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What it means to be Bicultural
Moving to a new place, especially a new country can be life changing. Dinaw Mengestu and Jhumpa Lahiri are both authors that have shared their story on growing up within two different cultures and how they struggled with their culture identities. Lahiri is the author of “My Two Lives” that tells her story of being an Indian-American who felt torn between two totally different worlds. Her parents pushed her to be in touch with her Indian culture while the society of America pushed her to act more American. Mengestu is the author of “Home at Last” which tells his story of growing up bicultural as an Ethiopian-American and figuring out what he sought to be as an adult. Unlike Lahiri, Mengestu’s parents didn’t push his Ethiopian culture on him, in fact he didn’t know it at all. Mengestu wasn’t torn between two cultures like Lahiri, rather he was torn between what society thought he should be because of how he looked, and where he felt he belong. Although being bicultural makes the authors feel misplaced at times, their parents roles also comes as a blessing and both authors find resolution as adults. While Lahiri felt as if she was battling between two different worlds, Mengestu struggled to find his place in any culture. Lahiri’s parents moved to America when she was two years old, and she has lived there ever since, besides the months at a time spent in India. Even though Lahiri’s parents moved to America, they still kept their Indian culture flourishing at home by keeping up with their Indian traditions such as eating Indian food and speaking in Bengali. “At home I followed the customs of my parents, speaking in Bengali and eating rice and dal with my fingers. These ordinary facts seemed part of a secret, utterly alien way of life.”(Lahiri) As shown in this quote from My Two Lives, Lahiri was comfortable at home with her well known Indian culture, but she was lost when she had to go out into American society. Lahiri felt pressured to be two different people; American to society and her friends, and Indian when she was at home. Even while this pressure to be both was prominent in her mind, American society seeped in and started to overtake her Indian culture. “I also entered a world my parents had little knowledge or control of: school, books, music, television, things that seeped in and became a fundamental aspect of who I am (Lahiri).” This quote demonstrates that the more she indulged in American culture the less connected she felt to her Indian culture. Although she wanted to branch into American culture, Lahiri still felt a part of two opposite worlds that wouldn’t connect, until as an adult she found that she can’t choose between the two. Indian-American Is what she is and she feels pride in that. Unlike Lahiri, Mengestu wasn’t torn between two cultures, but rather felt like he didn’t belong to any. Unaccepted for what he looked like by white people and neglected by his original culture. Mengestu had had enough. “By the time I arrived in Brooklyn I had little interest in where I actually landed. I had just graduated college and had had enough of the fights and arguments about not being black enough, as well as the earlier fights… that were fought for simply being black (Mengestu).” This quote from Home at Last shows that while growing up, Mengestu didn’t have a culture to belong to and just wanted to find a place he fit in. The difference of why Lahiri’s family kept the culture alive and Mengestu’s didn’t was because, Mengestu’s family was forced to move because of the revolution. Because he and his family had to leave Ethiopia against their will, they felt grief from losing people as well as not being able to connect with America. This grief stopped them from sharing their Ethiopian culture with Mengestu, causing him to feel disconnected from two different societies. He wasn’t able to speak the language to speak to other Ethiopians in the area and he was a different skin color which pushed him out of most of the American social groups. Although Lahiri and Mengestu both have two different cultures under their belt, Lahiri was able to associate herself with both of her cultures while Mengestu couldn’t assimilate with either. When he wasn’t able to fit into American culture because of his skin color, he didn’t have the option to fall back on his root culture and this fact led him to feeling like an outsider. Lahiri and Mengestu found themselves doing whatever it takes to fit into the American culture, and this ultimately made them feel as if they were imposters. Being from India, a place far different from America Lahiri always felt that no matter what she did to fit into American society, there would always be something different about that would keep her from being viewed as American. “And