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Greek Members Dating Non Greek Members

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Greek Members Dating Non-Greek Members
Morgan Pistole
The University of Oklahoma

Abstract
This paper explores the college dating relationships between Greek (Fraternity or Sorority members) and Non-Greeks (Non Fraternity or Non Sorority members). There are many differences between students in college that are associated with the Greek system and those students who are not associated with the Greek system. The college experience for these two groups is extremely different and the core values of the two groups in relation to the college experience are extremely different as well. Dating a peer that is not associated with the Greek system can pose devastating problems for a student associated with the Greek system as well as the other way around. This paper examines Markstrom-Adams (1991) research in relations to the attitudes on dating, courtship, and marriage on in-group versus out-group relationships. Keywords: college, dating relationships, Greek system

Greek Members Dating Non-Greek Members
Theory/Hypothesis
The theory that I have constructed pertains to the subject of dating in college and more specifically a couple dating where one member of the couple has membership in a fraternities and sorority while the other member does not. My theory, The Greek Dating Theory, states that it is illogical for one to date outside of their circle or associated group either greek or non-greek. The problems that arise from a greek dating a non-greek (GDNG) are many and comparable to one that dates outside of their religion. This theory only pertains to when the subjects or potential couple is physically in college and has no effect on the possibilities of dating after college. It is a very important to make clear about the Greek Dating Theory only pertains to dating relationships that are currently in college because of the large weight that is put on being associated with a fraternity or sorority on the majority of the campuses in the United States. When a freshman enters college their freshman year they are given the choice to join a fraternity or sorority and enter into greek life at their university. The life of a greek member is extremely different than that of a student that does not participate in greek activities from social events to date parties with members of the opposite sex. The life of a student that takes part in these events can have up to three events a week that involve socializing with members of the opposite sex and this creates problems for a relationship that has a member not in a fraternity or sorority. In many instances a student who is not greek affiliated can feel like a minority when it comes to participating in social activities because fraternities and sororities run the majority of major social events on college campuses today. A partner can start feeling and showing signs of jealousy and feeling neglected by their romantic partner who is socializing with members of the opposite sex over them on a daily basis. “Jealousy occurs when people worry that they might lose something they value, such as a good relationship or high-status position, due to interference from a third party” (Afifi, Anderson & Guerrero, 2011). The lack of understanding between the partners and their social life that causes a feeling of disconnect which ultimately ends the relationship. For greek college students their fraternity or sorority is their number one priority and they want to a associate with greek members because they share the same beliefs and values as they do and this is why dating outside of this circle continues to fail in college so consistently.
Literature Review Dating outside of your social circle in college, whether its greek or not, shows many similarities to a person who dates outside of their respected religion. According to Santrock, the purpose of dating is mate selection and one will not choose to even consider dating if the possible mate shares the same beliefs (Santrock, 1990). This statement related back to the Greek Dating Theory shows that in college one who is a member of a fraternity or sorority will not consider dating somebody outside the greek circle because they do not share the same beliefs as them during this period of their life. Fraternity and sorority members are in majority on college campus when it comes to social life and dating so they are at the top of the food chain as soon as they step foot on campus because of their high interaction with the opposite sex. “When a majority group member hold an endogamous marital aspiration, his/her desirables are greater than that of the minority group member” (Kerckhoff, 1974). Relating Kerckhoff’s findings back to the Greek Dating Theory one can infer that a member of a fraternity or sorority has greater opportunities for dating by just being greek affiliated opposed to a student who is not associated with greek chapter at their university. This theme alone is the core of the Greek Dating Theory because no matter how the relationship is between a greek member and a non-greek member the non-greek member will always feel in the minority when it comes to viable options and opportunities when it comes to dating. This sole fact of viable options will prove the notion that jealousy and other negative feelings of neglect will come about in a relationship that involves members of these two separate parties no matter the circumstances for as long as the couple is in college or one of the members is associated with a fraternity or sorority. In research done by Carol Markstrom-Adams in regards to specifically Mormon high school students regarding their beliefs about dating outside of their religion. In the exploratory research done by Markstrom-Adams, exploratory research is defined as “less structured and allows for an examination of phenomena in which prior investigations have proved insufficient” (Adams & Schvaneveldt, 1985), it was determined that 83% of Mormons that were tested in Markstrom-Adams study claimed that there were “identifiable barriers to Mormon and non-Mormon dating” (Markstrom-Adams, 1989). This once again proves that while religious dating and greek college dating are much different subjects the idea that one is not comfortable dating outside their perceived group or circle is apparent by these numbers. Markstrom-Adams study is an excellent example of dating beliefs on an in-group versus an out-group. Her researches backs the claims made by the Greek Dating Theory that it is extremely difficult and believed as wrong by the majority to date outside of the circle in which the associate with whether that be religion or a greek system on a college campus. The numerous reasons stated above back up the core findings of the Greek Dating Theory and with Markstrom-Adams findings one can conclude that greek and non-greek dating in college should be avoided for reasons such as jealousy and neglect.

References
Adams, G. R., & Schvaneveldt, J. D. (1985). Understanding research methods. New York: Longman.
Afifi, W. A., Andersen, P. A., & Guerrero, L. K. (2011). Close encounters: Communication in relationships (3rd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA. Sage Publications, Inc.
Kerckhoff,A. C. (1974).The social context of interpersonal attraction. In T. L. Huston (Ed.), Foundations of inter-personal attraction (pp. 61-78). New York: Academic Press. Markstrom-Adams C,.(1989).Aqualitative analysis of the impressions and experiences of religious minority adolescents. Religious Education,84, 417-427.
Santrock, J. W. (1990). Adolescence (4th ed.). Dubuque, IA: Wm. C. Brown.

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