Free Essay

How I Met Your Godmother

In:

Submitted By jkorup
Words 2889
Pages 12
Agent Bork: Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whacking off in?
Agent Fleming: Bork, you're a Federal Agent. You represent the United States government. Never end a sentence with a preposition.
Agent Bork: Oh, uh... You know that guy in whose camper they... I mean, that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?
Share this
President Clinton: Beavis and Butt-head, on behalf of your fellow Americans I extend my deepest thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans who will grow into the leaders of this great country.
Butt-head: Huh huh huh huh. He said, "extend."
Beavis: Oh, yeah.
Share this
Butt-head's Dad: Hey, one of you bastards got a match?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. My butt and your, uh, butt. Uh huh huh.
Share this
[after apprehending Butt-head]
Agent Fleming: Agent Hurly, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search. I'm talking Roto-Rooter. Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth.
Share this
Hoover Dam Guide: Now, can anybody tell me how much energy it takes to power Las Vegas?
Beavis: Yeah, I just have a question. Um, is this a God dam?
Share this
[walking down hallway of the White House, stops at picture of Nixon and stares at it]
Beavis: Are you threatening ME?
Share this
Concierge: [leading Beavis and Butt-head into their room] I'm sorry about that little misunderstanding, gentlemen. We didn't realize you were registered guests. If there's anything we can do to...
Beavis: [sees TV and remote attached to table, tries to lift it] Damn it. This thing is stuck.
Concierge: Sir, it's attached to the...
Butt-head: You dumb-ass, let me try.
Beavis: [stops] Hey, check it out. That guy's still standing there.
[Concierge holds out hand, expecting tip]
Butt-head: Uhh, could you, like, not stand there and stuff?
Butt-head: [as soon as concierge leaves] Some people are dumb.
Share this
Tom Anderson: Boy, I never seen two kids do so much damned whacking.
Share this
Beavis: I am the great Cornholio. I need T.P. for my bunghole.
Share this
Little Old Lady: I'm sorry. You have to speak up, son. I have this ringing in my ears. My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations.
Beavis: Really? I poop too much.
Little Old Lady: Oh. Maybe you're lactose intolerant.
Beavis: I mean... No, no. I poop too much! And then I get tired.
Share this
Agent Fleming: Give us the unit!
Beavis: Why does everybody want to see my schlong?
Share this
Little Old Lady: Oh, hello, there. Are you two heading for Las Vegas?
Beavis: Yeah. We're gonna score.
Little Old Lady: Oh, well, I hope to score big there, myself. I'm mostly gonna be doing the slots.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts, too. Yeah. Do they have a lot of sluts in Las Vegas?
Little Old Lady: Oh, there are so many slots, you won't know where to begin.
Beavis: Whoa. Hey, Butt-Head, this chick is pretty cool. She says there's gonna be tons of sluts in Las Vegas.
Butt-head: Cool.
Little Old Lady: It's so nice to meet young men who are so well-mannered.
Beavis: Yeah. I'm gonna have money and a big screen TV and there's gonna be sluts everywhere. It's gonna rule.
Little Old Lady: Well, that's nice.
Share this
Butt-head: [Beavis and Butt-Head roll the TV out of the school, it falls down the stairs and breaks] That was cool. Huh huh huh.
Beavis: No, it wasn't.
Butt-head: Uh, oh, yeah.
Share this
[after a cavity search by a female FBI agent]
Butt-head: Did I just score?
Share this
Beavis: Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair. We've traveled, um, a hundred miles 'cause we thought we were gonna score. But now it's not gonna happen. Damn it!
Bus Driver: Hey, buddy, sit down.
Beavis: Shut up, ass-wipe! I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen! We're just gonna get old like these people... but they've probably scored!
Bus Driver: Hey, I'm warning you! SIT DOWN!
Beavis: [motioning to Martha] It's, like, this chick's a slut. And look at this guy. He's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
Old Guy: [nodding] Oh, yeah.
Beavis: But not us. We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!
Share this
David VanDriessen: You know, this could be a real positive experience for you guys. There's a wonderful and exciting world out there when we discover that we don't need TV to entertain us.
Butt-head: Huh huh huh. He said, "Anus."
Beavis: Entertain us, anus. Oh, yeah.
David VanDriessen: Have you guys heard a word I've said?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. Anus.
Beavis: [chuckling] Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I heard it, too.
David VanDriessen: Look, guys, just take the TV back to the AV room right now. And try to be a little more open to life's experiences, okay?
Butt-head: What a dork.
Share this
Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're gonna get paid to score.
Beavis: Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.
Share this
[eight M-16 assault rifles are pointed at him]
Butt-head: This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
Share this
[checking out Chelsea Clinton]
Butt-head: Hey, baby. I noticed you have braces. I have braces too.
Share this
Muddy Grimmes: You got any last words before I kill you?
Butt-head: I have a couple. Butt cheeks.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. And, uh, and boobs. I just wanna say that again. Boobs.