yet there was evidence that I was not entirely American. In addition to my distinguishing looks, I did not attend Sunday school… and disappeared to India for months at a time”(Lahiri). Lahiri may have practiced many American traditions such as: music, television, and the language but her dark skin and Indian name always made her feel as if she was pretending to be someone she wasn’t. Lahiri no longer wanted to be stretched between two cultures, so she was reaching out to her new culture in hopes of grasping onto it and no longer feeling wavering of the two but Lahiri’s parents thought otherwise. “According to my parents I was not American, nor would I ever be no matter how hard I tried. I felt doomed by their pronouncement”(Lahiri). Lahiri tried so hard to be American and fit into what society was telling her to, but because of her parents telling her that she could never be American she began to feel like an imposter. Similar to Lahiri Mengestu also has parents that are pushing him to be something that he feels he isn’t. Although Mengestu was born in Ethiopia he doesn’t feel as if he is actually from Ethiopia because he can’t connect with the culture, language or traditions. “I simply am Ethiopian without the necessary “from” that serves as the final assurance of our identity and origin”(Mengestu 111). Mengestu feels like an imposter because although he is from Ethiopia he has no connections with it, so saying he is from there when he feels he doesn’t belong doesn’t feel right. Also, because of his dark skin color, it is hard for Mengestu to fit in. With the whites he is too black and with the dark skinned people from Ethiopia he isn’t black enough simply because he can’t speak the language or have knowledge on the culture.

When Mengestu and Lahiri find peace with being bicultural as adults, they both use traditions of their parents as a way to stay in tuned with who they are. Ultimately, Lahiri felt as though she had to keep in touch with being Indian wasn’t because of society, or her looks, but because of her parents. Even though Lahiri spent most of her child and adolescent life in America, it was as if she was still in India when she went home every night. “I feel indian not because of the time I’ve spent in india or because of my genetic composition but rather because of my parents’ steadfast presence in my life (Lahiri).” This quote shows that her parents kept typical Indian traditions alive at home such as speaking the language, the hardships of being foreign and eating the food of the culture. When Lahiri moved out she kept these traditions and passes them onto her children. By being able to speak to her parents in Bengali over the phone and share the culture with her own kids she is able to keep in touch with the culture and not lose half of who she is. Unlike Lahiri, Mengestu never had the learnings of his culture from his parents. They didn’t teach him the language, the history, nor did they eat traditional Ethiopian dishes. However, despite Mengestu’s lack of cultural knowledge from his parents there is one thing that he learned from his father that later helped him figure out who he wanted to be. This trait he learned was taking walks. Although it sounds simple, anyone can take a walk it was the way he learned to walk from his father that was so special. He learned to gain familiarity to his surroundings by noticing colors, smells, shapes, and shadows. Even though nothing in his new town bonded him to an old familiar place like it did his father to Ethiopia, it still gave away at his emptiness and made him feel attached to this new area. “There was an obvious and deliberate echo to my walks, a self-conscious reenactment of my father’s routine that I adopted to stave off some of my own emptiness (Mengestu).” This quote shows how his father helped him become a part of something even though their Ethiopian culture was left unspoken of. Being bicultural is a hardship in itself. There not knowing which cultural to choose, choosing to adopt both, or to not choose one at all. When it comes to Lahiri and Mengestu, two authors with totally different stories and different choices on how to express their being bicultural there is one thing they have in common: following a habit their parents showed them. Even though we all choose our path in life and what we choose to identify with, our parents play a big role in what we are like when we grow up. Lahiri chose to be Indian like her parents and pass it onto her kids like her parents did with her. And Mengestu chose to be like his dad in the sense that he walked the town to gain insight and learn about his new surroundings.

Works Cited 1. Lahiri, Jhumpa. "My Two Lives." Newsweek 6 Mar. 2006. Print. 2. Mengestu, Dinaw. "Home at Last." America Now. Ed. Robert Atwan. 8th ed. Boston MA: Bedford/St. Martins, 2009. 111-115. Print.