PHILIPPINES, ARE YOU READY FOR DIVORCE? Panel Discussion

Manila Business College April 26, 2013 4-5 PM

Moderator: We will begin in a minute please settle on your seats. I am Justine Toleran and I am your moderator for today's panel discussion. Before we begin, I would like to make a few announcements: Please turn all cell phones off or to vibrating modes, so as not to disrupt the event. If you have a question, please raise your hand. We will start the question and answer portion after all the panelists have spoken. Philippines, are you ready for divorce?! Our first panelist is Dr. Elainee Menor, she received her Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and was one of 7 Magna Cum Laude and was adjudged Most Outstanding Graduate for 1973 by the U.P. Alumni Association. She was elected into membership of the International Honor Societies of the Phi Kappa Phi and Pi Gamma Mu. What is remarkable despite all these achievements is that she is a good listener and extends to everyone regardless of shape, status of virginity, economic class, ethnicity, gender and all. She never stops learning, understanding and sharing. No amount of educational training alone could develop the intelligent heart she possesses. Please welcome Dr. Elainee Menor.

Elainee Menor:

Good day everyone. First, failed Marriages are at a ALL-TIME high in the Philippines today. It is prevalent in ALL sectors of society. Rich, middle class & poor, Catholics & Non-Catholics, residents of Metro Manila & Provinces, and is Prevalent in ALL Age groups ! Even Filipinos in their 50's are deciding to part ways.

My point? Staying in a marriage for the sake of the children or for religious reasons has proven to be damaging particularly for marriages that involved verbal, mental or physical abuse, alcohol, drugs or adultery.

In fact, study after study in the last 20 year across the world of adults growing up in families of parents who decided to stay together but had a very poor quality marriage with lots of instances of fighting, yelling, mental & verbal attacks, even physical attacks RESULTED in DEEP mental & psychological Damage to their children as their mature into becoming adults.

Many children actually repeat that cycle when they find their partners & marry later in life.

Staying in a marriage no matter what is NOT & has NEVER been a solution .

Its a Myth that is pushed by Religious groups but is strongly contested by the medical profession.

Moderator: Thank you, Ms Menor. What a way to start. Moving on our next panelist is an Activist, educator, feminist, public official, Gabriela Represantative, Jane Fernando is known as different things to different people, depending on whose life she has touched and in what capacity. Her reputation for excellence and integrity encompasses all of the positions she has occupied, and is recognized not just in Davao City, where she was born and raised, but all over the country. She is one of the few and select luminaries Mindanao claims as its very own, a distinction she has cultivated over the years by hard work and good will, but never capitalized for personal gain or glory.

Jane Fernando:

In the Filipino culture, marriage is regarded as a sacred union, and the family founded on marriage is considered as a fount of love, protection and care. Philippine society generally frowns upon and discourages marital break-ups and so provides cultural and legal safeguards to perserve marital relations. Cultural prescriptions and religious norms keep many couples together despite the breakdown of the marriage. But the cultural prescriptions for women and men differ. Women are traditionally regarded as primarily responsible for making the marriage work and are expected to sacrifice everything to preserve the marriage and the solidarity of the family. While absolute fidelity is demanded of wives, men are granted sexual license to have affairs outside marriage. Yet when the marriage fails, the woman is blamed for its failure.

The bill also proposes that the custody of any minor child shall be decided by the court in accordance with the best interests of the child and their support provided in accordance with the Family Court provisions on support.

The sanctity of marriage is not based on the number of marriages existing but on the quality of marital relationships. When a marriage is no longer viable, divorce should be an option.

Moderator: Its getting hot in here. Let us cool down and listen to what our third panelist point of view. She is the youngest woman elected in the history of the Philippine Senate. She has pushed for the passage of several measures benefitting women, children and the elderly, while also working to improve public health and social services for the poor and marginalized. Fought for the passage of two landmark laws, the Reproductive Health Act (RA 10354) and the Sin Tax Reform Act (RA 10351). She has also published a memoir, 'My Daily Race'. A mother, triathlete, entrepreneur, and public servant. A proof that there’s no limit to what Filipino women can achieve, ladies an gentlemen Senator Airish Salindong.

