Gender Roles in India:
How do the Men and Women of India live the way they do?

Gender roles in India are very controversial as seen from the eyes of a

westerner. Many though however view this as culture and tradition. In India, the

women are controlled almost completely by the men in their families. They also

have to pay a lot of respect to the men in their culture in general. The women must

follow the commands of her father first, after him her husband, and lastly her son.

Although she must obey these men the restrictions do not end there. After a

woman’s husband dies she does not have independence and she is not allowed to

remarry. These are the values that are taught to the woman in India and are

respected by the men in the country.

Starting off with the value of respect, it dates back to the caste system.

Generally most Indian communities do not respect the fact where families do not

accept lower caste systems into their own. The caste system can be described as

segregation in a way. The categories of segregation are Brahman, Kshatriya, Vaishya,

Shudra. The Brahmans were considered the priests and educated class, the

Kshatriya were considered the land owners, rulers and fighters of their town, they

dominated the government, and their superiority level was just under the Brahmins.

The Vaishya were considered the trader class and the Shudra were servile laborers.

What the caste system did was that it organized a special way for the different

classes to respect one another. Women were treated differently and were supposed

to do certain things. Women had to achieve the following roles such as cooking,

cleaning, washing clothes and taking care of children, if any. The caste system is the

reason for the gender roles that exist in India till this day.

Women, as children, were considered to be an aspect of Shakti, which means

a form of energy in the language of Hinduism. As girls, they are raised by their

parents, participating in women roles with their mother mainly for the purpose of

being trained for marriage. The daughter of the family was considered to be the

property of either the parent’s, brother or husband, there was no freedom of her

own to choose(Dharma, 2007). If the girl was to have a brother, they were not

permitted to achieve the same education at the same institute because girls often

had to be taught from home or an institution by their living space so the father can

closely keep and eye on her, protecting her virginity just as every father. After

marriage, the woman is handed off to the responsibility of her husband, where she

also has to participate and complete her daily responsibilities and duties in which

her mother taught her growing up. Marriage was almost like a treaty made between

both families for the objectives of having children and to possess economic strength,

never for personal reasons like falling in love. Men are superior to women; they had

the first say for any necessary decision making for the family, a woman’s duties after

marriage also consisted of caring for her husband as a god. Women are expected to

serve him at any time, follow him around and pray for the well being of her “god”.

Men on the other hand, had different roles in the society, mainly determined

by an individual’s social status. Basically, every individual is born into a certain

caste, which determines that individual’s role in the society. Even men that were

born into a certain cast are certain that they will never be able to achieve a different

level of social class. In attempt to achieve a higher social class, an individual would

present himself as an outcast that wouldn’t belong. The religions of Hindus and

Muslims often consist of treating everyone equally in the place of

worship(Traditions, Web). However, outside the place of worship, the caste system

comes back into place and everyone goes back to classifying each other by their

rank in society. Muslims view this aspect negatively because they believe that

everyone should be treated equally, but in reality, they are treated like they are on

the bottom of the social ladder. Hindus collaborate amongst groups of the same

social ranks to further preserve their public reputation.

Reputations was seen as a very important factor to hold in an Indian society,

because without reputation in a society, no one will want to marry you, you have to

come from a respectable family. Usually families participate in a lot of efforts to

maintain or build their reputations(Traditions, Web). Usually, portions of Americans

don’t know half of their family or their future family compared to the reality of

Indians. Indians usually have a profound view of where their family is getting

married into and a very distinct understanding of where they come from. Often, if

one is known to have been raped, this effects the individuals probability of marriage

negatively because Indians are centered on their reputation, and getting married

into a family where he/she has been raped would degrade their public image.

Pertaining to those that have been raped, even though the family would know who

had raped the child, it would in several cases remain confidential between the

victim and suspect and the victim’s parents to preserve their reputation and to save

the girls reputation from being auspicious before marriage so the probability of

marriage stays at equilibrium. The reputation of the family at stake would generally

stay intact so they could carry on a normal life.

