Eye contact
Eye Contact
Eye contact is an important aspect of non-verbal behaviour. In interpersonal interaction, it serves three main purposes: * To give and receive feedback: Looking at someone lets them know that the receiver is concentrating on the content of their speech. Not maintaining eye contact can indicate disinterest. Communication may not be a smooth process if a listener averts their eyes too frequently. * To let a partner know when it is their 'turn' to speak: This is related to the above point. Eye contact is more likely to be continuous when someone is listening, rather than speaking. When a person has finished what they have to say, they will look directly at the other person and this gives a signal that the arena is open. If someone does not want to be interrupted, eye contact may be avoided. * To communicate something about a relationship between people: When you dislike someone, you tend to avoid eye contact and pupil size is often reduced. On the other hand, the maintenance of positive eye contact signals interest or attraction in a partner.

It's well known that good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, be it personal or professional. It's important to recognize, though, that it's our nonverbal communication—our facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and tone of voice—that speak the loudest. The ability to understand and use nonverbal communication, or body language, is a powerful tool that can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, and build better relationships.

Eye contact
Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.
Did you know that eye contact is like Goldilocks and the three bears? It’s true. Too much eye contact is instinctively felt to be rude, hostile and condescending; and in a business context, it may also be perceived as a deliberate intent to dominate, intimidate, belittle, or make “the other” feel at a disadvantage. (Which was how Goldilocks felt when the bears caught her eating their porridge). So unless you have in mind doing one of those things, it’s better to avoid too much eye contact. Too little, on the other hand, can make you appear uneasy, unprepared, and insincere. In its analysis of patients’ complaints, for example, one large county hospital found, that 9-out-of-10 letters included mention of poor doctor-patient eye contact; a failure which was generally interpreted as “lack of caring.” “Just the right” amount of eye contact – the amount that produces a feeling of mutual likability and trustworthiness – will vary with situations, settings, personality types, gender and cultural differences. As a general rule, though, direct eye contact ranging from 30% to 60% of the time during a conversation – more when you are listening, less when you are speaking – should make for a comfortable productive atmosphere. And did you know these other facts about eye contact? • Eye contact produces a powerful, subconscious sense of connection that extends even to drawn or photographed eyes; a fact demonstrated by Researchers at Cornell University who manipulated the gaze of the cartoon rabbit on several Trix cereal boxes, asked a panel of adults to choose one, and discovered, as they expected, that the box most frequently chosen was the one on which the rabbit was looking directly at them, rather than away. • We reduce eye contact when we are talking about something shameful or embarrassing, when we are sad or depressed, and when we are accessing internal thoughts or emotions. • We increase eye contact when dealing with people we like, admire, or who have power over us. In more intense or intimate conversations we naturally look at each another more often and hold that gaze for longer periods of time. In fact, we judge relationships by the amount of eye contact exchanged: the greater the eye contact, the closer the relationship. • Females look more at those they are talking to than do males. That’s one of the reasons women prefer a face-to-face conversation, while men are content to talk standing side-by-side. • We avoid eye contact in elevators, subways, crowded buses or trains – in elevators we face the door, in the others we stare at our Smartphones – because it helps us manage the insecurity of having our personal space invaded. Waiters may avoid eye contact to send customers the signal, “I’m too busy to deal with you right now.” Employees often keep their eyes down when the boss appears with a tricky question or looks like he’s going to ask for volunteers. • The biggest body language myth about liars is that they avoid eye contact. While some liars (most often, children) find it difficult to lie while looking directly at you, many liars, especial the most brazen, actually overcompensate to “prove” that they are not lying by making too much eye contact and holding it too long. • If a speaker actively seeks out eye contact when talking, he or she is judged to be more believable, confident and competent. Eye contact is so powerful a force because it is connected with humans’ earliest survival patterns. Children who could attract and maintain eye contact, and therefore increase attention, had the best chance of being fed and cared for. Today, newborns instinctively lock eyes with their caregivers. And the power of that infantile eye contact still retains its impact on the adult mind. Whether it’s shifty-eyed guilt or wide-eyed innocence, we automatically assign enormous credence to the signals we give and get when we look into each other in the eyes. Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. is an international keynote speaker and the author of “The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help – or Hurt – How You Lead.” For more information or to view videos, go to www.CKG.com.

