3. Type/name of the program: How I Met Your Mother, CBS channel
4. Title: How I Met Your Mother, season 2 episode 7 – The Crazy Eyes (Swarley)
DESCRIBE THE 20 MINUTE ACTION:

Ted, Marshall and Barney are sitting in a coffee shop where they figured out is not as fun as sitting in a bar. While drinking their coffee, Ted notices a heart on Marshall’s cup. He and Barney assume that coffee shop girl has a crush on Marshall. They are encouraging him to invite her on a drink. Marshall brags about how she likes his pumpkin jokes. That in Ted’s opinion can mean only two things – either girl has never heard a joke before, or has a crush on Marshall. Marshall is, however, not convinced. Ted and Barney try to prove him that heart next to his name is meaning something. When doing that, Barney discovers that his name is not written correctly. Instead of Barney is Swarley. He realizes this name will stick to him. Second scene takes place at Robin’s apartment. Robin is girlfriend of Ted. She is on the phone with her mother, but she is willing to talk to Ted even though her mother is still speaking. Ted tells her about Marshall and his date and that he helped him get the girl. Robin discovers that look, that made her sleep with Ted was fake. She can’t believe she fell for it until Ted reminds her that she has a familiar look for seducing. Lily, Marshall’s ex-girlfriend appears with plans for next evening. She is considering inviting Marshall too, but Ted tells her that he is busy. Lily is surprised to hear that her ex-boyfriend started dating again but she seems to be fine with it. Meanwhile Robin forgets about her phone conversation and gives her mother random answer that will keep her speaking for a little longer. In a bar, Ted comes from restroom and starts asking Barney about his suit’s fabric. Barney is impressed to hear that Ted is asking him about his suit, but he soon realizes Ted does not want to know anything about his Moroccan fabric when he hears that bartender is searching for Swarley. It becomes obvious that on the other line of the phone is Ted, asking to immediately find Swarley. In that moment Marshall appears along with his date – Chloe. When she leaves in restroom, Barney and Ted warn about Chloe’s crazy eyes. Marshall does not believe in crazy eyes, so Barney decides to share his story about the time when he ignored the crazy eyes and almost ended up in a threesome with a girl and her teddy bear. Ted also tells his story when his date was a normal person until she beat up a car from a lady who did not see Ted and her walking over the street. Soon, Marshall starts to realize that maybe his friends were right and she has crazy eyes after Chloe called him during the test for nine times and told him hard-to-believe kind of story about what happened. After that he meets with Barney and Ted in bar where they confirmed this is a case of needy crazy eyes. Barney’s attempt to call Ted Ned has failed and Ted thinks Barney has pulled sad attempt to stop calling him Swarley. Story continues in Marshall and Ted’s apartment where Marshall took Chloe after date. When he is kitchen, he hears as something fall down. Chloe tells him she dropped her keys and Marshall believes her until he returns to living room where he sees his picture with Lily is broken. Marshall is now determined that he will find craziness in her eyes. Chloe almost kisses him but Lily interrupts them when she jumps between them from behind the couch. Narrator or older Ted is now presenting us Lily’s side of a story. She called Robin to the bar and asks her why she did not call her after Lily gave Robin ‘call me’ look in front of Ted. She was interested about Chloe so she went to search her. She followed her in rain, covered with a coat with a big backpack on her back that looked like a limp. Lily calls Chloe by her name with different voice and she realizes Chloe is not ugly. Ted calls Barney, Robin and Lily in his apartment and turns on the volume on radio so Barney could hear a song for Swarley, a woman who was dumped by Barney. Barney is trying to convince them that he is fine with new name, however, Ted figures him out because he cannot say Swarley. Barney becomes really upset and runs out of the apartment. Because this was happening before Marshall’s date, Lily is interested in where the picture of them is. Ted tells her that it is behind the books since they broke up. Lily suggests that it would be good if they put picture on the end table so Chloe could see it. They do not do it, but later Lily returns to put it where she wants a picture to be. She is interrupted by Marshall and Chloe’s arrival. She accidently breaks their picture and hides under the table. This brings us back to the scene when she jumped from the back of the sofa. She apologizes to Chloe and Marshall and runs out. Marshall comes out and sits with her. She tells him about how she chased Chloe down the street and how she broke a picture of them. Then it becomes clear to Marshall that Chloe does not have crazy eyes, its Lily’s that are crazy. Lily tells him to return to his date but he stays with her. They kiss. In the distance, Ted and Barney are trying to figure out the way to make Barney not be called Swarley any longer. As they go along they ran into Lily and Marshall on the same steps as six months ago Ted found Marshall crying over his love.

