FAMILY DYNAMICS

Relationships in Marriage and the Family

Instructor: Donnie Hilliard

Faulkner University

April 24, 2012

Shannon Hendricks

In my reading of the chapters that dealt with what relationships are about I pondered over the parts that dealt with the sexuality part I was shocked to read some of the findings. I thought that the reading would consider with that of the Holy Script but to my surprise it was more secular. I found it to be very aggressively written, so much to the degree that I question if I were reading the right material. I read that it mattered not who fell in love but that they loved each other. Now I agree with that if the relationship is heterosexual but if not I cannot agree. Love is never the same in any relationship, meaning no two people love the same at the same time. People have misinterpreted lust for love. If you were never taught the difference then it might be a controlling factor in your relationship, whether it is good or bad, that might be a communication problem with two people. Sex is very important in any relationship, I do agree but it should not control the relationship or the two persons in the relationship. How often do we talk about our sexual acts with our friends and try to compare them, wrong move. Should we be evaluating our bedroom acts with that of another? We will share that before we share with our friends how much money we make. Differences in Partners Men and women are very different as it pertains to sex. Men do not place or attach affection or emotions to sex as do women. Women like to be held and men do not. Women like to be held while a man can reach his sexual peak and walk off or turn over and go to sleep. That may irritate the woman and if they are not good communicators, it may cause confusion in the relationship. Where women would like to talk about how they want to be touch and men are hearing their partners and not listening, how will one know that their partner did not listen will show when he shows her nom attention after the sexual act has been completed. There a\re three phases of the “Sexual Response Cycle.” Phase one is the Excitement phase, this is he arousal phase, what one might call foreplay. The second phase is the Plateau Phase, this is the phase where you have worked up to the orgasmic phase and generally you cannot control yourself\f, \especially the man. Sometime this is where the premature ejaculation happens, which often leaves the women in neutral because she has worked up to her point of the sexual height but cannot reach her peak because he stops. The third phase is the actual Orgasmic Phase in which both parties are able to release their sexual endorphins and become relaxed. The man ejaculated with semen and sperm or maybe just semen where she, the lady usually has her pelvis fighting up, she makes grimaces because the feelings are uncontrollable but each person describes the experience a little bit different than the other. An orgasm can last 2 seconds or 2 to 3 minutes depending on how intense the orgasm is. PROCREATION The purpose of sex was truly for procreation and to some degree, pleasure. Having children should be a time shared between a husband and a wife but the more we evolve the more we see that is not reality. There is sometimes a wife and husband, maybe a girlfriend and a boyfriend and sometimes it is he and him or she and her but babies come just the same. Will there be some confusion of how one was born if not born into a traditional relationship, yes but who are we to judge? The one thing that will not change is it takes nine months for a baby to become a newborn while in the mother’s womb and only a woman can reproduce and carry a child. It is so amazing how God allows that life to grow on the inside of its mother and not die. God is all knowing and when he placed the two together for the first time, he knew he had done what none other could do. Pregnancy is beautiful and fun. God not only gives the baby nine months but also he gives the parents nine months to prepare both mentally and physically. These readings are awesome as I seek to endeavor in each chapter but the more in-depth they are the questions arise for me. I ask myself did God intend for us to be a part of all the entrapments of sin. Does he not love his people anymore because he allows us to have FREEWILL? I should say not. It is because he loves us that he allows FREEWILL. The sad part is that we choose so often to go the wrong way. Sex has destroyed us as a people. We took something so beautiful and made it out to be something nasty and tabooed to even discuss. As a people we will perish from the lack of knowledge, not because we have to but because we want to.