Although eye contact and facial expressions are often linked together, the eyes could transmit a message of their own.Eye contact is a type of nonverbal communication that is strongly influenced by social behaviour. In the western civilizations, eye contact is most often defined as a sign of confidence. Eye contact is not consistent amongst different religions, cultures and social backgrounds. Examples * Cultural Differences: * In Asia (including Middle East), keeping eye contact with someone of authority implies rudeness and can be mistaken as a provoking mean of communication. * In Western societies, eye contact can imply empathy and comes across as a type of emotional connection. * In the 19th century, the Spanish women used eye contact to say what they couldn't express explicitly. * In some Asian countries, avoiding eye contact is a sign of respect. * Religious Differences: * In extremist religions, eye contact is sometimes frowned upon amongst people of the opposite sex. * Muslim women lower their gaze when in the presence of men. Eye contact can indicate how interested a person is in the communication taking place. It could also suggest trust and truthfulness. Often, then people are being untruthful, they tend to look away and resist eye contact (Eye Aversion [blog]). Furthermore, eye contact portrays someone's involvement and attention. Attention is a function of eye contact that can be both negatively and positively affect by a person's gaze. The latter can show confidence, anger, fear,... A person's direction of gaze is important. To engage in a productive communicative session, attention must given. Looking away often demonstrate a lack of involvement in the conversation. Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction and communication. A lack of eye contact is not a cause of this disease, but can often be a sign of its presence. This lack of eye contact provides information on how the individual's lack of attention can lead to a lack of communication skills. People suffering from social anxiety (or social phobia) also resist eye contact, although this does not necessarily mean that there is a lack of attention. | Important aspects of gaze: * Looking while talking: This establishes a rapport with the person listening. * Looking while listening: This reciprocates the rapport established. This aspect is often used during emotional connections such as flirting. * Frequency of glance: This indicated involvement and how invested one is to the conversation. * Patterns of fixation: This provides evidence as to where the attention lies. * Pupil Dilation: This could often provide proof of interest and boredom.Cited from Let's Focus on Eye Contact: (link bellow)How Maintaining Eye Contact Can and Will Benefit You:In a sales position it is imperative that the sales agent maintain the dominant role. The most effective method of doing so is by portraying confidense. And, as you’re probably thinking, eye contact is one of the most effective ways to do that.In a sales position whoever is in control of the sale will usually establish eye contact while the more submissive party will avoid it. The same can be said of every argument and confrontation you’ve ever been in. Eye contact is empowering, and because of the natural communicative signals that it sends to the other parties, maintaining it facilitates effective communicaiton.Studies have shown that maintaining eye contact can effectively reduce tension in a conversation, show an image of assertion, and conveys respect. Though, by the same means, too much eye contact can portray aggression, hostility, and even anger. The “death stare” can infuriate someone without you having to mutter a single word.Take some time to commit to teaching yourself to use eye contact naturally. When you’re talking to someone quickly glance at their eyes and notice their level of committment to the conversation.Over time maintaining eye contact will become natural and you will notice a difference in your conversations. |

Although eye contact and facial expressions are often linked together, the eyes could transmit a message of their own.

Eye contact is a type of nonverbal communication that is strongly influenced by social behaviour. In the western civilizations, eye contact is most often defined as a sign of confidence. Eye contact is not consistent amongst different religions, cultures and social backgrounds.

Examples * Cultural Differences:
In Asia (including Middle East), keeping eye contact with someone of authority implies rudeness and can be mistaken as a provoking mean of communication. * In Western societies, eye contact can imply empathy and comes across as a type of emotional connection. * In the 19th century, the Spanish women used eye contact to say what they couldn't express explicitly. * In some Asian countries, avoiding eye contact is a sign of respect. * Religious Differences: * In extremist religions, eye contact is sometimes frowned upon amongst people of the opposite sex. * Muslim women lower their gaze when in the presence of men.
Eye contact can indicate how interested a person is in the communication taking place. It could also suggest trust and truthfulness. Often, then people are being untruthful, they tend to look away and resist eye contact (Eye Aversion [blog]).
Furthermore, eye contact portrays someone's involvement and attention. Attention is a function of eye contact that can be both negatively and positively affect by a person's gaze. The latter can show confidence, anger, fear,...