TRANSCRIPTION

TED: So I guess that decides it.
MARSHALL: Yep.
BARNEY: Hanging out in a coffee place is not nearly much fun as hanging out in a bar.
TED: Hey, what’s that?
MARSHALL: What?
TED: That cute coffee girl put a heart by your name.
BARNEY: Somebody has a crush on you. Somebody thinks you’re me.
MARSHALL: So you really think she likes me? I mean I guess it’s not that surprising, every time I come in here I do totally crack her up.
GIRL: Marshall here is your pumpkin latte.
MARSHALL: Wow. How did you fit a pumpkin into this little cup?
GIRL: Hahahah!
BOY: I’ll have a pumpkin latte.
MARSHALL: How do they even fit a pumpkin into these cups? What, you’ve got a shrinker back there?
GIRL: Hahah!
MARSHALL: Hey, remember that time when I said that thing about how do they fit a pumpkin into the little cup?
GIRL: Which time?
MARSHAL: Am, the first time.
GIRL: Yeah, that was really funny.
MARSHALL: Right.
TED: All right, there’s only two reasons she’d laugh at that – one, it’s the first joke she’s ever heard or two, she likes you. You should totally ask her out.
MARSHALL: You think?
TED: Yeah, that’s why you’re not back with Lily, right, so you can experience what is like to be single.
MARSHALL: Well, what if the heart doesn’t mean anything? Maybe she writes it on all the cups.
TED: Mine says Ted, no heart.
BARNEY: Mine says … Swarley. How’d they get Swarley from Barney? It’s not even a name! Who would ever be called Swarley? Oh please, don’t start calling me Swarley. This would never happen at a bar!
TED: Man, what’s up with Swarley?
MARSHALL: I know, ya almost never see old Swarls get that upset…
TED: Hey, guess what. Oh, sorry.
ROBIN: Oh, it’s only my mom, she’s just rambling like always… aha. What happened?
TED: Marshall asked out a girl.
ROBIN: Oh, if anything that’s dad’s fault. That’ll keep her going a while.
TED: Oh, of course, you know, he got a little help.
ROBIN: Swarley hooked him up?
TED: Oh, good, you got my text!
ROBIN: Yeah.
TED: Oh no, it was me; I told Marshall all of my secrets… So what she said?
MARSHALL: Nothing. I don’t think she heard me; it’s pretty busy up there.
TED: Wha… You gave her the look, right? Head down, eyes looking up, hands in pockets, shoulders up, head slightly to….. vulnerability?
MARSHALL: I think so. Look, can we just go?
BOY2: Pumpkin latte for Marshall!
MARSHALL: I didn’t order that… Phone number!
ROBIN: I love that look! I think I slept with you because of that look. And it’s fake?
TED: Oh, and you biting your lower lip, shyly looking away and thrusting your chest down is natural?
ROBIN: Yeah, I hear ya.
TED: Hey!
LILY: Hey guys. Are you free tomorrow night? I was thinking of having a wine tasting slash help me catch the rat in my apartment party.
TED: That’s great idea. You can put out cheese for both.
LILY: I should invite Marshall, right? It’ll be weird if I didn’t.
TED: Yeah, I don’t think he can go.
LILY: Really? Why not?
ROBIN: Am, ok, am, Lily we have to tell you something. Marshall has a date.
LILY: Oh, well, good for him.
TED: Really? You’re ok with him?
LILY: Look we’re broken up almost six months. I mean, I’m not thrilled about the idea, but he has every right to date someone else.
ROBIN: That’s very mature.
LILY: Why are you holding the phone?
ROBIN: Oh, shoot.
ROBIN’S MOM: Isn’t that amazing?
ROBIN: Hahah, that’s hilarious, mom. Didn’t even notice.
TED: Hey, dude, by the way, I really like that suit. Tell me about the fabric, is it foreign or something?
BARNEY: Wow, it is foreign, I’m impressed, Ted. It’s Moroccan, actually.
BARTENDER: I’ve gotta call for Swarley! Is Swarley here?
BARNEY: You weren’t interested in my suit at all, were you?
BARTENDER: Swarley?
TED: Yeah, am, I know he’s there, it’s really important, could you ask again?
BARTENDER: Important call for Swarley!
MARSHALL: Jesus, can’t you hear Swarley, there’s a call for you.
BARNEY: Stop calling me that!
MARSHALL: Am, hey, I’d like you to officially meet Chloe.
TED: Hi.
CHLOE: Hi.
BARNEY: Hi.
CHLOE: It’s nice to meet you guys. I’ll be right back.