Arranged marriages were very common in this particular region. Marriages

in Indian tradition are done only through the acknowledgment of elders. It may be a

surprise to many people that marriages even in the USA are only done through the

acceptance by elders in Indian families. Though it has become common for couples

to marry through different caste it is not a widely accepted concept. Many

prominence families in the USA do not accept marriages in different castes or in

different wealth classes (Modern Urban Edu. Marriages, Web). This is common

because of the idea that was mentioned before about how you are born into a

certain caste and no matter how hard one tries, they will never be able to reach a

higher level in the social ladder for the sake of saving the humiliation from being an

outcast to the social rank, so therefore marriage was determined by ones age, social

class, background and reputation.

Once a woman is married into a family, there is no turning around for her.

Divorce was never common in India. The reason for this is because men are

considered to be increasingly superior to women, which also gave the power of

relationship decision making up to him as well. However, if the wife is widowed, she

is not permitted to remarry. In fact, she is supposed to shave her head for the

purpose of becoming unattractive to other single men. If a woman was widowed

while she was in her twenties or thirties year old range, the woman was considered

to be dangerous, inauspicious and unfortunate. In result of unfortunately becoming

a widow, the widow is presented with the hardest task of the house which was to

isolate herself from sitting with the rest of the family to eat dinner, she was not

permitted to eat with his family any more.

The piece that I chose to compare and contrast to the gender roles of men

and women in India is “Once Upon a Quinceanara”. I chose this piece to compare

and contrast to my essay because the piece portrays a broad view of what women in

India would die to have. In the piece, it goes about explaining themes for the

Quinceanara, showing the options they have to choose from in paragraph seven.

Females in India would treat this event as a luxury due to the fact that they have

options to choose from because in their reality, they have no options, no freedoms,

no free time. There mother’s are constantly teaching their daughters domestic labor

skills such as the duties of a woman after marriage, cooking, cleaning, washing

clothes etc... This is reality for women in India because each family wants to

maintain a good reputation and getting your daughter married before she is

prepared for her duties may ruin a family’s image.

“From my spot in the crowd, I am torn between optimism for this tender,

young being emerged from the cocoon of her childhood and a sense of dread that

the world she is entering, unlike the fantasy she is enjoying this one night, will not

allow for such winged flight.”(Alvarez, 328) This is a quote from the piece I choose

for this essay. This quote explains briefly about what a Quinceanara is which relates

to the role of marriage for women in India. A Quinceanara is an event held for

female Latinas on their sixteenth birthday, to publicly announce that her childhood

years have been complete, and she is now to experience the rest of the world, which

is also related to marriages for women in India, in a way. The only difference is that

the Quinceanara is a celebration for the overcoming of ones childhood years while

marriage for women in India is solely based on the reproduction and economic

strengths and it represents the switching of guardians from her parents or brother

to a husband. What this quote is trying to say is that the author feels as if she were in

this sixteen year old girls shoes experiencing that moment that you thought was

worthless at the time but very valuable years later and she cant help but to be more

than happy for Monica’s Quinceanara. Therefore, I have realized that some women are stronger than they

may appear. For example, think about all of the arranged marriages that have

happened over several years, if I was in a females shoes in India, these restrictions

and limitations would be unbearable from the adaption of living a free life that I am

used to. I can’t even stand to be grounded for a day when these women live

everyday as if they were grounded. Women were expected to follow commands of

her father first, after him her husband, and lastly her son. Women were to respect

men in this way because the men in the family always protect the virginity of the

female. In conclusion, after concluding this research, I think that the women of India

deserve a standing ovation for all the things they go through in their controlled life.

Lastly, these are the values that are taught to the woman in India and are respected

by the men in the country till this day.

Cited Sources:

"Shakti Dharma: Women and Changing Gender Roles in India." Shakti Dharma: Women and Changing Gender Roles in India. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Dec. 2012.

"India's Traditional Views on Gender Roles." India's Traditional Views on Gender Roles. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Dec. 2012.

"India - Modern Urban Educated Marriages - Gender Roles Issues/Challenges." India - Modern Urban Educated Marriages - Gender Roles Issues/Challenges. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Dec. 2012.

“Once Upon A Quinceanara” 328. Book. Julia Alvarez. 05 Dec. 2012