to dare greatly. Believe that we are enough, have the courage to be imperfect, knowing our self worth, forget the critic, and allow ourselves to be seen. DARING GREATLY is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. As i now look back on my own life of constantly taking a back seat, and this is true story for me, i can honestly say this: nothing is as uncomfortable and disappointing as believing that i am standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if i had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.