From the time we are born we have expectations in society to abide by. Girls are put in “girl” colors; boys are put in “boy” colors. If you ask someone why those are “girl” colors or “boy” colors the response is generally “because they are”. Who decided that those colors have a gender preference? Who even decided those are those colors? This class led me to question society itself and realize we give things an identity based on what we are told. The most important thing I learned was the inverted spectrum. I am going to define what the inverted spectrum is, explain what it is, and provide examples how it applies to everyday lives. Then I will explain that the inverted spectrum is important to me because in reality no one can understand my mental state no matter how I explain it, I learned to think for myself, and perception is our reality even though it may be completely false. I will then explain some counter arguments against my reasons such as knowing someone’s mental state because of a similar event or emotion and that we believe what we believe based on facts that are then passed down from person to person. Then I will explain how the counter arguments are incorrect. Finally, I will conclude my argument. The inverted spectrum suggests things are not just input, output because of our own experiences. We do not learn through input and output such as mathematics but our experiences. What this means is someone could pick up a pink crayon but see black but are always told that that color is pink so they see the pink crayon as black but no one else will ever know that. An example of this is you can think something that no one else can or will ever know. Almost like when someone is upset about something and when they explain it and you do not see or understand the big deal. The fact is we are completely alone. Our mental state and experiences are our own that no one else can completely understand. One of my biggest fears is that I am completely alone and no one understands me. The inverted spectrum confirmed this fear, which is one reason why it is the most important thing I learned. It always seems like no one understands me when I talk about my past. A lot of people, especially here, at Jacksonville University, think that I am making everything up or exaggerating. It is probably due to the fact that I come from the bottom of the socioeconomic status while most are from the middle to the top that have everything given to them. This is why they do not understand or know what it is like to go without food or water or no cooling or heating system in Florida. No one can grasp what it felt like when my mother and father spilt and my mother just abandoned me and my sister at my grandmother’s house so she could be with her new boyfriend. Or how it felt to find out after six years of sexual abuse that your mother does and has believed you about her boyfriend yet did nothing or has done nothing to stop it when she drunk talking to a friend. Instead of doing anything when I would finally tell her she would get mad at me like it was my fault. People always want to know why didn’t I stop it or prevent it. In my mind I couldn’t. My body would just freeze up from fear and there was nothing I could do about it. But no one understands that and because of the inverted spectrum that is okay. Our mental states and experiences are our own that no one else can completely understand. No one has been through exactly what I have seen or experienced and I need to understand and accept that. Just because someone says I would of done this or done that does not mean they would have if they felt or experienced what I did so I can no longer blame myself for what did or did not happen on my part based off of what others say. Some people argue the “I went through a similar experience and this is what I did”. Me and that person are completely different and experienced two different events. Other events in my past may have been the cause for the way I reacted that they have not experienced. An example of this is one of my friends was raped by her brother she came to my wanting help. The problem is I have never been raped by my brother. I do not even have a brother. I have never been raped by a family member. A boyfriend? Yes. Sexually abused? Yes. But not a relative. They are different events experienced by two completely different people. A common example of this phenomenon is when a friend and their boyfriend or girlfriend are fighting and the common thing for the friend to say is do not deal with that crap break up with him or her because that is what you did when your boyfriend or girlfriend did whatever it was. The advisor does not fully know and will never know what the advisee feels or thinks about the event completely. The advisor may not fully know who attached or dependent the advisee is to their significant other. So the advisor does not completely know what they would do in the same situation. The advisor and advisee may have a similar event do not hold the same past, same mindset, or experience. So it is not the same. It is far from it. This leads to another reason why the inverted spectrum was the most important thing I learned. We believe what we do because of what others tell us regardless if it is right or wrong. As mentioned earlier, a common mistake people make is when we go to other people for advice. A lot of people take really bad advice and end up completely miserable as a result. This is because they believed what the person they went too said and not what they personally believed or wanted. In addition, the passing of the information whether it is right or wrong and believing it is why rumors spread. The people in my high school were notorious for this. A rumor could be spread across the whole school in under a minute. Not kidding. One day there was a rumor that spread about me that I had no idea about but apparently everyone else did because I lost every friend I did have. No one believed my side of the story when I did find out but that is okay I learned to be a stronger person. Some people still believe the other person over me but the ones who finally believed me after I explained everything realized that they were dumb for believing it in the first place. Theses may seem like stupid examples, so a more academic reason is when a teacher says something that does not seem quite right yet we believe it anyways or do not argue against it because you see it as they are the teacher and you are the student so they should know what they are talking or teaching about without being biased. Learning the inverted spectrum led to question my professors because they can be wrong. My Middle East professor always told us to be open minded about the Middle East when in reality she was not open minded with anything against the Middle East. She assumed because I am in NROTC that I was for the war over seas and agreed with everything going on when the fact of the matter is I do not believe we should be over there and the reason I joined NROTC was because of the guaranteed job after college and getting paid to go to college in addition to everything being paid for. I come from a destitute family. I want better for myself and possible children than that. Most of the professors just assume that if you are going to Jacksonville University you come from a family with money with money, when there are students who worked there asses off to get here. Teachers are not perfect and can and will be wrong sometimes especially if it is something out of their field of knowledge.