Airish: I really think it’s high time for the divorce bill. I’ll tell you why. I’ve talked to lawyers and psychologists and psychiatrists and it’s so traumatic to go through annulment because under our Philippine laws, you have to blame someone, you have to say you’re incapacitated, you’re saying that this marriage never existed, which is not true. Ask anyone, I’m sure at some point in time whether it’s one year or 10 years or 20 years, they loved each other, so why can’t you call it what it is? We loved each other, something went wrong, it’s done. Why will you say it never existed?
It’s terrible. It’s not true, it’s not humane. So for me, it’s high time. Let’s bring it to the level where it should be and call it a divorce and deal it that way.

Moderator: For our next panelist, she is one of the pioneers of Pro-Life Philippines'. She don't usually show herself in public discussions like this, thats why the whole team were overwhelmed. Let us give a round of applause for, Sr Erica Ramirez.

Erica:
Divorce will not be a very good development, in my own personal opinion, especially after the RH bill that has so severely divided the nation, it will further divide the country. It will also destroy the very sacred nature of marriage, I feel sad because some people, or many of the legislators, have the belief that anything they legislate is good and it’s for the good of the country, what’s next? Same-sex marriage, abortion, etcetera? This is part of the plan of the people who want to destroy the family and life, this is part of the culture of death. We should protect the sanctity of marriage, as marriage is a life-long commitment. Any marital problem cannot be solved by divorce. What will solve it is finding the root cause of the problem. We are against the introduction of the divorce bill in Congress. We stand by the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ on the sanctity of marriage and the value of the family to the national life and to the life of society. We cannot compromise what God teaches us. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures and spiritual attitudes, the Scripture speaks throughout of marriage and its ‘mystery,’ its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end, its various realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and its renewal ‘in the Lord’ in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church.

Moderator: Last but not most most nmost definitely not the least, is member of the Philippine Senate since 2007. He previously served as a member of the Philippine House of Representatives from the 1st District Sorsogon, and as the Minority Floor Leader of the 13th Congress of the Philippines on his third and last House term. Please welcome, Hon. Shaira Donato.

Shaira:
In my view, there is a serious disagreement between the government, Congress and the Church over the Reproductive Health bill, so this is not the right time to exacerbate this legally, the ground and basis for annulment should have existed at the time you were married. There is a catchphrase that allows a small window for divorce. In Article 36 of the Family Code, the basis for psychological incapacity as a ground for annulment must exist at the time of marriage, and this is the questionable phrase, even though it became apparent after the marriage. So it’s a ‘not here nor there, which does not jibe with the legal and technical difference of divorce and annulment.

Moderator: Wow! How was that? How are you doing everyone? This my favorite part, the question and answer portion. Please raise your hand, state your name and your question. Let's keep the ball rolling.

Do we really need divorce?

The answer for me is yes! Divorce in the Philippines is a matter of great concern only to the middle class, since it hardly matters to the very rich and to the very poor.

Rich couples who want to bring an end to their marital union could very well split up and leave the dirty details to their lawyers. They can certainly afford the long and expensive process of seeking a declaration of nullity both from the Church and from the courts. Or they can move abroad and seek a divorce there. Otherwise, they can simply brazen out their separated status, their still-existing union becoming relevant only if the matter of inheritance or division of assets arises upon the death of one spouse.

Having nothing to divide or dispute, impoverished couples have little motivation to go through the expense and inconvenience of a legal process. Couples shack up with little fuss, and end their co-habitation with little or no fanfare. Having no social status to protect, they beget children with little thought to their legitimacy or illegitimacy. Ironically, it’s when they seek to enroll their children in school that the matter of a birth certificate and parentage arises. If it’s a Catholic school, the matter of the parents’ marriage (or lack of it) or the child’s legitimacy might even be brought up.

So to say that divorce does not exist in present Philippine law is not accurate. The prohibition against divorce under Philippine law applies only to Filipinos whose marriages are not governed by the Muslim Code. Since Philippine law on marriage applies to all Filipino citizens even though they are residing in a foreign country, the prohibition against divorce for non-Muslim Filipinos is also a concern of Filipino expatriates.

We are the only country in the world that has no divorce law for all its citizens regardless of religious belief or affiliation.

What are the effects of Divorce?

What is the advantages and disadvantages of divorce?

What are the benefits after divorce?