College is supposed to be the place that you find yourself, but at times I feel more lost than ever. Struggling immensely first semester, I felt like I was encountering a fork in a road, not knowing what major or direction in life I was trying to fulfill. Like most people, I went from shyly dipping my toes into the frigid pool of freedom to abruptly diving head first into the deep end of complete independence. Compared to how I was first semester, I have since changed from not knowing what major I should pursue to deciding on majoring in art . When I decided that an art major would take me down the right path on the forked road, I got the reassurance I needed in order to find my voice and identity. This in return inspired me to make my portfolio’s …show more content…
My weakness as a writer is showcased in the rough draft of my first essay titled “Take One For The Team.” In the essay, I include facts about deforestation in order to relate back to my thesis on how society turns a blind eye to the corruption similarly depicted in the story of “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas.” For example, I excessively explain as, “deforestation allows us to expand on communities and contributes positively to businesses and finding working jobs for people, but causes suffering onto the environment through climate change, loss of habitats for species, and an abundance more of environmental issues” (Choi 1). Exemplifying improvement in my final draft, I rephrase the ineffective, complex sentence to be simply stated as, “deforestation has allowed us to further develop communities, and contribute positively to businesses by additionally allowing jobs for people” (Choi 1). Compared to the longer sentence, this straightforward sentence is not as confusing to read, and thus more effective. Also in the essay, I go into depth on my opinions over the controversial topics of deforestation as well as sweatshops by using evidence that I researched to further my claim. My viewpoint and the various viewpoints of the articles I researched, also highlights my theme on how everyone has their own individual beliefs …show more content…
Similarly to the growth of my identity, my writing has also grown tremendously as well. In the past I have always struggled with formulating a strong thesis that would be able to carry the rest of my essay. However, from this English course, I have been able to form theses that helps focus my ideas in one statement. An example of one of my theses is, “Connie’s experience throughout the plotline with gradually darkening shifts of tone and diction, detailed characterization, and overlapping themes showcases Oates’s twisted and unexpected story that chronicles the expressive attitude of sexuality in the American youth culture”(Choi 2). This thesis sets up the rest of my essay as well as summarizes my main points and