Muddy Grimmes: I'm gonna blow you both to hell, that's what I'm gonna do!
Butt-head: Cool.
Share this
Beavis: This sucks. It's all hot and stuff.
Butt-head: This desert is stupid. They need to put a drinking fountain out here.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. Or, like a 7-Eleven or something.
Share this
[last lines]
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head, do you think we're gonna ever score?
Butt-head: I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt-dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uh, ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah.
Beavis: 'Cause, I just need to stop by his tool shed for a couple minutes.
[laughs]
Beavis: You know what I'm saying?
Butt-head: Tool.
Share this
Agent Flemming: Well, I'll be a monkey's bare-assed uncle.
Share this
[in a church confession booth]
Man: I'm sorry. How many Hail Marys?
Beavis: A thousand. And I want you to hit yourself, right now.
Man: Um, now?
Beavis: Yeah. Do it.
[the man hits himself]
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harder.
Share this
Bill Clinton: In recognition of your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Butt-head: Whoa. Alcohol and tobacco?
Beavis: Yeah. And firearms! Yeah.
Bill Clinton: Cool, huh?
Butt-head: Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. We're in the bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. And maybe some chicks, too.
Share this
Pilot: Get the hell out of the cockpit!
Butt-head: Huh huh, you said...
Pilot: Now!
Share this
[in the trunk of Muddy's car, Butt-head finds a tire jack and begins pumping the handle]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out. I'm jacking off.
Share this
[finds a switch in Hoover Dam labeled "Master Station Control" and tries to read it]
Butt-head: Uh, Master-a... Masturbation Control?
[flicks the switch several times, making the lights in Las Vegas turn on and off]
Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, check it out! I'm masturbating.
Share this
Tom Anderson: Boy, I tell you what, it really makes ya proud. I could stay in here all day.
FBI Agent: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Share this
Marcie Anderson: They're here to look at the TV, Tom.
Tom Anderson: What? The TV ain't broken.
Beavis: Uh, yeah it is.
Share this
Butt-head: Whoa, cool. Hey, can I have a gun, too?
Share this
[noticing the open door, the stolen T.V., and the broken window]
Butt-head: Whoa. I think just figured something out, Beavis.
Beavis: What?
Butt-head: This sucks.
Beavis: Yeah. It really sucks.
Butt-head: This sucks more than anything that's ever sucked before. We must find this butt-hole that took our TV.
Share this
Butt-head: [over loudspeaker] Uh, attention. Attention. We're looking for the chick with big boobs.
Beavis: [over loudspeaker] Yeah. We are ready to do you now.
Butt-head, Beavis: Uh-huh-huh-huh.
Senators: Uh-huh-huh-huh. Uh-huh-huh-huh.
Share this
Little Old Lady: [to her husband] I want you to meet two nice boys.
[She introduces Beavis first]
Little Old Lady: This is Travis and Bob.
[to Butt-head]
Little Old Lady: And, what's your last name, dear?
Butt-head: Uh, Head. My first name is Butt.
Share this
Little Old Lady: Yoohoo! Travis and Bob Head! Hello!
Share this
Butt-head: It's like it's coming out of its ass, but then it's, like, also coming out of the ass of the ass.
Beavis: It's like the poop's coming out of the ass of the ass. Yeah.
Share this
[after Beavis and Butt-head enter the motel room]
Muddy Grimmes: Man, Earl said you guys were young, but, jeez. Oh, well. As long as you can get the job done. What are your names?
Butt-head: Uh, Butt-head.
Beavis: Oh, I'm Beavis.
Muddy Grimmes: Well, that's all right. I'd rather not know your real names, anyway. Mine's Muddy.
Share this
[Arriving at the Hoover Dam]
Beavis: We're in Washington.
Butt-head: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna score.
Little Old Lady: Actually, son, we're at the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: No, no. We're in WASHINGTON!
Butt-head: Yeah. WE'RE GONNA SCORE NOW!
Share this
[Getting back on the bus]
Butt-head: Wait a minute. We can't leave Washington till we find that chick.
Little Old Lady: Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. This is the Hoover Dam.
Beavis: Dam? Heh heh. I'll be damned.
Share this
Beavis: You must bow down to the almighty bunghole!
Share this
Muddy: You guys are late.
Butt-head: Really? Did we miss Baywatch?
Share this
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, are we gonna die?
Butt-head: Uh... Probably.
Share this
Tom Anderson: What in the hell is that damn noise?
[goes inside his camper and sees Beavis]
Tom Anderson: What?
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
Tom Anderson: [throws Beavis out of camper] And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you.
Share this
Beavis: Something's wrong with my butt.
Butt-head: Your butt sucks.
Share this
Butt-head's Dad: [sitting around a camp fire eating beans] Hey, you want to see something really cool?
[farts over camp fire which creates a fiery mushroom cloud]
Beavis: FIRE!
Share this
Muddy Grimmes: [showing a photo of Dallas] Here she is, boys. Her name's Dallas. She ain't as sweet as she looks. She stole everything from me. You gotta watch out, 'cause she'll do you twice as fast as you'd do her.
