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Have you ever spent a day just crying? Like anyone in the world, I've had my fair share of problems. Ranging from little things, such as missing the bus, to massive, like losing a loved one. The most difficult obstacle that I have had and even today that continuously comes back to haunt me, is my depression. Most people believe it's just the stress of school but no one sees the true emotions
I feel when trying to gain the motivation to …show more content…
Even though it's hard to deal with, I've learned to overcome it and become a greater person that tries to diminish the world it creates and make it bright and filled with opportunities. Growing up, I could tell there was something wrong with how I perceived what I heard or saw, and I generally had a more pessimistic response than the people around me. Overtime, I began to question my existence and was really focused on trying to become someone of importance but instead stayed hidden in the shadows. I would get upset at every little thing and sulk for hours because
I was just overwhelmed with sadness and it hurt. My mom never really understood the circumstances behind the way I was acting because I never showed the signs of being depressed. How tired I was, how I didn't have an appetite, how irritable I became towards others, and the loss of interest towards learning and not being able to concentrate, feeling worthless and alone. I never wanted to express my actions toward her because I was terrified of her response and that she would reject me. During the depression, my grades plummeted and I could no longer focus on what I was learning. I became so withdrawn from …show more content…
It keeps pulling you back down farther and farther and makes you lose all hope to escape. At this point, you feel as if it's better to just give up and let it consume your body rather than continue asking for help because no one is listening or offering solutions that will help. I never felt so alone during these periods, constantly being at war with myself about everything. I felt like if I told anyone about this, that they would laugh and call me crazy by the fears that I had. To be rejected or unloved, being erased from existence only to result in a life of eternal solitude. My mom started worrying so much because she didn't know how to fix it and felt like it was her fault for me to become like this, I was hiding from my reality and wanted to end it because it became too hard to handle every day. It wasn't until high school that I decided that if I didn't talk to someone about this, the situation would continue to escalate and destroy me completely. I began seeing a therapist and even though it was difficult at times, I could feel it help and lessen the weight it held on my shoulders.