Premium Essay

Personal Narrative: My Sexuality

Submitted By
Words 1451
Pages 6
INTRODUCTION
My sexuality has always been in the back of my head, though I never pondered much about how I came to be the sexual being that I am today. I currently view myself as a woman who is “demisexual”, meaning I am not typically attracted to others unless we connect first. This does not mean I fall for everyone I become close to, but it is a prerequisite. There was one major event that made me realize this, and that was finding myself attracted to one of my close friends my senior year in high school…and she still remains as a very significant person in my life. We dated for two years, and during this time, I faced many challenges since this conflicted with how I was raised. Nevertheless, these experiences helped me grow and define who …show more content…
I knew I would have to eventually tell the people I was close to and it is not that I was not ready for that, I did not want to be told I was not “normal”. Even though I try to accept things easily, especially if they cannot be changed, the things they said phased me. Sure, I could have ignored their feelings, but their attitudes towards me went against mine. So naturally, I was upset with what my parents and friends called me when I tried explaining myself to them.
As a result of everyone’s attitudes and assumptions, I developed self-esteem issues. Even though I tried to accept myself, I did not feel like I was by friends or family. This eventually led me to distance myself from everyone other than my significant other. On top of that, I argued with my parents almost every time we talked. We could not see eye to eye, and they said I “changed for the worst for the wrong reason”. They convinced me that I was no longer a daughter they could praise because all I did was cause them heartache. Family is undeniably one of the things I value most, and so their attitudes greatly impacted my feelings toward myself as well as my relationship with those around

Similar Documents

Premium Essay

The Trauma of Gender

...The Gender Politics of Narrative Modes I want to challenge two linked assumptions that most historians and critics of the English novel share. The first is that the burgeoning of capitalism and the ascension of the middle classes were mainly responsible for the development of the novel. The second is that realism represents the novel's dominant tradition. [note 1] I want to propose instead that, as surely as it marked a response to developing class relations, the novel came into being as a response to the sex-gender system that emerged in England in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. [note 2] My thesis is that from its inception, the novel has been structured not by one but by two mutually defining traditions: the fantastic and the realistic. [note 3] The constitutive coexistence of these two impulses within a single, evolving form is in no sense accidental: their dynamic interaction was precisely the means by which the novel, from the eighteenth century on, sought to manage the strains and contradictions that the sex-gender system imposed on individual subjectivities. For this reason, to recover the centrality of sex and gender as the novel's defining concern is also to recover the dynamism of its bimodal complexity. Conversely, to explore the interplay of realist and fantastic narratives within the novelistic tradition is to explore the indeterminacy of subjectivities engaged in the task of imposing and rebelling against the constraining order of gender difference. ...

Words: 5434 - Pages: 22

Premium Essay

Middlesex And Fun Home: A Literary Analysis

...The two readings that I have chosen to write my final paper for our “Queer Americans” class over are Middlesex and Fun Home. Although the two books are very different stories, they also have undeniable similarities at the same time as they portray the struggles as well as the rewards in dealing with their queer sexualities. These readings connect well because they both deal with two coming of age individuals dealing with struggles in discovering their sexualities, with very dysfunctional home lives. The way queerness is depicted between the two storylines have been drawn out in two very unique, yet equally effective within the messages that the books portrayed. Queerness, usually a word or phrase that describes a type of sexuality, it correlates...

Words: 1757 - Pages: 8

Premium Essay

Gay and Lesbian Theme

...University of Tennessee, Knoxville Trace: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange Doctoral Dissertations Graduate School 12-2009 Peeking Out: A Textual Analysis of Heteronormative Images in Prime-Time Television D. Renee Smith University of Tennessee - Knoxville, drsmith@utk.edu Recommended Citation Smith, D. Renee, "Peeking Out: A Textual Analysis of Heteronormative Images in Prime-Time Television. " PhD diss., University of Tennessee, 2009. http://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_graddiss/10 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate School at Trace: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange. It has been accepted for inclusion in Doctoral Dissertations by an authorized administrator of Trace: Tennessee Research and Creative Exchange. For more information, please contact trace@utk.edu. To the Graduate Council: I am submitting herewith a dissertation written by D. Renee Smith entitled "Peeking Out: A Textual Analysis of Heteronormative Images in Prime-Time Television." I have examined the final electronic copy of this dissertation for form and content and recommend that it be accepted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, with a major in Communication and Information. Catherine A. Luther, Major Professor We have read this dissertation and recommend its acceptance: Michelle T. Violanti, Suzanne Kurth, Benjamin J. Bates Accepted for the Council: Carolyn R. Hodges Vice...