Butt-head: Whoa. Uh huh huh huh. Cool.
Share this
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, this book kicks ass. There's this talking snake, and a naked chick, and then this dude puts a leaf on his schlong.
Butt-head: Cool.
Share this
Ranger at Old Faithful: There are over 200 active geysers in Yellowstone Park. Old Faithful here is one of the largest. During an eruption, the geyser can reach as high as 200 feet.
Butt-head: So?
Ranger at Old Faithful: The - the geyser shoots out over 12,000 gallons in a single eruption.
Beavis: That's not that much, really.
Butt-head: Yeah, really. Let's get out of here. Uh-huh-huh-huh.
Share this
Muddy Grimmes: I'll pay you 10 grand plus expenses, all payable after you do her.
Butt-head: Uh, do her?
Muddy Grimmes: That's right, do her. I'm offering you $10,000 plus expenses to do my wife. We got a deal?
Beavis: Actually, we just want to watch TV.
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis. Uh... Yeah, we'll do your wife.
Beavis: No! I wanna watch TV!
Butt-head: [slaps Beavis] Damn it, Beavis, you butt-munch. This guy wants us to score with his wife, and he's gonna pay us. We can buy a new TV.
Share this
Beavis: Check it out, Butt-Head, Porta-potties.
Butt-head: Cool. I gotta take a dump.
[they go inside confession booths]
Butt-head: Uh... Where's the toilet?
Share this
[Dallas Grimmes mistakes Beavis and Butt-head for hit men who are hunting her]
Dallas Grimmes: 10 grand?
[scoffs]
Dallas Grimmes: Oh, that cheap ass. All right, I've got a better deal for you. I'll double it. I'll pay you 20 if you go back there and do him.
Butt-head: You want us to do a guy? No way.
Beavis: I don't know, Butt-Head. That is a lot of money. Maybe if we close our eyes and pretend he's a chick.
Share this
David VanDriessen: I assume you're a government agent. I would think you'd know there's something in this country called due process, okay?
Agent Fleming: That's about the kind of talk I'd expect from the guy who taught these two. Take this scum away.
David VanDriessen: I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights. Now, if...
[he is interrupted as an ATF agent slugs him in the chest with the butt of the rifle; VanDriessen moans in pain]
Share this
Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, do you think we're ever going to score?
Butt-head: Uh, I probably will, but not you. You're too much of a butt-monkey.
Beavis: Shut up, dillhole.
Butt-head: Butt dumpling.
Beavis: Turd burglar.
Butt-head: Uhhh... ass goblin.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head. Hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street?
Butt-head: Uh, yep.
Beavis: 'Cause, um, I just need to stop by his toolshed for a few minutes.
Butt-head: [giggles] Tool.
Beavis: Boi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oing!
Share this
Butt-head: [dying in the desert] Whoa, I think my life is, like, flashing in front of my eyes.
[shows Beavis and Butt-head from infancy to now, sitting on the couch, giggling and watching TV]
Butt-head: Whoa. My life was cool.
Share this
Beavis: [after spitting soda on Mr. Anderson's TV] Aaaahh! This crap is warm!
Butt-head: Beavis, you butthole, you broke it.
Beavis: Aaah, no! Dammit!
Share this
Beavis: [Notices a vulture tugging at his body] Cut it out butt-hole!
[punches it]
Share this
Beavis: [starting to hallucinate] Hey Butt-head I'm starting to feel weird, I think I'm freaking out!
Butt-head: Uh?, Okay.
Beavis: This is cool! It's like everything's all weird and stuff, there's like all these weird shapes, it's sort of like, it's like... um like a music video!
[hallucinates that Butt-head is melting and demons are crawling out of his body]
Beavis: Woah, what are you doing Butt-head?, stop it you're freaking me out, cut it out!
Share this
Butt-head: [Lifting up a trash can lid while searching for their TV] Uhhhh, it's not in here. Uh huh huh huh.
Share this
Butt-head: Uh, do you know where Washington is?
Petrified Forest Recording: [Pointing to the desert] Uh, yeah. About two thousand miles that way.
Beavis: Thanks.
Share this
Butt-head: [ogling a female flight attendant] Come to Butt-head.
Share this
[repeated line]
Beavis: I am Cornholio!
Share this
Tom Anderson: [Anderson drives by] Something wrong, officer?
ATF Agent: [holds up picture of B&B] Sir, we're looking for these two fugitives.
Tom Anderson: Well, I'll be danged. That's them two kids that have been whacking in my camper.
ATF Agent: You saw these two?
Tom Anderson: I sure did. Boy, I've never seen two kids do so much damned whacking.
ATF Agent: [on walkietalkie] This is post 9, I have positive ID.
Tom Anderson: Boy, they're just like a couple of little old spidermonkeys, I tell ya.
ATF Agent: Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you and your wife to step out of the vehicle.
Tom Anderson: Well, now, wait a minute, me and the Mrs. here are on our way to Washington DC.
ATF Agent: [points gun at Anderson] Now!
Share this
David VanDriessen: You know, this could be really positive experience for you guys. There's a wonderful and exciting world out there when we discover we don't need TV to entertain us.
Butt-head: Uh-huh huh huh! He said "anus"!
Beavis: "Entert-ain us", "ainus". Oh yeah! *laughs*
David VanDriessen: *sigh* Have you guys heard a word I've said?
Butt-head: Uhhh, yeah! Anus! *laughs*
Beavis: Yeah! I heard it too! *laughs*