A counter argument that can be made is that we believe things based on fact not what we are told. We are told things from the moment of birth of what things are. This includes what hunger feels like, what thirst feels like, what girls wear, what boys where, what boys like, what girls like, what colors are and the list goes on and on. This is a way to create or establish a norm so we can be categorized and controlled. An example is that most people can agree with is when a teacher is teaching something we expect and assume that it is right and do no research to make sure all the information is credible. When in reality they may be wrong the entire time. I believe this became apparent upon the first time we had philosophy class and had to take a quiz. There was a question about who discovered the Americas and almost everyone put down Christopher Columbus. We were corrected with, how did Christopher Columbus discover the Americas if there were natives to kill? That is when we realized Christopher Columbus did not discover the Americas even though we were told that our whole life. In fact, I remember when I was in kindergarten we celebrated Thanksgiving by dressing up as Indians and Pilgrims and made things like butter. In later years we were taught that the natives and pilgrims did not get along and in fact the pilgrims used natives as slaves. This is supposed to be based on history. What about in science when we are taught theories? What I mean specifically is when we were being told that Global Warming is going to happen or is happening. It was even stated in an email between the scientists who have said it that it was false but now it is being taught in school and is in textbooks. In addition to this problem, textbooks lie. The textbooks are altered towards the United States to make our history look better. Just like if you go to school overseas, their history is geared to look like they are the “good guys”. There is nothing taught that is a mess up by the US in textbooks such as helping the overthrow of a government in Brazil leading to a military dictatorship that resulted in torture to people who wanted freedom. As a result, we are taught that the US is this great country that believes in freedom when it really is not. Just think about the immigrants. They are treated like crap and most believe they should not be here and are taking all of our jobs when we are all immigrants and they are doing jobs that no one else want to do. If this is not a good enough example, the one I love the most, is when people believe who the best candidate is based on what others say. When Obama was running for office against McCain, a lot of people wanted Obama to win because he wanted change and was going to be this great president. When you ask them what he was going to change they would say he is going to help the African Americans, which he has not done. If you ask who killed Bin Laden people say Obama did, when navy seals did when Obama did not want them in the area they are in. If you ask if Obama likes our military and why do you believe that, the classic response is yes, because he is pulling them out of Afghanistan and Iraq. People are still being sent overseas to those areas and to other areas where they were not originally put. And people in the military went without pay and benefits for a month but still had to work and fight and people are being forced out of the military in order to reduce the size meanwhile the military is being spread out more and more. The public does not know these details because they are not told or do the research to find out. The reader may be wondering how this pertain to the inverted spectrum so an example that goes directly with the inverted spectrum is when you are growing up and are learning the colors. An adult is telling you what each color is as you grab it or touch it. The problem is, when you see the color you might see or experience a different color they are. You might see red but you are told it is purple and start calling your red purple. When you are asked what color the purple crayon is you will say purple even though you see it as red. You are able to pass color tests and no one will ever know you see something different including yourself. It is what you were taught and what you now believe. This is why we believe things based on our experiences and what we are told. We are taught to believe the person who is teaching us and have respect for them when they may not be any different from you and you may even have more knowledge about certain subjects then they do. This is why I have learned to question teachers because they are not always right. And question what I am told.