Words: 33344 - Pages: 134

Premium Essay

Analysis Of A Family Of A Different Perspective By Sarah Peterson

...This leads the author to vouch that this book could be useful in her and other homes. The rest of the narrative is organized around discussing same-sex couples to children in traditional homes. The support includes examples of having the discussion with a curious child; stating how parents may say, we feel our way is best in our home and them in theirs, avoiding a deep conversation. This support is helpful because it illustrates a possible real life response to a child. The author gives this example because she feels children won’t understand the situation as a whole given their age and mindset. The author tries to establish her point with this example and illustration of her personal opinion. She assumes an audience who may not be familiar with the storybook about Tango and whom may be resistant in having this discussion with their children. The author explains how she would approach the situation keeping in mind that children may not understand making her argument effective. This argument is effective also because the author, being a mother herself, has her own personal experience with the same sex couple topic. Therefore, she is able to provide actual examples in order for her audience to understand not only a situation like discussing same-sex couples...

Words: 738 - Pages: 3

Free Essay

Sexuality in Ulysses, Lolita and the World's Wife

...,The Presentation of male and female sexuality in Nabokov’s ‘Lolita’, Joyce’s ‘Ulysses’ and Carol Ann Duffy’s poetry anthology ‘The World’s Wife’ The themes of sex and sexuality have always remained somewhat hidden by society, concealing a darker unspoken reality which has power to threaten the pure and romantic values of marriage and intimate relationships as well as established gender roles. Despite the alleviation of religious and moral restrictions, sex embodies the warped animal reflection of the exclusively human concept of love, exposing primal desires and ensuring its continued belonging to the realms of the shocking and distasteful, while inadvertently strengthening its power. It is this power that lies at the heart of much modernist literature. The illicit imagery serves as a physical subversion of the dated foundations the writings oppose. Prominent in early modernist work was the theoretical influence of Sigmund Freud, most notably in the case of contemporary writer James Joyce whose literary techniques, such as the stream of consciousness writing in Ulysses, have come to epitomize modernist fiction. Ulysses not only challenges the censors’ attitude to sex, but also what were considered the sexual norms for men and women in pre-war Catholic society. Similarly, Vladimir Nabokov uses sexual deviancy to protest the theoretical ideas implicit in modernist literature through characteristics derived from post-World War II civilisation. The absence of structure or...

Words: 4061 - Pages: 17

Premium Essay

Cindy Sherman Research Paper

...As if caught in mid action moments before impending doom, the figure stares off to the side twisting away from the viewer. Attacking the figure an her self-confidence are everyday household items. However, for the figure these household products have taken on a life of their own with sexualized identities. Pointing directly at the figure's breasts is a phallic pan handle protruding from the corner. Just as the pan handle is directing the viewer's gaze towards the physical sexuality, the soap bottle's hourglass figure is juxtaposed against the figure's apron synched waist. Unlike in advertising, the focal points of the image are on the object’s general shapes rather than their function. This is achieved by taking the photo in black and white. Sherman "purposely developed the film in hotter chemicals to make it crackle," and produce a grainy quality (Stevens). The imperfection on the paper emphasize the 1950s cinematic quality. Acting as an essential component to a film's narrative, the same emotive qualities are present in Sherman's photographs. Not to deteriorate from the artistically strong photo, Sherman did not title her work because she thought “it would spoil the ambiguity” (Sherman 7). The numbers were assigned by the Metro Pictures Gallery...

Words: 1536 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Experiment in Modernist Fiction

...focus of our interest is modernist literature which is a subdivision of modernism and begins during the early stages of the 20th century, being seen in opposition to the traditional values promoted until the first World War. Many branches develop during this period (psychology, philosophy, political institutions etc.) and the realism of the earlier times is now rejected and replaced by the idea that everything is relative. Things take a new shift and the absolute truths vanish, leaving room for multiple interpretations and personalized opinions which are presented now, in writing. But how can one define something that has no clear conclusion? An element of this sort cannot have a finality, therefore, it is understood according to one’s personal background and experience. Modernist literature will always raise serious issues concerning the purpose and form of literature, questioning its former aspects. What are the reasons for writing a novel and what should a novel consist of? For example, the notion of “novel” becomes ambiguous in the mind of Virginia Woolf, who declared after writing “Mrs. Dalloway” that “I’m glad to be quit this time of writing a novel, and hope never to be accused of it again.” Next to Virginia Woolf which is believed to be one of the greatest modern authors, the faithful readers come across names like James Joyce, D.H. Lawrence, Henry James, Ernest Hemingway, or as in the case of the Romanian literature: Camil Petrescu, George Calinescu etc. These are...