Similar Documents

Free Essay

Listening Log

...3. Type/name of the program: How I Met Your Mother, CBS channel 4. Title: How I Met Your Mother, season 2 episode 7 – The Crazy Eyes (Swarley) DESCRIBE THE 20 MINUTE ACTION: Ted, Marshall and Barney are sitting in a coffee shop where they figured out is not as fun as sitting in a bar. While drinking their coffee, Ted notices a heart on Marshall’s cup. He and Barney assume that coffee shop girl has a crush on Marshall. They are encouraging him to invite her on a drink. Marshall brags about how she likes his pumpkin jokes. That in Ted’s opinion can mean only two things – either girl has never heard a joke before, or has a crush on Marshall. Marshall is, however, not convinced. Ted and Barney try to prove him that heart next to his name is meaning something. When doing that, Barney discovers that his name is not written correctly. Instead of Barney is Swarley. He realizes this name will stick to him. Second scene takes place at Robin’s apartment. Robin is girlfriend of Ted. She is on the phone with her mother, but she is willing to talk to Ted even though her mother is still speaking. Ted tells her about Marshall and his date and that he helped him get the girl. Robin discovers that look, that made her sleep with Ted was fake. She can’t believe she fell for it until Ted reminds her that she has a familiar look for seducing. Lily, Marshall’s ex-girlfriend appears with plans for next evening. She is considering inviting Marshall too, but Ted tells her that he is busy. Lily...