A person's direction of gaze is important. To engage in a productive communicative session, attention must given. Looking away often demonstrate a lack of involvement in the conversation. Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction and communication. A lack of eye contact is not a cause of this disease, but can often be a sign of its presence. This lack of eye contact provides information on how the individual's lack of attention can lead to a lack of communication skills. People suffering from social anxiety (or social phobia) also resist eye contact, although this does not necessarily mean that there is a lack of attention.
Important aspects of gaze: * Looking while talking: This establishes a rapport with the person listening. * Looking while listening: This reciprocates the rapport established. This aspect is often used during emotional connections such as flirting. * Frequency of glance: This indicated involvement and how invested one is to the conversation.
Patterns of fixation: This provides evidence as to where the attention lies. * Pupil Dilation: This could often provide proof of interest and boredom.
Cited from Let's Focus on Eye Contact: (link bellow)

How Maintaining Eye Contact Can and Will Benefit You:
In a sales position it is imperative that the sales agent maintain the dominant role. The most effective method of doing so is by portraying confidense. And, as you’re probably thinking, eye contact is one of the most effective ways to do that.
In a sales position whoever is in control of the sale will usually establish eye contact while the more submissive party will avoid it. The same can be said of every argument and confrontation you’ve ever been in. Eye contact is empowering, and because of the natural communicative signals that it sends to the other parties, maintaining it facilitates effective communicaiton.
Studies have shown that maintaining eye contact can effectively reduce tension in a conversation, show an image of assertion, and conveys respect. Though, by the same means, too much eye contact can portray aggression, hostility, and even anger. The “death stare” can infuriate someone without you having to mutter a single word.
Take some time to commit to teaching yourself to use eye contact naturally. When you’re talking to someone quickly glance at their eyes and notice their level of committment to the conversation.
Over time maintaining eye contact will become natural and you will notice a difference in your conversations.

Eye Contact in Business Communication:

In the business world, establishing eye contact shows confidence. Evoking this confidence leads to maintaining a respectable, authoritative, professional and competent allure. However, strong eye contact could portray someone's arrogance, overconfidence and could be seen as aggression.

At least 65 percent of communication is non-verbal. If more people understood this, they might spend more energy on how they speak, not just on which words they choose when speaking.
A person who stands up straight and looks you in the eye while speaking will get more attention and respect, in general, than a speaker who slouches and has difficulty maintaining eye contact. The two speakers may use the exact same words, and even have an equal understanding of the subject on which they speak. But the one who uses non-verbal communication techniques well will seem to know more than the other.

As a small-business owner or leader, it is important to understand aspects of business etiquette for your dealings with business partners, associates and employees that you train. Eye contact is one key element of business etiquette. Appropriately engaging people you engage with is important to projecting the right attitude and image.
Appropriate eye contact includes around three to five seconds of constant engagement of a listener before you look away. Typically, in a conversation, you look the other person in the eye when speaking or listening, then look away briefly to reflect or ponder your next thought. Eye contact is equally important whether talking or listening. When you talk, eye contact helps you capture attention. When you listen, eye contact shows that you have genuine interest in what the other person says.
The point of proper eye contact is that it conveys specific messages in a conversation or presentation. When speaking, eye contact projects an image of professionalism. It also shows that you have confidence in yourself and what you say. Your eyes strengthen your message when you have passion and enthusiasm for your company, products or services. Eye contact also shows respect for the other person, whether you speak or listen.
Related Reading: Good Business Etiquette
In general, the worst thing you can do is not engage the other party at all with your eyes. This conveys disinterest or lack of engagement with the other person. You can also misfire with eye contact that is too brief or excessive. Irregular or fragmented eye contact suggests you are nervous, lack confidence or are distracted by things going on around you. None of these are positive messages. Overly long eye contact either projects a domineering attitude or possible romantic interest in the other party.
While eye contact is a universal nonverbal communication method, its meaning can vary across cultures. In Western Europe, I contact carries a similar meaning as it does in the U.S., as it is viewed as polite. In Asia, Africa and Latin America, though, prolonged eye contact is generally regarded as disrespectful or challenging. Thus, if you do business with people from those cultures, it is important to consider this difference in the field. Brief eye contact is common, but it is important not to stare or lock eyes for too long.