Words: 1600 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Anthropological Bss Research --- Adoption of Modern Agriculture Technology Is a Socio-Political Choice a Qualitative Study on Agricultural Practices of a Farming Village in Northern Bangladesh

...ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS All praises due to Almighty Allah who enabled me to complete the research work. I am pleased to avail myself of the opportunity to express my deepest sense of respect, sincere appreciation and heartfelt gratefulness to my Anthropology department, to honorable supervisor & teachers who helped me for increasing anthropological insights by their guidance in planning and execution of present research work, suggestions, inspirations, affectionate feelings and constructive criticism through the work. I am very grateful for the support that our seminar librarian has shown by allowing me to take books in case of necessity and within short notice. The support will always be remembered. I am indebted to my parents and my friends for their immense mental support and courage to perceive through all sorts of difficulties until this research work was completed. I really feel proud of my honorable respondents who helped me to collect data in regard of my research title. Their helping mind really impressed me. So, I show my deepest sense of respect to them. My supervisor, I thank you for your guidance that brought me to the end of this work. Your politeness & cordial behavior added encouragement to my work. December, 2014 | Roll No:09203219Registration no: 3552Session: 2008-2009MSS, Department of Anthropology | ABSTRACT Being the main force conditioning human relationship, sex is essentially political. In any social context, the construction of...

Words: 29381 - Pages: 118

Free Essay

“Although Terrifying, Many of the Stories Are Also Darkly Comic.” Consider at Least Two of the Stories from the Bloody Chamber in the Light of This Comment.

...Chamber in the light of this comment. * candidates must consider at least two stories here – they may consider more * exploration of the ways in which the stories may be considered terrifying, an aspect of the gothic – likely reference to the numerous instances of horrific violence, sexual depravity, supernatural powers, psychological fear etc * exploration of the ways in which some of the stories may be considered comic – “Puss-in-Boots” is obviously comic – other stories have moments of sardonic humour, often created by surprise or defiance of our expectations * Response to the word “darkly” in the question and its implications of black comedy – laughing at things which are not normally considered funny – expect some personal response here – sense of humour is very individual! * some candidates may discuss Carter’s language – her intermingling of the poetic and literary with the bluntly crude may be seen as a source of dark humour, equally her choice of structure may make her writing darkly comic – her use of juxtaposition – some readers have seen the absurd brevity of “The Snow Child” as comic and it is unquestionably “dark” Carter’s ‘The Bloody Chamber’ certainly embeds an element of terror within the collection. However, despite claims of horror apparent in the Marquis from the very start, it is also reasonable to argue that the tale also combines elements of dark comedy within the text provided by the very uncanny male protagonist. By the “leonine”...

Words: 3224 - Pages: 13

Premium Essay

The Road Not Taken

...2. Men's Language (Excerpted from The Men's Bibliography: A comprehensive bibliography of writing on men, masculinities, gender, and sexualities, compiled by Michael Flood. 19th edition, 2008. Home URL: http://mensbiblio.xyonline.net/) a) Men and Language Note: Works on boys, literacy and language in education are listed under "Growing up Male" above. Coates, Jennifer. (2003). Men Talk: Stories in the making of masculinities. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishers. 1. ‘We was Playing Naked Football the Other Night’: Introduction. 2. ‘Good Story!’: The Formal Characteristics of Male Narrative. 3. ‘So I Thought ‘Bollocks to it’: Men, Stories and Masculinities. 4. ‘Bad as My Mate’: Stories in Sequence. 5. ‘She’d Made Sardines in Aspic’: Women’s Stories, Men’s Stories and the Construction of Gender. 6. ‘I’m Quite Good at Mexican Food’: Men’s Narratives in Mixed Conversation. 7. ‘Still in Shock Weren’t You Darling’: Masculinity and the Heterosexual Couple. 8. ‘There are Problems’: Men’s Talk and Contemporary Masculinities. Cowburn, Malcolm. (2004). Men, masculinities and what men do: the relationship of critique and change (invited review essay). Sexualities, 7, 4 497-501. Edley, N. (2001a). Analysing masculinity: Interpretative repertoires, ideological dilemmas and subject positions. In M. Wetherell, S. Taylor & S. Yates. (eds.), Discourse as data: a guide for analysis (pp. 189-229). London: Sage Publications. Edley, N. (2001b). I. Conversation analysis, discursive psychology...