MARSHALL: Yeah, it’s right back there. Right? Right? She’s hot! And she likes me, she likes Italian food, I also like Italian food, she likes Billy Joe, I also like… music. And I think we’re gonna go out again.
BARNEY: Dude, you’ve gotta dich her.
TED: Obviously.
MARSHALL: What? Why?
BARNEY: She’s got the crazy eyes.
TED: Dude, the eyes, they’re crazy.
MARSHAL: What do you guys talk about? The crazy eyes?
BARNEY: It’s a well-documented condition of the pupils. Or puby..
TED: No, just pupils.
BARNEY: It’s an indicator of future mental instability.
MARSHALL: She does not have the crazy eyes!
TED: You just can’t see it because you’re afflicted with ‘haven’t been laid in a while’ blindness.
BARNEY: She’s too far away in the coffee place, but when I saw her up closest, now.
MARSHALL: I’d like you guys to officially meet Chloe.
TED: Hi.
CHLOE: Hi.
BARNEY: Hi.
CHLOE: It’s nice to meet you guys.
MARSHALL: Guys I’m not gonna stop dating Chloe just because you think she has the crazy eyes.
BARNEY: You keep going out with her, but you’re gonna regret it. One time I met a girl at this very bar. I saw that she had the crazy eyes. But I ignored it. And then sure enough…
BARNEY’S GIRL: Barney, can I ask you a question?
BARNEY: Anything.
BARNEY’S GIRL: Would you like to have a threesome?
BARNEY: Of course!
BARNEY’S GIRL: Great! It’ll be me, you and Mr. Weasels.
TED: So, did you do it?
BARNEY: No, it ended up being just a twosome with the third one watching from a chair.
TED: Which one were you?
BARNEY: I’d rather not say.
TED: Look, here’s the time I didn’t believe in the crazy eyes either, and then I met Jeanine. She had serious crazy eyes. I told myself I was just imagining it, but then… So, should we go get a drink?
JEANINE: As long as it’s in your apartment.
LADY: Oh, I’m sorry.
JEANINE: Watch! So where do you live?
MARSHALL: You guys, Chloe is not gonna do any of that stuff. She’s a nice girl from Nebraska, she’s not crazy, she’s, she’s awesome!
NARRATOR: But you can’t avoid crazy eyes forever. Sooner or later the craziness comes bubbling to the surface.
MARSHALL: Hello?
CHLOE: Marshall, it’s Chloe.
MARSHALL: Are you the one who’s called me like nine times?
CHLOE: Yeah, could you come get me?
MARSHALL: I’m in the middle of taking a test.
CHLOE: Please, I’m so scared.
MARSHALL: Well, what’s going on?
CHLOE: This weird midget guy started following me and he was screaming at me and he had a limp and a big hump on his back and police won’t believe me. And I almost got trampled by a horse! And … God, I must sound totally crazy to you right now.
MARSHALL: No, pf, not at all.
TED: So she’s needy crazy. That’s one of the worst kind.
BARNEY: I’ve had one of those. Makes up stories to get attention. When I … for three weeks, her dad died twice.
MARSHALL: Guys! She was really freaked out, ok. Maybe the story is true.
BARNEY: What in the world would make you believe that is a true story?
MARSHALL: She’s really hot.
BARNEY: They always are.
WAITRESS: Ya’ll all done with that, Ted?
TED: Yeah.
BARNEY: Ned, I told you to call him Ned.
TED: Oh, that’s just sad.
WAITRESS: Sorry Swarley.
CHLOE: So, does just you and Ted live here or does Swarley live here too?
MARSHALL: Nah, Swarhilli has his own place. What was that?
CHLOE: Oh, I dropped my keys.
MARSHALL: Oh. So here you go – two pumpkin beers. I’m joking…. Beers. What is that? This picture is broken.
CHLOE: Oh, that’s too bad. Is that Lily? It’s that the girl you were gonna marry?
MARSHALL: Yeah. Is that what that sound was? Did you just smash this?
CHLOE: No, why would I do that?
MARSHALL: Let me look into your eyes.
CHLOE: Okay. I had a really nice time tonight.
MARSHALL: Yeah, me too, stop blinking.
CHLOE: I like your eyes a lot too.
LILY: Stop! Hi. I’m Lily.
NARRATOR: Now I know Aunt Lily hiding in an apartment while uncle Marshall was on the date with another girl seems pretty crazy. But when you hear her side of a story… Well it’s still pretty crazy.
ROBIN: What’s up Swarles?
BARNEY: No, ok? No, no more, I will not let this become a thing. It’s over! No more Swarley, no Swarles, no more Swar-ley, no more Swar-wait for it-ley, no more Bob Swarleyman! No more! No! It’s over! Do you understand?

