...Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling The number of people seeking help for troubled marriages far outnumbers those seeking help for depression, family tensions, alcohol or drug abuse, anxiety, spiritual concerns, past traumas, or crises. When people seek counseling from their pastor, most frequently it is concerning marital problems. The number of people seeking help for troubled marriages far outnumbers those seeking help for depression, family tensions, alcohol or drug abuse, anxiety, spiritual concerns, past traumas, or crises. Most Christians value marriage. God approves of the permanence of marriage (Malachi 2:14), and Jesus and Paul advocate marriage (Matthew 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:2–12; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11). God hates the pain and brokenness that oozes from divorce. Popular culture saturates our minds with the idea that obliterating the bonds of marriage can relieve the pain of marital conflict. In contrast, pastors advocate the virtues of marriage from the pulpit. The Christian who lives with daily marital conflict, hurt, and anger is pinched in a vice. Seeking help from the pastor, troubled spouses are sometimes disappointed when this counseling doesn’t work. Too often, Christians—who are separated, divorced, or living a life of conflict and anguish—twist free by leaving the church. This is not a satisfying solution to marriage partners or to pastors. Six Bridge Planks to Reconciliation Between Troubled Marriage Partners Plank...
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...brief synopsis of a system that could be integrated into churches to teach higher levels of forgiveness. It further explains the reasoning for the need of forgiveness due to all of the benefits that having a forgiving character can bring. Those who forgive more easily have a tendency to present with reductions in anger, depression, anxiety, grief, PTSD, and stress. They also have higher levels of self-esteem, hope, and positive attitudes. Even though the idea of forgiveness has been taught from early civilizations and documented in the pages of the Hebrew Bible and New Testament, the benefits of forgiveness have not been explored until approximately twenty years ago. It was not until 1984 when social scientist, Smedes and again in 1990 Worthington and DiBlasio sought to explore these possible benefits and to develop models of forgiveness (Magnuson & Enright, 2008). The two most popular models are Enright's process model and Worthington's REACH model. Enright's model which has four basic steps; the first is to begin to uncover the hurt or shame caused by the offense; the second step is to purposefully decide to forgive, the third step is to work towards forgiveness. One must begin to develop empathy for their offender. Not for the purpose of justifying their offense but to better understand why they acted in such a manner. The fourth and final step is to receive the healing of forgiveness. At this stage one learns to let the pain go and not to dwell on the incident. The second...
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...the topic of forgiveness Chasity Webster PSY 400 Martin Methodist College Forgiveness is one of the most compassionate things that we can do for one another. The term is greatly misinterpreted and because of this it is not often given in the truest sense of the word. Forgiveness requires finding and feeling compassion and then being able to let go of anxiety, anger and yearning for revenge. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. In an article reviewing compassion, the authors define compassion as the feeling that arises in witnessing another’s suffering and that motivates a subsequent desire to help. The definition theorizes compassion as an affective state defined by a specific independent feeling, and it differs from treatment of compassion as an attitude (Goetz & et. al 2010). According to Webster’s Third Edition, to forgive is to cease to feel resentment against, on accord of wrong committed, to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon an offender, to absolve; pardon. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting...
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...Forgiveness is a necessary part of human existence, although it is rarely easy to give, and sometimes even harder to give ourselves. Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner demonstrates the struggles of seeking forgiveness for past mistakes and granting forgiveness to others for theirs. Although many characters seek forgiveness, only Baba, Rahim Khan and Amir find the closure they are looking for. Baba spends his entire life seeking forgiveness for his past transgressions. He uses his connections with his community as a way to clear his guilty conscience: “I think that everything he did, feeding the poor, giving money to friends in need, it was all a way of redeeming himself” (Hosseini 316). Everything that Baba does for Kabul and its citizens, in a way, is contradictory. He does good, helping those who need to be helped, but for reasons that are entirely selfish. He hates himself for the mistakes he once made and he thinks that by being successful and by supporting those in need, he can make himself feel better, maybe even forget what he has done. Baba makes people believe he is a good man, because if everyone else believes it, then he can too. Rahim Khan says that true redemption is “when guilt leads to good” (316), so Baba is successful in redeeming himself but continues to struggle on his search for true forgiveness. Baba, who believes that theft is the only sin, steals the identity of his second son, Hassan. Baba never forgives himself for this, but he seeks forgiveness from...