Most importantly, the inverted spectrum has taught me is that perception is reality. People believe certain things based on what their mind is telling them or what they have learned to be true. A common belief or perception is the “it is all about me” thought. To me it is one of the most annoying things about most people. These are the people who believe they have it the worst, hardest, or best when in reality someone is always better or worse off. Or people believe they deserve special treatment because of who they are or what they do or what they are a part of. To put it more clearly, a friend of mine, believes her life is so much harder because she is in the school of nursing. She believes she has so much more work than I do when it seems like I have been doing more than her and no matter what I said or showed her I had to do she was worst off cause she is a nursing student. Another example near and dear to me is people in my Tuesday/ Thursday classes have their own perception of me just because I am in uniform half the time. I am just as girly as any other girl; I just know how and can keep up with Marines in physical training. Yes, I am in the military instead of being in a sorority but I am happy with that. I am not paying to have friends or to tell me how to dress, where to go, who I can and cannot hangout with. Instead, my classes, books, housing, and meals are paid for in addition to receiving a pay check just for working out, going to class, and wearing a uniform once a week. Yeah it sucks waking up at four in the morning almost every day, but to me it is worth it. I am reprimanded for not wearing pounds of makeup or following the “trends”. When in reality, I do not understand why girls wear pounds of makeup or spend hundreds of dollars for outfits, when I still wear clothes from Junior High. I can and probably never will understand why they believe they have to do that when normally the reasoning behind it is that it is what guys want. I do not know any guy who pays attention to what brand clothes girls wear and most think the least amount of makeup the better because it will not take them long to get ready and know that they are attractive with or without makeup. It also shows that the girl is comfortable with who they are and what they look like. My favorite example is when the girl in my philosophy class always argued that she is who she is because it is me or I am important because it is me. She believes she is important because she thinks highly of herself making herself know she is better than everyone else because it is her. This is the common teenage mindset of it is all about me. This is their perception of themselves. No matter what you tell them they are going to ignore it and act like they are still better than everyone else. I have learned to try to ignore it because it is what they truly believe. There is no way to change it so I have to try to just deal and understand that. This also caused me to realize that even though I may not completely understand someone’s mindset, I can understand people better because I do not know or understand. I just have to have compassion, empathy, and patients for the people around me.
On the other hand, it can be argued that reality is reality because it is how things really are. What about people who suffer from schizophrenia? They hear voices in their heads and are legitimately crazy. Tell them they do not really hear voices and see what he or she says or watch how they act. They truly do hear voices in their head. Or ask a depressed person why they are sad. They may or may not know why but see the world as the dark horrible place when you may see it as a happy sunny day. Your perception causes you to react or think the way you do even though you are experiencing the same event. Your perception of who you are reflects how you think of yourself and what you do as a result. Almost every girl I know is on a diet because they think they are fat. When I look at them I do not see fat at all but that is all they see so they do whatever they can to get rid of it even though there may not be anything to get rid of. Or there are people that do nothing with their life and you believe they could have done so much more. What is not known is that they have been told they will never succeed and are a worthless piece of shit. They began to believe that that is the truth and let what was said come true. This is apparent with my sister. She has a learning disability and has always been told she is not going to be able to do anything when if she was taught she could have. She is not dumb and remembers almost anything and everything you tell her. On the other hand I was told my whole life I was not going to make it out of high school because I am going to get knocked up and drop out. Instead of given in I did whatever I could to prove them wrong. My sister and I grew up in the same house but had two different mindsets. She took the, it is what everyone is telling me so it must be true when I took the, I do not give a crap what you say and worked my butt off to succeed. A common mistake people make is that if you grow up poor you are going to be poor the rest of your life. Or if you are poor or grow up poor you are addicted to drugs, alcohol and will not complete high school. I am proof that is not true. I have never done drugs. I do not drink. I took extra core classes and took classes at my school after school. There were only six class periods, I took seven. I took AP and honor classes. I was also straight “A” student who still had a social life. Meanwhile, I extra stress at home that no one ever knew about. I wanted to get away from my home life no matter what it took. As a result, I could have gone to any college I wanted regardless of the NROTC scholarship that would have been completely paid for. My own family does not understand this. They did not experience what I felt or thought or did like the inverted spectrum. They see it as, if we had more money I would not have joined the military, when in reality it is what I wanted. I could have gone to the University of South Florida at absolutely no expense. They were begging me to go there. My perception of my life caused me to want to work harder so I do not have to deal with what I grew up in. I knew what I was capable of even though others told me I could not. However, this is not something everyone can really relate too. Most college students that I have talked to believe that drinking alcohol and getting drunk is the best thing in the world. They claim it allows them to relax and have fun. That it allows you to bond with your team or classmates. They all look at me like I am crazy when I tell them that I do not drink alcohol and when I try to explain why I do not, no one understands. This is due to the fact that when they think about alcohol they think of a good time. When I think about alcohol I think about the time I got cheated on, my friends dad beating his family, my mother’s boyfriend sexually abusing me, my parents fighting and getting put in the middle to stop them or my mother and her boyfriend not having any money for food, drink, or bills but there is alcohol and drugs in the house. Our perceptions are completely different about the same thing making it our own personal reality.
As a final point, the inverted spectrum has completely changed my life. It has led me to understand the people around me. I am also able to understand my significant other better. This is because I know we do not experience the same thing so it is okay that he does not know exactly what I am feeling or thinking so I try to find ways for him to understand where I am coming from by putting it in an aspect to what he could understand better even though it is still completely different. I now understand that it is okay that I am completely alone because it is what makes me who I am in the sense of the actions I make or how I react to things that is different from what others would do so I cannot blame myself for doing otherwise. The inverted spectrum also made me realize that our perception of things become our reality because it is what we believe. And our beliefs is what we hold to dear to us the most.