SHORT SUMMARY:

‘How I Met Your Mother’ is American TV show about Ted telling his children a story about how he met their mother. His stories include four of his closest friends – Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney and many of their adventures before the time Ted met his wife. Transcripted episode is from second season and it is seventh episode of it. Currently there are eight episodes of this show. This episode is mainly about Marshall going on first date after he and Lily broke up.

LANGUAGE FOCUS:

Writing down the transcription for this log was much easier for me because I am familiar with TV show and the way they speak, especially because I usually watch episodes without subtitles. Firstly, I would like to pay attention to spoken language. In general it was understandable, because many people use similar spoken language in their everyday interactions. Tempo was also normal for everyday conversation and sentences between persons were not overlapping. This made it easier to hear the correct words. Pronunciation of words was mostly clear; it happened rarely that I did not hear correct word that was spoken.
MARSHALL: Oh. So here you go – two pumpkin beers. I’m joking…. Beers. What is that? This picture is broken.
Language is colloquial and it includes some American English slang words and also informal words. Informal language is seen also in some phrases (e.g. ‘hooked him up’ – get him together with a girl; ‘got a crush’ – has an intense feeling of love for someone that you haven’t had relationship with; ‘crack her up’ – make her laugh; ‘ditch her’ – leave her). Another thing I noticed when I was working on transcription was use of words ‘guys’ and ‘dude’, also informal words, used for people ( guys – can be used for both women and men; dude – American English slang term for an individual). Due to colloquial language there was a lot of shortening in text used, mainly was shortening used for infinitive (going to – gonna; want to – wanna) and in other cases for pronouns (you – ya).
Example 1:
MARSHALL: Guys I’m not gonna stop dating Chloe just because you think she has the crazy eyes.
Example 2:
ROBIN: Yeah, I hear ya.
Shortening was also used for verbs ‘be’ and ‘have’ in negative form. BARNEY: You weren’t interested in my suit at all, were you? TED: You just can’t see it because you’re afflicted with ‘haven’t been laid in a while’ blindness.
I would like to point out a sentence, which was spoken by Ted to Marshall.
TED: You just can’t see it because you’re afflicted with ‘haven’t been laid in a while’ blindness.
A phrase ‘haven’t been laid in a while’ is also colloquial and word ‘laid’ is slang word meaning ‘to have sexual intercourse’. ‘Haven’t been laid in a while blindness’ can be explained, because of meaning of word ‘laid’, as ‘having sexual intercourse with anybody, no matter how they look or what is their behavior like, because you have not have sexual intercourse for a while’. Another thing that is typical for informal English are hedges and meaningless expressions. Hedges were used to start sentence with or to connect two sentences or thoughts together (so, yeah, I mean, well…) . Hedge, which was used to start sentence can be seen at very first line of text.
TED: So I guess that decides it.
Meaningless expressions were used as a way to be excited about something, to show disappointment or to express some other emotions.
Example 1:
ROBIN: Hahah, that’s hilarious, mom. Didn’t even notice.
Example 2:
LILY: Oh, well, good for him. Through the text I found one repetition. It was made to make bigger impression on the listener (MARSHALL: Yeah, it’s right back there. Right? Right? She’s hot! And she likes me, she likes Italian food, I also like Italian food, she likes Billy Joe, I also like… music. And I think we’re gonna go out again.). Last thing I noticed was that verb ‘be’ was not always used correctly in sentence (TED: All right, there’s only two reasons she’d laugh at that – one, it’s the first joke she’s ever heard or two, she likes you. You should totally ask her out.). In this particular case, there should be “there’re” instead of “there’s” in sentence.

--------------------------------------------
[ 1 ]. Previously mentioned as GIRL
[ 2 ]. Narrator of the story is future Ted, telling his children about how he met their mother