ENGL 101
Essay #2-Illustration
Summer 2011
My Faithful Friend
The addiction to smoking cigarettes surmounts over the life of a smoker. What began as a meaningless childhood habit of doing something you’re not supposed to do, turned into an addiction that’s almost impossible to quit, and will probably be the nails that seal my coffin.
As a child the addiction was actually not that of the actual cigarettes. My first memory of smoking was in fifth grade. I was at school with another boy out in a field beyond the playground lying in a ditch. I had brought the cigarettes and matches that I had lifted off my older brother. We each had smoked about half of the cigarette when the bell rang and we had to rush back. I was sitting in class and the teacher was pacing around my desk stating that she smelled smoke. I persistently denied smelling smoke and she eventually went back to teaching the class. I remember the feeling of almost getting caught--the excitement, the rush, almost like a high. At this point early in my addiction, I wasn’t addicted to the cigarettes but to the thrill of doing something wrong and getting away with it.
As I grew older, my teens turned into twenties. I was old enough to legally smoke, and the “thrill” slowly faded into a physical addiction. The overwhelming feeling that I needed it set in. It calmed me, relaxed me, and comforted me. Everything I did, everywhere I went, I HAD to smoke. I would wake every morning to a cup of coffee and a cigarette, then another while driving to work. While I was at work I would take a break and go smoke. If I didn’t have a cigarette in my hand, I would be thinking about smoking.
Now that my thirties have turned to forties, my feelings regarding my habit have changed once again. No longer is it the 80’s where everyone I knew smoked including my family and friends. My father has since quit after his heart attack. Two of my brothers have managed to kick the habit. It’s certainly no longer the politically correct thing to do any more, and is very much looked down upon. No one wants to be around a smoker. No longer can you smoke in restaurants, sporting events, and even bars. The health issues alone make me want to quit. The patches and pills all helped for a little while, but sooner if not later I kept going back to that old “friend” that I feel I need. Then the feeling of failure, disappointment, and anger set in, but these emotions easily faded after inhaling that first puff. My old faithful, familiar “friend” came through for me, and I’m right back where I started.
To see myself grow old into my seventies and eighties, I know I’ll have to quit soon. The way I’m going, living out my fifties will be a real challenge. I have three young children and a wife to live for, and I know my body won’t be able to keep up with what I keep putting in it. Cancer, heart attack, lung problems…I realize the trade off of a shortened, sickly life for the satisfaction of this addiction is not worth it. What started out as a meaningless habit has turned into a life or death struggle with an addiction that will eventually kill me? But the question remains, will I be able to quit the addiction before my body quits on me? Maybe I can answer this after I have a quick smoke….