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Romance at Work

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Submitted By kld024
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Kelsey Davidson

Dr Dickerson

Human Resources

November 7, 2013

Workplace Romance

Dating someone at your work site is nothing new. Work has always been a key place for persons to meet and learn about one another. Over the years the trend has increased, and because of increased litigation brought on by harassment and discrimination lawsuits, Workplace Romances have become dangerous to a Company environment.
Perhaps the most effective way to limit your exposure to litigation is for a Company to develop policy's that address behavior, conduct, and performance issues associated with employee conduct involved in workplace dating.
Being with someone over 40 hours a week gives you a chance to know them. You respect them by working on projects with them and a lasting bond is developed. Why then shouldn't a willing couple be granted the time and freedom to enjoy each others company in a workplace setting. After all, you don't get the chance to see and know someone over time which you met at a bar or some other place. The co-worker shares your success's, your Company goals and values, and if your on the same shift, time at and off work. You won't miss work because you want to see her/him on a regular basis, especially if your married and limited to seeing them away from work because of a suspecting husband or wife. After all, everyone is professional and a grown up and knows how to act, we can handle the office romance just fine.
Another positive includes always being together. Being in front of one another during the day creates an exciting, fun-filled relationship. Working in the same office together, can create a stronger bond between the two of you. This could also help promote a better work effort from the two employees. Being able to spend the days together can help reduce the stress of not knowing where the other partner is or what they are doing. When you date someone you work with, you are anxious to get to work to see him or her. Every moment at work becomes a cherished moment. This could help increase work productivity and the tensions and pressure become less noticeable when you are able to simple look across the way and see that special person smiling at you. Another positive outcome of this romance is having that person there to help your when your are stressing out about a meeting or finishing a project. They can be a helping hand to one another with their work projects or problems since they are familiar with what is going on in the workplace. Especially if the lover is more experienced and can offer their expertise on certain subjects which could lead to greater accomplishments and help further the others career. Understanding one another becomes easier when the couple works under the same roof. They begin to have a stronger bond by having that understanding and respect for one another. The couple knows what is going on with the other at work, therefore, they know why they are stressed or in a bad mood which could help with knowing how to aid or simple give encouragement.
Employees may argue that dating other employees is a harmless act and does not affect nor should it be restrained by Company rules. To these employees I would point out the following problems: Productivity is stalled – Longer visits at the water cooler, unproductive e-mail to each other, reasons to visit your lovers cubicle, gossip from co-workers about you or your partner. Discrimination – Employees receiving special treatment such as; raises or promotions given to workplace partners. This can be seen as discrimination by other employees and whether real or perceived will cause your HR dept great costs and time to correct. Alienation by other employees – Whether they believe it or not, other employees are not comfortable when around an employee who is having a romantic relationship with another employee. They are afraid of what they might say that would offend or questions that may be asked. Such as: “ What are people saying about me and Tom dating?” Reputations are damaged – For a female this is especially a difficult situation. The tendency for others to think or say, “ well we all know what she did to get that promotion don't we.” For the Male it could be reversed, “ John should not be promoted, it would only give him more chances to date the help.” Ruins relationships – If one or both of the individuals are married then you have the chance the relationship at the office can cause a breakup in their marriage. Breakups can cause stress, loss of production and focus, financial problems and could ultimately lead to violence.
My position is that Workplace Romances are not good. So as an HR professional providing guidance to a Company CEO, what should you advise him when it comes to his question of whether or not he should allow workplace romance?
First we should give him the facts. According to a 2012 survey by Careerbuilders.com, 38% of the respondents said they have dated a co-worker at least once in their career. Of these one third (1/3) reported, they married the co-worker. So you might think workplace romance is good. But then the math says two thirds (2/3) of those that dated broke up. That's about 25% that broke up. That's 25% with potential harassment claims, ruined reputations, negative marks on their resume for promotions, or at the very least two employees that now can't get along. We have a problem.
How can we avoid the problem when we know at least 38% of our employee population will be dating? I submit the best way to handle this situation is not to out right discourage it, but, to regulate it with narrowly drafted policy's that spell out performance and behavior expectations along with clearly defined discipline. The policy should be written in a way that it will affect all situations and the employee should be aware he/she is required to abide by the policy and there will not be any exceptions regardless of position. Training is the key.
One course recommended by the law firm of Fisher and Phillips is a, “Love Contract.” This contract when signed by both party's would say the relationship is consensual and both parties agree the relationship in no way constitutes harassment or unfair treatment to which the Company may be help liable. This way if/when they break up they can't claim coercion. With any policy training is the key and with this type policy the facts and expectations should be clearly explained and understood by all employees. They should: Know the policy – understand what is acceptable in the workplace, the limitations and ask questions at all times during the relationship for a clear understanding. Weigh the career risks – With this relationship come risks, reputation, promotion, transfers, etc Maintain professionalism – In the office, with your actions and words Avoid dating someone in a higher or lower position – Both are problematic and the best of these evils would be to date someone on your same level. With this there is not a question of favoritism in pay or duty's. NO PDA – Leave the show of affection at home or at the hotel. The policy should address this area but common sense tells you no one else wants to see this. Plan for the worst – While 2/3 of the relationships fail you can assume the odds are against you. Protect yourself from things you might have said or promised in a moment of passion that could cause you or your Company trouble. Ask yourself if we break up can we work together, how will my co-workers see me or my old partner, can we both stand the gossip and cross looks. Consider leaving – You might consider this an extreme move but with all the other pressures the romantic relationship affords, at this Company, it might be the lesser of evils. At least then if the relationship lasts you will have friends from both Company's that will attend your wedding.

References

7 tips for handling an office romance. www.boston.com

Office Romance Policies Can Reduce Risk. October 2012. Sarah Fister Gale. www.workforce.com/articles/office-romance-policies-can-reduce-risk 20 Problems a Workplance Romance Can Cause, October8,2009, Ruth Houston,
http://www.examiner.com/article/20-problems-a-workplace-romance-can-cause

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