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...laws in their hearts, and He will be their God and they will be his people. An important aspect in the historical of this passage is the Old Covenant. It was consisted of making sacrifices to God in order to be forgiven for their sins. This was the only way to receive forgiveness from God during that period. Since the Israelites could not keep his law, God wanted to make a new covenant. This covenant was about forgiveness of sins without sacrifices. It was a covenant in which the people of Israel will be able to keep God’s law. Literary context The New Covenant which is found in Jeremiah 31:31-34 is found in between the book of consolation. This passage is consisted of promises that God has initiated to the nation of Israel in the Old Testament. In the previous chapters, God told Israel what their life will be like once he delivers them from their bondage. He promised them that he will never forget them. The literary context of this passage is that God will establish a new covenant the nation of Israel and Judah. (Fretheim 442). But, before this covenant, they will have to undergo restoration and salvation. Even though the people of Israel was not listening to God’s word, God still showed mercy and forgiveness in their favor. Structure and Genre Jeremiah 31: 31-34 is written in a poetic form where God spoke directly to the nation of Israel. Verse 31 shows that God is going to make a new covenant with Israel but verse 32 is contrasted with verse 31 because it shows that...
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...complicated feelings people often have when they are struck in the same situation as the characters. O’Connor presents many different themes and personalities of characters that reveal different ideas and emotions going from hope for a vacation all the way to anger and lamentation. O’Connor portrays both the impure intentions and obstacles that face the family through theme, symbolism and characterization. O’Connor uses many themes in order to intensify the plot and entertain the readers. One of the most important themes that O’Connor states is prayer and forgiveness. The words O’Connor chose to reflect prayer and forgiveness to show the different stages of morality both the grandmother and the misfit when through. The grandmother had a manipulative and hidden characteristic that affected the whole family’s aftermath. The writers twist in diction usage to show the reader whether or not the characters are ultimately deserving of the tragic aftermath. The grandmother’s selfishness lead her to loose both her and her family’s life. After the misfits meets the family, O’Connor points out a need for forgiveness and kindness as a theme to help the reader gain so hope to keep the ending a surprise. The grandmother says to the misfit “Pray, pray, pray, pray” in hopes he brings his soft side and knows that he is human too. The grandmother tries to manipulate the misfit in order to save her life and show him that Jesus can forgive him for his past. The choice of diction shows both desperation...
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...The power of forgiveness In order for people to be happy and content, they must have inner peace. Lack of inner peace results in emotional disturbance, fear, anxiety, distrust and a life filled with restlessness and uncertainty. In order for people to be forgiven, they must first learn to forgive themselves. Self- forgiveness removes any obstacles caused by self- criticism and in return provides love, inner peace and happiness. Forgiving oneself does not erase past experiences, it just creates new ways to remember them. The memories from the past can be transformed into hope in the future. The bible makes no mention as to what Jesus looks like. In the movie Bella, Jose’s character bears a striking resemblance to many modern-day images of Jesus. He is an ordinary looking man; tall and lean with long flowing dark hair and beard, and wears a chef's jacket that favors a shroud. What is so remarkable about his character is his attitude and demeanor. He is non-judgmental, compassionate, empathic and understanding to Nina’s situation. At no point did he offer her any advice when she made the decision to have an abortion. Instead, he was supportive and lent her a shoulder to cry on. Because of his character, Nina could be able to trust again which in turn led to her giving birth to her daughter. Helping Nina was an act of atonement for Jose. For the past four years, he has struggled with the guilt of accidentally causing the death to a child. It is evident that he is remorseful...
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...1-1-2002 A Positive Relationship Between Religious Faith and Forgiveness: Faith in the Absence of Data? Lisa Edwards Marquette University, lisa.edwards@marquette.edu Regina H. Lapp-Rincker University of Kansas Main Campus Jeana L. Magyar-Moe University of Kansas Main Campus Jason D. Rehfeldt University of Kansas Main Campus Jamie A. Ryder University of Kansas Main Campus See next page for additional authors Originally published in Pastoral Psychology, Volume 50, No. 3 (January 2002), online at: http://dx.doi.org/10.1023/A:1012940402668 Authors Lisa Edwards, Regina H. Lapp-Rincker, Jeana L. Magyar-Moe, Jason D. Rehfeldt, Jamie A. Ryder, Jill C. Brown, and Shane J. Lopez This article is available at e-Publications@Marquette: http://epublications.marquette.edu/edu_fac/44 1 Edwards, Lapp-Rincker, Magyar-Moe, Rehfeldt, Ryder, Brown & Lopez A Positive Relationship Between Religious Faith and Forgiveness: Faith in the Absence of Data? Authors: Lisa M. Edwards,1,2 Regina H. Lapp-Rincker,1 Jeana L. Magyar-Moe,1 Jason D. Rehfeldt,1 Jamie A. Ryder,1 Jill C. Brown,1 and Shane J. Lopez1 Religious faith and beliefs appear to play an important role in the lives of many individuals and are the topic of much research. The present study investigated the relationship between religious faith and forgiveness in a sample (n = 196) of college students. Students were asked to complete the Heartland Forgiveness Scale and the Santa Clara Strength of Religious Faith Questionnaire...