Words: 3252 - Pages: 14

Free Essay

Metting in Minutes

...How I Met Your Mother Opening January 13, 2015 The regular meeting of the How I Met Your Mother was called to order at 6:30 on January 13,2015 in CBS by Erin Schwartz. Present Ted Mosby, Lily Aldrin, Marshal Erikson, Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky Scene One Lily Aldrin is having contractions in her apartment while Ted and Robin are freaking out. Ted had this crazy idea that he should make an email to send to their family and friends to let people know she’s going into labor but Lily doesn’t want that. The only thing Lily wants right now is for Ted and Robin to tell her stories about their friendship to keep her mind occupied from the pain. While Ted and Robin are telling Lily these stories, Barney is in a casino with Marshal (Lily husband) who drank a little too much Barney promised Marshal he would get him there in time for the baby. If he does he asked if he could choose the middle name of the baby which is ‘Wait for it.’ The only way Barney could get Marshal back in New York is to try to win a motorcycle. They lost so Barney decided it was time to steal it, but he got caught. Eventually, They caught a bus and Barney convinced the bus driver to drop them off at the hospital just in time for the baby arrival. Agenda for Next Meeting A jump to the future finds the gang celebrating Barney's wedding and reminiscing about how they emboldened Ted to seek true love and do whatever it takes to get back with the one that got away. Adjournment Meeting was adjourned...

Words: 301 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

Brief Character Analysis of Barney Stinson

...Barnabus “Barney” Stinson: A Legen….Wait for It…Dary but Brief Character Analysis Ivy Tech Community College PSYC 101 Barnabus “Barney” Stinson: A Legen….Wait for It…Dary but Brief Character Analysis Barnabus “Barney” Stinson is one of the main characters of the show “How I Met Your Mother”, portrayed by Neil Patrick Harris. “How I Met Your Mother” is a comedy sitcom on CBS about five friends living in New York, which centers on Ted Mosby and his quest to find true love. The series is narrated by the future Ted Mosby telling his children an extremely long and elaborate story about how he met their mother. Barney Stinson is one of Ted’s best friends, and a great source of comedy for the show. Barney is a serial womanizer with father issues and questionable actions. He has a unique personality and uses crazy and elaborate tactics to seduce women. His single mother raised Barney and his older brother James. Barney and James both asked about their fathers but their mother would either lie to them or change the subject. Throughout his childhood, Barney was constantly lied to by his mother to protect his feelings. For example, Barneys mother told him he could not play on the basketball team because he was to good and it would be unfair to the other players, when in reality the coach did not want him on the team. Barney was an unpopular child and was picked on and bullied by other kids his age. One major thing that happened in Barneys adulthood that helped shape his character...

Words: 2190 - Pages: 9

Free Essay

Himym & Sexist Ideology

...How I Met Your Mother Show and the Sexist Ideology The television show, How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) was first aired on CBS television in the year 2005. Its airing continued until March 2014 with its different episodes eliciting a lot of public attention and curiosity partly because of the unique way in which its core theme was being passed to the audience. Throughout the TV show, Ted Mosby emerges as an unmatched main character. It is through the activities of Ted and his group of close friends that live in Manhattan that Ted manages to articulate to his daughter and son the various issues, activities, and challenges that he addresses as he falls in love with their mother – Ted’s wife. In this paper, I argue that the show has a sexist ideology that emphasizes the fact that women are easy to manipulate and can be used in any way that a man desires (Matterhorn 4-13; Capps 1-3). The sexist or feminist ideology is very dominant in the show. The relationship between Ted Mosby and other characters plays an important role in communicating critical love relationships in a comic way. The use of comedy greatly helps the film writers and actors to incorporate vital messages in a rather jovial manner. Issues that would otherwise be considered sensitive are therefore portrayed in a keen and very peculiar manner that also addresses the challenges and good experiences that people in relationships often experience. Indeed, Ted is a character in the CBS television show that is over focused...

