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Solution of Company Case Target: from “Expect More” to “Pay Less”

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Submitted By Pakistan1234
Words 321
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LETTER EDITING EXERCISE

Use the following process to evaluate and edit the letter on the following page.

1. Read the letter and then comment on how readable you found it. Briefly analyze the factors that influenced your ability to read it easily.
2. Restructure paragraph 1 into two readable paragraphs. Then, edit the phrasing in those paragraphs to make it simpler and more direct (without changing the writer’s apparent meaning). Also, repair any unclear sentence structures.

The following letter has seven errors in the use of verbs. Click on a word (or group of words) if you think there is a mistake. If you click on a mistake, enter the correction in the box and click "Check". Use capital letters when necessary. Click "Hint" for help typing the correction. Note: You will lose points when you ask for hint. Click "See Solution" to give up and see all of the mistakes.
-------------------------------------------------
Top of Form
February 16, 2010

Zakir Khan, Patient Relations Officer
Pineview Hospital
99 Jupiter Road
Sault Ste Marie, ON P6G 1V9

Dear Mr. Khan:
I write on behalf of my mother who is a patient in the Intensive Care Unit at Pineview Hospital from February 2nd to February 10th of this year. While she stayed in the hospital, one of the cleaning staff accidently throwed her hearing aid into the garbage. The nurse manager in the ICU was telling me that I should contact you about getting the hearing aid replaced. The nurse manager also has told me that the hospital would pay for the replacement.

Please sending me the necessary forms so that I can begin this process as soon as possible because my mother is having great difficulty hearing without her hearing aid.

Sincerely,

Thomas Rhiner

1. Bottom of Form 1. Write (am writing) 2. Is (was) 3. She stayed (was staying) 4. Throwed (threw) 5. Was telling (told) 6. Has told (told) 7. Sending (send)

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