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... * As long as we live in the past, we will be chained to the past, and the people who have hurt us deeply win a double victory! Once when they hurt us the first time and twice when we refuse to let go. Hurt doesn’t just happen in man/woman relationships…Hurt can happen in the church, on the job, between friends and family, hurt can happen in all areas of life. Most people stay in a place of confusion and stagnation, because they don’t know “How to Handle Anger and Bitterness.” We all struggle with broken relationships, people who hurt us, painful words, deceitful actions, friends who turn against us, and unkind words said about us or our loved ones. The following two things are true about the human condition: We always need forgiveness and we always have someone we need to forgive. * It is at this point that 2nd Corinthians 2: 5-11 becomes so relevant. In this paragraph Paul challenges the...
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...Reflection Paper 2 [Introduction: Prayer and Hope in the modern world.] Christians strive and struggle to remain strong in their faith while navigating today’s secular world. Faced with a constant bombardment of negative messages, portrayals, and media by popular culture Christians have to deal with outside influences as well as their own personal struggles. Prayer and Hope are two of the most powerful tools God has given Christians to renew their faith and receive Gods blessings. Prayer is the very act of a Christian reaching out to God for wisdom, help, renewal, forgiveness, and blessings. God requires prayer (1 Timothy 2:8 ESV), God rewards prayer (Luke 11:9 ESV), and God guides us in prayer (Matthew 6:9-13 ESV). The hope God provides is in the reward of everlasting life in heaven. (Core Christianity by Elmer Towns) God wants Christians to be hopeful and at peace with the future. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV) Prayer and Hope can change the very way a Christian presents themselves in public and allow themselves the ability to stand firm in their faith knowing Gods promise. [Part One: Prayer] a. Theological Definition As stated in the introduction Prayer is the very act of a Christian reaching out to God for wisdom, help, renewal, forgiveness, and blessings. It is through prayer that Christians build their relationship with God to seek His presence and guidance in their lives. Prayer is considered to be the intimate relationship between God and the individual. Beyond just...
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...marched through the town. Along the way he noticed a graveyard for Nazi soldiers and above each grave, a sunflower, had been planted. Upon seeing this, he experienced envy for the soldiers who were still connected to “the living world”(Wiesenthal, 1998, p. 14). Simon indicated his desensitization to death, but upon seeing the graves with flowers and knowing when he died, he would be placed in an unmarked grave with no flowers to tie him to this world, he felt bitterness along with a small hope that he “would come across them again; that they were a symbol with a special meaning”(Wiesenthal, 1998, p. 15). Arriving to the work site, Simon is approached by a nurse inquiring if he was Jewish. Acknowledging this, she took him to a room that had been transformed into a sickroom for Karl, a dying SS soldier. Karl’s story began with his youth and Catholic upbringing and he joined the Hitler Youth and SS willingly. He then gave his account of the crime he committed and was so desperately seeking forgiveness for. Simon listened silently to the murder of more Jews and walked away grappling with the thought, “here was a dying man-a murder who did not want to be a murder but who had been made into a murder by murderous ideology.”(Wiesenthal, 1998, p. 53) but his own death could come at any time from someone such as Karl. He left in silence and through the remainder of the holocaust and in the visit to Karl’s mother Simon kept silent. Simon clearly states his silence...