Words: 1392 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Andrew Carnegie: The Death Of John D. Rockefeller

...This episode starts off just recapping some of things that happened in the first episode. Cornelius Vanderbilt died after a long life of hard work in the business of the railroads. Jon D. Rockefeller shot onto the scene as one of the most successful oil men in America, and as a result almost completely put the railroads out of business. A man that still managed to keep his railroad alive was Tom Scott and hid protege Andrew Carnegie. When Rockefeller found out that Scott had built an oil line that basically undermined the ones that he had already built, he pulled all of his oil off Scott’s train and ultimately put Scott out of business. The fall of Scott’s railroad empire was a huge blow to him and was ultimately caused his death. This was a traumatic experience for Carnegie as Scott was a very important figure in his life. Before Scott died he took Carnegie to the mighty Mississippi and told him his plan to build a bridge across the river to connect the East and West sides of the United States. Carnegie saw this as an opportunity to make it big in the business world just like his mentor Scott did with the railroads. Carnegie from that point on started to meet with different designers and men who had a background in bridge building. Every man that he would speak to kept telling him that it was impossible and that it was never going to work because the iron that they had available at the time wasn’t strong enough to with stand the weight of the bridge. Steel at the time was a...

Words: 1061 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Evaluation

...What are the qualities of a great story? It has to be memorable or extraordinary. The story could not take place without unique characters, and would be dull without an interesting plot. Without these qualities, a story becomes boring and is lost in the realm of mediocrity. In CBS’s hit sitcom How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby embarks on the journey of storytelling. In the year 2030, Ted tells his two children of the epic tale of how he met their mother 25 years earlier. Seven seasons later, the story continues, and is as great as ever. Through funny, believable characters portrayed by excellent actors, gut busting humor, and an emotionally appealing storyline, this show has become a staple of primetime television. Over the course of seven seasons, viewers of the show have seen great changes to the characters, but they retain the initial qualities that made them beloved from the first season. Josh Radnor plays the main character, Ted Mosby. Ted is an architect living in an apartment in New York City with his roommate from college, Marshall Eriksen, played by Jason Segel, and his girlfriend Lily, played by Alyson Hannigan. Played by Neil Patrick Harris, Barney Stinson is the womanizing “wingman” who helps Ted with his endeavors as a bachelor. On one of Barney and Ted’s bar-scene adventures, Ted meets the girl of his dreams, Robin Scherbatsky, played by Cobie Smulders. Ted can be easily described as a helpless romantic. He tries his best to believe...

Words: 1873 - Pages: 8

Free Essay

How I Met You

...How I Met Your Mother (often abbreviated to HIMYM) is an American sitcom that originally ran on CBS from September 19, 2005 to March 31, 2014. The series follows the main character, Ted Mosby, and his group of friends in Manhattan. As a framing device, Ted, in the year 2030, recounts to his son and daughter the events that led him to meeting their mother. The show was created by Craig Thomas and Carter Bays, who also served as the show's executive producers and were frequent writers. The series was loosely inspired by their friendship when they both lived in New York City.[1] Among the 208 episodes, there were only four directors: Pamela Fryman (196 episodes), Rob Greenberg (7 episodes), Michael Shea (4 episodes), and Neil Patrick Harris (1 episode). Known for its unique structure and eccentric humor, How I Met Your Mother has gained a cult following over the years. The show initially received positive reviews, with the later seasons receiving more mixed reviews.[2][3][4][5] The show was nominated for 28 Emmy Awards, winning nine. In 2010, Alyson Hannigan won the People's Choice Award for Favorite TV Comedy Actress. In 2012, seven years after its premiere, the series won the People's Choice Award for Favorite Network TV Comedy, and Neil Patrick Harris won the award for Favorite TV Comedy Actor. The ninth and final season began airing on September 23, 2013, and concluded on March 31, 2014 with a double-length finale episode, with an ending that received mixed reviews by...

