Rafia Syed
English M-11
October 15, 2014

PARENTS SHOULD NOT USE SPANKING TO DESCIPLINE THEIR CHILD

There is a classic story about the mother who believed in spanking as a necessary part of discipline until one day she observed her three- year-old daughter hitting her one-year-old son. When confronted, her daughter said, “I’m just playing mommy.” This mother always spanked her children. Children love to imitate, especially people whom they love and respect. They perceive that it’s okay for them to do so. Parents should not use spanking to discipline their children because spanking does not improve behavior, it may lead to abuse, and it also brings back bad memories.

Firstly, parents should not use spanking to discipline their children because it does not improve the behavior of a child. Many a times we have heard parents say, ‘‘the more we spank the more he misbehaves.’’ Spanking makes a child’s behavior worse, not better. The child who feels right acts right. Spanking undermines the principle. A child who is hit feels wrong inside and this shows up in his behavior. The more he misbehaves, the more he gets spanked and the worse he feels. The cycle continues. We want the child to know that he did wrong, and to feel remorse, but to still believe that he is a person who has a value. One of the goals of disciplinary action is to stop the misbehavior immediately, and spanking may do that. But, it is more important to create a conviction within the child that he doesn’t want to repeat the misbehavior. One of the reasons for the ineffectiveness of spanking in creating inner discipline in children is that immediately after spanking, the child is so occupied with the perceived injustice that he forgets the reason for which he is spanked. Sitting down with him and talking after the spanking to be sure he’s aware of what he did can be done just as well (if not better) without the spanking part.

Secondly, parents should not use spanking to discipline their children because it may lead to child abuse. Punishment escalates. Once you begin pushing a child ‘’a little bit’’ where do you stop? A toddler reaches for a forbidden glass. You tap the hand as a reminder not to touch. He reaches again and you swat the hand. After withdrawing his hand briefly, he once again grabs the glass. You hit harder. You’ve begun a game no one can win. The issue then becomes ‘’who’s stronger?’’ Your hand, or the child’s will – not the problem of touching the vase. What do you do now? Hit the child harder and harder until the child’s hand is sore and he can’t possibly continue to disobey? The danger of beginning corporal punishment is that you may feel you have to bring out bigger weapons: your hand becomes a fist, the switch becomes a belt, the folded newspaper becomes a wooden spoon, and now what began as seemingly innocent escalates into child abuse. Punishment sets the stage for child abuse. Parents, who punish, set themselves up for punishing harder.

Lastly, parents should not use spanking to discipline their children because it may bring back bad memories. A child’s memories of being spanked can scar otherwise joyful scenes of growing up. People are more likely to recall traumatic events than pleasant ones. I grew up in a very nurturing home, but I was occasionally and deservedly spanked. I vividly remember the steal spoon scenes. My mother asked me to write a test that she prepared for me, in order to ready me for the exam that I was going to write the other day. I decided to cheat from the page behind my book that had the answers and she saw me doing that. She heated a steel spoon over the stove and told me that if I ever did that again she would place it over my hand. But it somehow stung me and made an impression upon me, physically and mentally. Although I remember growing up in a loving home, I don’t remember specific happy scenes with nearly as much detail as I remember the spanking scenes. It’s amazing how the unpleasant memories of spankings can block out the positive memories. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt.

In conclusion, Parents should not use spanking to discipline their children because spanking does not improve behavior, it may lead to abuse, and it also brings back bad memories.