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...Revenge, Forgiveness and Reconciliation The Tempest has the theme of revenge and reconciliation is seen largely in the character of Prospero. In the title, The Tempest is both literal and metaphorical. Shakespeare begins the play with a fierce storm which wrecks the courtier’s ship. I think the storm symbolizes “the tempest of life” (for example the struggle of life) around which the play is based. Prospero is a dynamic character in this play who exhibits the motions of motivation and forgiveness. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do when someone has done something awful to you and then to reconcile with the person is harder while you want revenge. Prospero will show us how these themes are used to interpret as I explain in detail next. Prospero is the ousted Duke of Milan who has been living in exile on a remote island for the past twelve years. He is also a powerful magician, father of Miranda, master of Ariel and Caliban, and a guy who really likes his books. Twelve years earlier, he found refuge on this island after his younger brother, Antonio, seized Prospero's title and property. Prospero functions as a god on the island, manipulating everyone within his reach. He is helpless against his enemies until they appear on a ship nearby; but when they are close enough, he can use his magic to create a storm and bring them under his control; and this is what makes me think revenge is being taken place. Prospero's magic is the white magic of nature...
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...thought to be grouped together because they show two contrasting sides of servitude. Other examples lie behind Miranda and Ferdinand's "love at first sight", as well as the forgiveness that Alonso, Antonio, and Prospero receive. Each grouping of characters is placed strategically throughout the play by Shakespeare to exemplify different themes. Ariel and Caliban are both under Prospero's servitude, and are actually foils for one another. However, while Ariel abides by Prospero's rules willingly, Caliban only serves Prospero out of fear. They are both obligated to serve Prospero and do his bidding, but while Caliban is only trusted to do the simplest of tasks, Ariel is the equivalent to Prospero's second in command. He is constantly a major aide in Prospero's grand plan, and he is privy to Prospero's secrets. "All hail great master! Grave sir, hail! I come to answer thy best pleasure,"(Shakespeare 14). Ariel says this to his master, living with the hope of soon being free. He could behave as Caliban, but Ariel is trusted enough to help Prospero complete his master plan. Ariel even influences Prospero's decision on whether to forgive the ones who have wronged him. At the end of the play, Prospero's other servant Caliban, turns out to be one of the ones who have wronged Prospero, and he himself begs for forgiveness. Caliban is described as "a born devil on whose nature, nurture can never stick,"(Shakespeare 71). His solitude had been interrupted years ago, when Prospero and Miranda...
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...George Makreas Prof. Christopher Dowling ENG 100 T-TH G00848186 The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness The Holocaust will always be remembered by the world as a period where human evil was most prevalent, and where millions of innocent lives were taken in cold blood. It doesn’t matter whether your ancestors were involved, or if you were around to experience it, you only have to be human in order to feel for all of the people who were affected. Over the years studies like Milgram’s Obedience Experiment, and Zimbardo’s Stanford Prison Study have shed light on some of the basic roots of human evil, but these roots are not enough to pave the way for forgiveness of the events that occurred. Simon Wiesenthal’s story “The Sunflower” exploits these evils and presently brings us into the life and character of Simon, a Jew in a concentration camp in Poland, who has ultimately been sentenced to death for just being born the way he is. He is brought to the bed of a dying SS Nazi soldier named Karl, who after telling him of his life decisions, asks for forgiveness as his dying wish. Simon leaves the soldier in silence, and we never find out if he ever truly forgives him. But Wiesenthal does leave us all with the question of what we would do in his position. With such brutalizing and horrific events, the atrocities that Karl commits are unforgivable because he willingly participates to take the lives of innocent people, which are acts that cannot be undone. ...
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...“Prayer cannot change things” Discuss. Prayer is a difficult subject to try to understand for many reasons. Firstly, it completely depends on what kind of person you are, your beliefs and the circumstances of the prayer. People pray in times of need and hope. People pray for themselves and others, to god, to ask for things, be it forgiveness, material matter, or for god to fix things. In Christianity, prayer is a huge part of worship. Christians believe that prayer forms a personal relationship with god. In times of need and trouble, people look to god and put their faith in god, to fix things. This is one of the examples which proves the point that prayer can just cause more harm than good; If people put all their hope in god to make things better, and then nothing changes yet perhaps things become even worse, these people may lose all faith in not only god and religion, but also life itself. Some truly devoted Christians believe that even when god doesn’t answer their prayers, there’s a perfectly good reason for it; for example if someone prays for a close family member or friend to recover from sickness, but they don’t, although they may be pretty angry at everything, especially god. However, they may believe that god decided it would make them a stronger person, and it was time for that person to go anyway. To a true believer, the theory of prayer can make a huge difference to life. The question of whether prayer can change things or not is a question of which there...
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