Words: 263 - Pages: 2

Free Essay

Bro Code

...you're thirty. 4. Always open a door for a lady. Even if she's ugly. 5. Own at least one suit, but twelve if you can. 6. Keep your apartment chilly. Nipples reveal themselves at temperatures below 60° F / 150° C. 7. An easy way to score chicks is to pose as a NASCAR driver because they're rich, dangerous, and nobody knows what they look like because, duh, helmets. 8. Mani-pedis are not just for girls, but drinks with umbrellas emphatically are, Marshall. 9. Two never-fail ways to grease a bouncer: Slip him a $20, or compliment his neck muscles. 10. Have a "guy" for everything. 11. If it seems like the group is almost ready to go, play it safe and yell, "Shotgun!" 12. Remove your keys from your front pocket before receiving a lap dance. It's called respect. Plus, you'll feel it on your junk more. 13. Learning to play the air drums will save your life one day. 14. Give at least as many high fives as you get. 15. Subscribe to "O" magazine. It's full of great tips and tricks for around the house. 16. Have sex in a bathroom stall. 17. If you ever find yourself in a tricky situation, ask yourself, "What would Ted do?" and do the exact opposite. 18. Teacup pigs might be lady-magnets, but they apparently don't digest chocolate. 19. If you ever meet a contortionist, I swear to God don't you ever let her go. I am so serious about this. I gotta sit down or something. Maybe drink some water. 20. Trying to ogle two boobs at the same time is like reading in a car – it'll...

Words: 5144 - Pages: 21

Premium Essay

Religion and Gender

...elements and properties. The media Now I would like to focus on the attendance of gender stereotypes in the mass media, which nowadays has a great power and reaches large audiences. In order to create a medium which is universal, understandable and acceptable for numerous and diverse recipients, senders very often use stereotypes, which fill the social life and evoke certain associations. However, mass media not only gives people information and entertainment, but, also affects people’s lives by shaping their opinions, attitudes and beliefs. Men have been perceived as the head of the household and women were mainly housewives. Nowadays the differences between male and female roles are smaller, however mass media still perpetuates traditional gender stereotypes. Moreover, due to their great influence on people’s attitudes, they can depict certain social groups in negative and unrealistic manner. They can be a very useful tool for those remaining power. By manipulating the message, media can create a certain image of reality, which is consistent with the policy of the dominant group. As a result, the reflection of a real world is incomplete and distorted. Although people are aware of the unequal representation of certain social groups in mass media, it is hard to remain objective and insensitive to its influence. Religion interacts very closely with culture and since gender roles are defined by a culture, how religion interacts with culture can affect how religion treats gender roles...

Words: 1312 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Pressured Prince

...wife pulled him close, and with her dying breath told the king, “Please find yourself another wife, one who treats you as well as I do, and brings happiness back to you and the people of the kingdom,” said the good queen. The man wept by her side, shaking his head, refusing to follow her wish, for he could not love anyone like he had loved her. The great king was reduced to sobbing and weeping like a little boy beside his late wife. But the ministers disagreed—by law, the ruler of the kingdom must rule within wedlock; otherwise the kingdom would be passed down. “Let my son have it, let him take my place, I will never be fit to rule over house, let alone a kingdom. Find him a bride, and arrange the wedding and coronation under the light of the next moon. This will be my final act as king. Now let me retire to my chambers beside my passed wife.” The young prince looked in horror—his shock after losing his mother was now tenfold after hearing he would marry and inherit the kingdom before the next full moon. He ran to his room and wept quietly on his bed, as he could not talk any sense into his father. “Oh child, what’s the matter?” Sensing his troubles, his godmother, the Rose Fairy, materialized in the room and sat next him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Grieving for your mother? It’s okay, my young prince, I am here now.” “Yes, godmother,” sniffled the prince, “but there’s more....