Words: 1278 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Asian American Silence

...I am assigning this after We, the Dangerous because Camp Notes will supplement how the general policies toward Japanese Americans at the time affected personal and familial ties. We, the Dangerous focused more on the overarching racial discrimination theme, while Camp Notes focuses more on the silence between interpersonal relationships. In Camp Notes, Yamada narrated poems about the experiences of her grandmother, parents, her own internment experience, and even her conversation with her...

Words: 1121 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Worldwide Non Western Cultures Faced Fundamental Challenges to Their Cultural Identities Not so Much a Recentering of Culture but a Decentering of Culture

...described [and] which occurs after severe mechanical concussions, railway disasters and other accidents involving a risk to life; it has been given the name of traumatic neurosis’ (12). Freud’s remark brings to the fore the traumas of the industrial age as both individually and publicly experienced and negotiated. This condition of trauma as private and public, individual yet also societal is held in tension throughout Cunningham’s novel. Reflecting on the otherness of trauma and its vexed relationship to representation, this article will consider some aspects of the writing of trauma in Michael Cunningham’s 2005 novel Specimen Days; a text that offers a particularly powerful literary imaging of culture’s disavowals that return to haunt. In my discussion of Cunningham’s engagement with trauma, and in particular social and ‘insidious’ forms of trauma, the main concerns will be firstly how the text...

Words: 7114 - Pages: 29

Free Essay

Beginners

...Confronted with this Oliver reflects on his life growing up with two parents that never seemed to be the way he thought they should have. Writer and director Mike Mills experienced precisely this, when his father, shortly after his mother died because of brain cancer in 1999, opened up to him about being gay throughout his entire life. At this point, Mills’ father was at the age of 75 years and had been married to his wife for 45 years. Five years later, his father died due to cancer of the lungs. Mills wanted to share this story with the world, because he was so baffled by the adventure that he had lived through, as well as the uplifting and humorous sides that go hand in hand with even such sad topics as death. “The concrete details of my father’s life, the real struggles, and all the real humor gave the film an authenticity that I hope will make it more powerful and more emotional for all kinds of people” (Mills, 02.2011, para. 2). While writing the movie, Mills tried to make sense of things that did...

Words: 2890 - Pages: 12

Premium Essay

Effects Of Adversity

...in-depth third person view in Tess d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. In Conrad’s tale, the reader experiences the story through Marlow’s personal encounters upon his expeditions in Africa. Seen through the late nineteenth-century European eyes, the narrator creates images of violent imperial suppression and presents the corrupt colonial civilization that occurs in Africa; effectively creating a screen for the dehumanization and philosophical challenges of the pilgrims. Compared to Tess d’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy wrote in third person to establish...

Words: 1066 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Nervous Condition

...Men In Nervous Conditions: An Ignored Matter The men of Zimbabwe struggled to assert the independence of their people against political, cultural and religious colonial pressure (Vembe), but reduced women to silent supporters (Stone 113). This dynamic still holds true on the literary front, where male writers of Zimbabwe, and Africa in general, present to the west male-centered, idealized pictures of traditional women and culture. Women, however, uncertain that men will revalue them, concern themselves with the pressures within the culture (McLeod). For this reason, the men of Africa generally discourage female authors from revealing their gritty perspectives. Further, E. Kim Stone writes, “Under colonialism, female storytellers were excluded from the few powerful positions the British system of colonization allowed in Rhodesia,” suggesting the traditional place of women as storytellers, somewhat ironically, was also suppressed by the colonizers. Only women are interested in revealing the internal pressures of postcolonial Zimbabwe. But these hidden pressures are just the ones that cause the “nervous conditions” in the book titled as such. A female character narrates this text about women, bearing to light women's struggles to be themselves within a constraining environment. But even as critics revel in this rare, realistic portrayal of Zimbabwean women, they seldom explore the significance of Tsitsi Dangarembga's representation of men, too often passing them off as flat characters...

Words: 4225 - Pages: 17