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Formal/Informal Learning Essay 1

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Submitted By sarwarsalam
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Over the years, between grade school and high school and now as an adult still trying to finish my undergraduate degree 10 years after I started it, I find that I’m the type of learner that must be interested in the topic or have a purpose for completing the class. Ever since I was a little girl, I was surrounded by distractions in my life that didn’t allow for me to properly focus on school. I was always able to complete the bare minimum to get by, but never really applied myself to my course studies, unless it was something that I was completely interested in. Studies that, looking back, actually allowed for my brain to rest from the chaotic life it dealt with outside of the classroom. Growing up I always enjoyed the extra-curricular activities as opposed to the general requirements, for example English and History, Economics and Government. Because I struggled with being able to focus while in school, I feel today as an adult I suffer from not knowing about some of the key elements to life. And even though today I realize not knowing these things hinders me at times, I still tend to not have a desire to pursue them to better understand. And the reason for this, are the distractions in my life today. I’ve recognized a pattern in my childhood and in my adulthood and rather than taking responsibility, and taking time out of my busy life to learn and grow as an adult I chose to make excuses. I chose to delay educating myself in these areas that are just as important as the areas I chose to involve myself in. I continue to allow myself to push them aside and tell myself “one day”, but I feel as though I will continue to make excuses. Ive gone this long without knowing and understanding, why learn now? Why learn now? I have so many reasons why I should allow myself to learn and grow now. Im tired of playing the victim and making excuses as to why I haven’t finished school, or why it’s time for me to take a break again from school and from finishing what I started 10 years ago, or should I really say 14 years ago since I slipped my way through high school as well. I’m turning 29 years old in March of this year. And for the first time, I can say that I no longer point the finger or can blame someone else for me not finishing school. The only person standing in my way; is me. I’ve realized this last year that I have come a long way since I first started this journey. Today, I feel as though I have a purpose, a purpose that I never felt before. I’ve been through a lot of obstacles in my life, especially within the last year and taking responsibility for my life and my education is something that I have full and complete ownership of. I’ve worked for Honeywell for the last 4 years. Since I graduated high school, I always seemed to have a good job that I felt would eventually lead me somewhere, but never fully knew where. I had hopes and dreams for myself, but was really unclear of the path that would take me there. When I started working for Honeywell, I never intended to stay for as long as I did, since I started off as a sub-contractor with a 9 month assignment. I was simply working a second job to take care of my boyfriend at the time and his son since he was laid off from his job. 4 years later, I found my niche. I found something that I enjoy and that actually excites me in the morning and drives me to better my life and the person that I am. The opportunities for me at Honeywell are limitless and the only thing that is going to hold me back; is me. I can’t allow for myself to hold me back from living my life to its full potential for one more day. And because of this, is why I’ve decided to learn now. To grow professionally within Honeywell, I must complete my undergraduate degree. I have oppurtunities staring at me in the face, but because I don’t have my degree, those oppurtunities may not come to light. Now, I don’t want you to think that the only reason I’ve decided to learn now is so that I can grow and be successful within my career at Honeywell. I think the most important piece to this is that it will allow for me to feel a sense of accomplishment for myself. Last year in October, I was officially divorced from someone who I put my heart and soul and every waking breath into. I sometimes feel the 3 years we were together was a waste of time for me. I lived my life for someone else, just like I’ve done my entire life. Always worrying about someone else and their well-being and not taking a moment to think about me and what was most important to me. The last 12 months have been the hardest 12 months of my life. I feel a sense of rejection and an overwhelming sense of failure. I worked so hard to be successful in something, that I knew from the beginning was wrong. My experiences in life, growing up in an abusive household as a child, feeling rejected by my biological father since he was never around, living day to day running from the unknown, consuming myself in other people’s lives and caring for them in ways I was not even caring for myself, has opened my eyes and has allowed me to see today, why my path was always so unclear to me. The only person ever holding me back was me. I allowed my life and experiences to stand in the way and made excuses for myself and why I wasn’t going where I wanted to go. Today, I’ve learned to use these experiences as motivation to become a better person, instead of allowing myself to play victim. Today for the first time in my life, I am excited about what tomorrow is going to bring. I’m excited about going to school and seeing what the world has to bring. Because I’ve been able to recognize what has held me back for so many years, I feel going forward I will be able to focus and expand my knowledge not only for myself and my career but for my future. The thought of being educated and completing my degree for not only my career, but most importantly for me is exciting. My career is something that is very important to ME, and taking ownership of it is the first step of taking care of ME. I am more focused today than I have been in my entire life, and I feel because of this is why I will be able to push through life’s obstacles and continue with my education to completion.

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