Words: 1180 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Most Influential Person

...in my life who have had an influence on me rather it was good or bad. I must say that the most influential person in my life was a complete stranger. Life is full of positive and negative things. Sometimes I would wake up feelings like nothing in my life was going right. I've felt this way since I was about 15 years old. At that age, I packed my things and attempted to run away from home. Along with feeling somewhat neglected by my mother. My life was full of negative things. I dropped out of school at...

Words: 1052 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Study Habgits and Academic Performance

...lung cancer. Harry appeared in his room going near to him and sit beside him with pitiful face. “ I lost everything I owned ,” Shan uttered softly I thought I had learned my lessons in life and surely wouldn’t make the same mistakes again! But I was wrong. I consider myself to be an irresponsible person. “No, you are good and responsible person, Harry said” I should blame myself Harry, come on don’t be like numb pretending that I’m fine. I’m not fine Harry I’m not. “Ok stop it,” Harry shouted. Harry was a very upright and religious man. A mutual friend of Shan who seeks help to his friend when he needs financial problems. They are best of friends since at the age of 15.Harry knew that Shan is an adopted child of his godparents the wealthiest among the popular person in their country. What happen to you Shan? You are not like this when we were young. What makes you to do this? Harry murmured facing Shan where asleep. Then he remembered before Shan was in the hand of Capobianco couple. Still fresh in his mind that his aunt and his godmother talking about adoption. He was in the kitchen at that time when he heard the story of his godmother. I met my husband while I was living and working in London and we got married when I was 27 and he was 29; says Veronica. I have always been career focused and assumed the desire for children would kick in at some point. A year later after our wedding...

Words: 1092 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Character Analysis Of Jefferson In Ernest J. Gaines A Lesson Before Dying

...He is walking towards the chair, walking towards his death, the death he did not deserve. This is exactly the case of Jefferson, a main character in Ernest J. Gaines A Lesson Before Dying. Jefferson is falsely accused of murder and sentenced to death by electric chair. His godmother, Miss Emma, assigns Grant Wiggins, a young educated man, to teach Jefferson human dignity. Although she has given the job to Grant, she takes part herself in the teaching of Jefferson, along with the local reverend, Reverand Ambrose. Grant and Miss Emma both care about Jefferson’s fate, but they have different views on how to approach him, therefore, it takes a combination of different views to teach human dignity. While Grant cares about Jefferson, he thinks that...

Words: 1043 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Student

... 3. Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. 7. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. John 3:1-3,7. In this passage, Jesus had a discussion with a man called Nicodemus. Jesus was at home one night when Nicodemus came to him. Nicodemus was a very important person in town. He could have been a Member of Parliament or the Chairman of the Metropolitan Assembly. Perhaps, he was a patron of the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church or the Lighthouse Church. He was a very important person. The Bible says he was a ruler of the Jews, a master of Israel, a leader in the synagogues. Nicodemus would not come to see Jesus during the day. He came at night, so that all the people who respected him would not see him. This prominent Jewish leader said something to Jesus, which prompted Him to give an interesting reply. When you look at the passage, you wonder why Jesus said all that he said to the man. After all, Nicodemus did not ask him, “How can I go to heaven?” He said to Jesus, “Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.” In other words, this man told Jesus that he recognized Him as a great man of God. But Jesus saw right through him and replied, “You must be born again.” Jesus saw right through him and replied; “You are a good person. I know you pay tithes and fast often. You are a Pharisee...

Words: 5029 - Pages: 21

Premium Essay

Financial Plan

...Table of contents 1.   Executive  Summary  ..................................................................................................  3   2.  Service  Policy  and  Disclaimers  ................................................................................  4   3.  Family  Profile  .................................................................................................................  6   4.  Goals  and  Objectives  ....................................................................................................  8   4.1.  Short-­‐term  Goals  ................................................................................................................  9   4.2.  Mid-­‐term  Goals  ....................................................................................................................  9   4.3.  Long-­‐term  Goals   ..................................................................................................................  9   5.  Risk  Profile  ...................................................................................................................  10   5.1.  Risk  Profile  Conclusion  ..................................................................................................  12   5.2.  Risk  Recommendation  ......................................................

Words: 16427 - Pages: 66