How Do I Recognize a Narcissist?
Typically, in a long term case, the narcissist has an ex-partner who they claim is mentally ill in some way and usually has become dependant on alcohol or illegal drugs. This is commonly the result of being subject to narcissistic abuse over a long period of time, though the narcissist will blame the ex-partner and say that it was the alcohol and drugs that made them like it even though it was the narcissist who drove them to drink and/or drugs. This can even go as far as psychological murder. Narcissists use very cleverly plotted emotional, mental and verbal abuse and guilt and sympathy to manipulate people around them, in covertly narcissistic relationships this is usually solely their partner. They use hypnotic forms of communication to very cleverly hide the abuse using embedded verbal commands and subliminal persuasion undermining the perception of the victim. Seeing as they have been practising this hypnotic art since they were a child they become experts in it and have what is commonly described as a super human capacity. So much so, that they can use one person to get them to go and manipulate another by proxy,. it is as though their subconscious mind is their conscious mind. Malignant narcissism can be described as a lack of empathy where the narcissist is unable to put themselves in anybody elses position and cannot relate to how others feel, though they will pretend they do. This is learnt naturally and recalled from script as and when needed. Narcissism develops naturally at the age of about six years old and develops from there and is a necessity for life but traumatic experiences can cause the development of personality to become stunted and as they grow they remain in the frame of mind of a six year old or on the other extreme, they are overly spoilt and smothered as a child (also a form of abuse). That is, they go through life playing pretend in the same way that a child does - they remain in the self-love stage of development and don't go on to learn love of another. Generally, when confronted and guilty a narcissist will deny everything outright to the point where they will swear on their own childrens lives without a flinch then try to convince the other person that they were imagining everything and that it was all in their head and even that they are insane. Narcissists are highly skilled expert liars and some can even beat the polygraph due to a lack of physiological response. It is common behaviour for them to go around visiting their families and friends houses causing a stir everywhere they go with malicious allegations, lies and rumours designed to ostracize their victim(s) and generally causing uproar in people's lives. Most people don't even realize it.
Over the years the people closest to and who live near the narcissist, particularly family and friends around them may start to point the finger and make accusations, usually against the partner of the NPD sufferer. Sometimes they may slowly begin to realize who it is that has been slandering them and stirring up trouble and will eventually have no choice but to break off all contact and move away. The narcissist will always try to say that it was the other person/s concerned that was causing trouble for them and they will act innocent having everybody around them fooled, thinking that everybody is incorrectly pointing the finger at them. They play the victim though in actual fact it was the narcissist doing the slandering all along - they even manipulate people into feeling sorry for them. They usually have one very close friend, a kind of scapegoat who trusts them. Someone they turn to for sympathy in this case scenario who they can rely and depend upon, someone who believes they see the narcissist for who they really are despite being fooled, narcissists really are that naturally skilled.
What's So Bad About NPD?
The worst thing about malignant narcissism is that it's so infectious, not contagious but infectious. Someone who is brought up by parents who are narcissists will inevitably be manipulated by them into becoming narcissistic themselves. It's a rapidly increasingly problem in society and is spreading at a fast rate - not just from people who suffer with the disorder naturally but from people who are manipulated into becoming narcissistic resulting from narcissistic abuse itself. It's a vicious cycle yet recognizing the narcissist can be extremely difficult.
Whereas psychopathy is a lack of guilt or remorse and sociopathy is a lack of conscience, narcissism is a lack of empathy - a narcissist can not relate to another persons emotional needs or understand the pain they are inflicting upon them.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Mental Abuse: Gaslighting