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This week I have chosen to apply the ‘Don’t overextend yourself’ and ‘Aim for Consistency, Not Perfection’ methods into my daily routine as a way to hold myself accountable.
Don’t overextend yourself
By definition the word Overextend, means to obligate, or expand beyond a safe or reasonable limit. I have been known to be a people pleaser. I have done some evaluation both on a professional and personal level and acknowledge that I am in the grip of a disorder some people might call manic compression—trying to do everything perfectly in an attempt to please everyone around me. While everyone around me is enjoying their life, I am not wondering how I got myself there. This week I have made a choice to not commit myself to something I do not want to do, or to concede out of obligation. I have two incidents that I encountered this week professionally and personally that I would like to share. This past week, a friend of mine asked if her 20 year old son could stay at my home while she continued to live with her sister as she was looking for an apartment for the both of them to live in. I found myself faced with a conundrum, she has been there for me during some of the most challenging times of my life and I felt obligated to help her out in this situation. On the other hand, I do not want to live with her son because it would make me feel uncomfortable and I value my personal space. I do not want to take on that responsibility because her son has been known to make questionable decisions. After reading this chapter, I began to wake up to the idea that I actually do have choices. I can make decisions based on my preferences and needs instead of a sense of obligation. I realized that one of the things I can do to keep myself accountable for not overextending myself would be to be honest and tell her the truth; I decided to contact her and tell her that I could not allow him to stay with me.
I am new to the IT PMO team and I am trying to make a name for myself. However, I am 50% PMO and 50% IT Software Development testing. This week we had a number of projects that were assigned to our team and we were asked to pick which ones we would like to be responsible for. Of course, this is great exposure for me and I would have wanted to jump in and take on the challenge. I almost agreed to take on two projects in addition to my testing projects, but I decided to take a step back and evaluate. I needed to do some time management and prioritizing as each of these projects would require quite a bit of time investment to meet the deadlines. Once I did my analysis, I decided to only take on one project in addition to my Testing projects because I needed to be fair to myself and not bite off more than I could chew. So, I made a sound decision and have organized a balanced schedule that will allow me to meet all of my commitments in a timely manner.
Consistency, Not Perfection Our habits define us and changing habits is probably the hardest thing that we can ever do. I’ve learned that it is vital not to be harsh on myself or to aim for habit changes that I am likely to fail at. I have decided to aim for consistency, and not perfection. For months, I have been struggling with trying to find the time to focus on myself, prayer and meditation. When I have tried in the past, I always felt like I needed a prayer guide or some sort of instruction on how to pray and meditate. I felt like I needed to get it perfect in order for it to be right, I was so consumed with trying to get it right that my type A personality would not allow me to turn my mind off. I just kept letting outside thought and distraction interfere with the peace that I was trying to gain. I read this chapter and decided that I was the only person who could be held accountable for making this change. Since this is so important to me, it is my responsibility to focus on getting this done. I needed to start somewhere, so for the past few days I have been consistent in meditating every single day. After months of inconsistency, I have finally got my meditation habit on lockdown. This week I decided to take fifteen minutes each day, to shut everything from the outside world off, and focus on what is important to me. I will admit I am far from perfect with my meditation practice. I have bumped up against some bad days, but each day gets better. I honestly am good with that; as it’s a long way from bad months. The most important fact from my perspective is that, I now accept that I do not have to be perfect in everything and the best thing is I have installed the habit that is turning into a lifestyle and I am content with that.

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